Monday, March 31, 2014

Efficient

My talent for this world is taking inefficiently run small businesses and streamlining them for accuracy and precision -- on the financial side.  I am a guru at organizing office operations. 

Five and 1/2 years ago one of the organizations I work with needed to fire the entire office staff for fraud and embezzlement.  They needed help, so I stepped (voluntarily) in and made rhyme and reason of it all and now it's running like a Swiss clock. 

It was a lot of work getting it to that point.  Just because I was not up in front of cameras shaking hands and putting my nose up some body's butt, my hard work went unnoticed.  It was taken for granted. 

Not that I mind being invisible, don't get me wrong, but what tipped me past the point of no return was when I asked the for a modest fee I was turned down.  I had already approached the chairman prior to a meeting telling him what I was going to ask for - he even confirmed it in an email.  However, when got in front of the board of trustees he did a 180 on me.  He did not stop there.  He went on to insult me that doing my work "was no big deal and that he could do it."

hmmmmmmmmm  I was seething for days.  I made the announcement that I was resigning from doing the books effective immediately.  Mr. Arrogant, surprised that I called him on his bluff, sent out a flowery email praising my hard work and dedication in a time of crisis for the organization and that he would take over the accounting (after he hired somebody, of course) hopefully soon.

Well, soon is here.  I'm passing him all the accounting stuff tonight smiling ear-to-ear as I give him the files on a flash drive. 

I don't know how a volunteer quits, but I just did.  There are better things ahead for me that are actually offering compensation for my work.  What a concept. 

Sunday, March 23, 2014

The Dream

It happened again last night and early this morning.  I had a psychic dream and a telepathic hit.  This time I don't want to follow up on my gut as I don't want to know that my intuition was correct (again).  Some things are better to let go of.

Saturday, March 22, 2014

Collection of Data

Now all of the tech giants are storming the Oval Office trying to shame the administration of using data for national security.

"How DARE the government use collected data for the purpose of national security," the bemoan.

Here's the question of the day.  From what I get it's OK for private enterprise to collect and snoop with no limits, regard, or restrictions whatsoever, but if the government uses the data they are automatically evil.

Question to tech giants:  If you did not collect data in the first place, then the government would not be wanting access to it.  Simple fix.  Don't store it and/or sell it.  Ohhhhhhhhhhh, but how would they get paid for pop-up ads aimed directly at your demographic?  The tech giants even sell your preferences for anticipated voting actions. 

Sorry, but Facebook, Yahoo, Google, AT&T et al, are the real culprits on personal privacy invasions.  Nobody is asking questions as to their internal controls on personal privacy (which is a free-for-all).  The tech giants are waaaaaaaay too quick to put the spot light on the government to paint them as evil.  There is a solution.  Just put in the lengthy-verbose-legalese-disclosure upon downloading the latest Angry Birds app that draw us in for use of such apps may be disclosed for government analysis.  Done.

As for Feinstein being surveillanced.... what's good for the goose is good for the gander.  Suck it up, sister.  You're a steward of the public and if we're paying you, we own you.  Don't like it?  Give up your job and all income that has been generated by the taxpayers.  




Friday, March 21, 2014

Bodega Bay

My birthday is in February.  My friends wanted to do something for me.  With our busy schedules and such we finally put it on the calendar to spend time out at Bodega Bay. 

Can't we plan ANYTHING without one of our kids wrecking it?  I guess not.  Just as we were settling in for a night of laughter, wine and gossip my friend's cell phone rings.  Long story short, her teenage boy did something stupid and next thing you knew all of us were piled in her car scouring known areas where she thought he would be. 

The cops found him first.  We found him second.  Of course the teenage boy was drunk out of his mind.  Smoking hash and doing 'whippets' only added to the daze.  Of course there were other kids in the car.  The whole scene was like a reality tv show.

Yes, they were teens using poor judgement.  I can't sit here and say that I never pulled a similar stunt.  I could not help but think of the recent fatal accident on Hwy 12 and Farmers Lane.  




Thursday, March 20, 2014

Scammers Exposed

Don't underestimate me.  No, I retract that.  Please do.  I find great joy in blowing minds with "How in the HELL did you know THAT?"

...then it's the uncomfortable squirmy lies and denial trying to slither out of being caught....

I love it when people treat me like I'm stupid.  Little to they know I'll figure them out.  They generally are not as smart as they think they are. 

Latest episode:  I'm going on a work trip later on this year.  I'm in charge of the money so it's my job to reimburse expenses incurred.   The key word here is "incurred."

I got a request for reimbursement yesterday for airfare.  Hmmmmm.. where's the receipt?  All I got was the airline confirmation code and an internal company bank account register showing payment rendered for the ticket.  The fare amount looked legitimate, but my internal red siren went off telling me something was amiss.  A little digging on the airline website and I discovered that the air reservation was made with frequent flyer miles, and the checking account register submitted to me was falsified to make it appear as though money was actually spent. 

Come on, people.  Do you *really* think I'm that dumb?  Trying to get reimbursed for money you did not actually spend?  Deep sigh.  Don't lie to me and don't f*** me over. 

Wednesday, March 19, 2014

Dance Heals the Soul

I've been in an emotional funk this week.  There are several things going on that I do not have control over.  I will not digress into details, but it's hard knowing something is going on that you don't like and there is absolutely nothing you can do but go one day at a time. 

Soooooo.... with that I went to dance class.  I had not been in some time.  When I walked through the door there was my African dance partner dressed in EXACTLY the same garb as myself.  What?  We did not even call each other.  We even wore our hair the same.  There is no confusing us for sisters as she is black as night and I'm as white as dirty snow.  She must have been picking up my vibes. 

I took my place next to her and we got our groove going.  We feed off of each others energy.  Pretty soon there were people looking in through the door and window.  Damn.  Not bad for a couple of middle age moms to draw a crowd. 


Little Whipper Snappers

I guess I've reached "that age" where the arrogance and ignorance of the younger generation irritates the shit out of me. They think they know.  Yeahhhhhhhhh about that.  I guess it's the timeless dance of the progression of generations.  We all thought we knew it all, too.  Deep sigh.  I think the tech giants have a silent ceiling for hiring based on age.  We've been put out to pasture. 

Well, if there is anything the young little whipper snappers understand all to well it is greed.  Little self-centered bastards all.  Anyway, before you diss us old farts into the sunset waiting for us to die so you can get your grubby little hands on our estate think of this.....

You have a tremendous financial opportunity.  The fastest growing number of tech users is the 50+ age crowd.   We have money.  Got your attention?  Thought so. 


Tuesday, March 18, 2014

Blister in the Sun


Another one for MRH.  I remember when you introduced me to this song in your parents' basement in 1986. 

Stand By Me


For MRH.  You do have friends like you did when you were 12 years old.  See you in April. 

Hotel California Russia Style

I'm allowing my imagination to run wild with the whereabouts of Snowden.  Last we heard he was in Russia.  Oh, I guess he appeared via television.  Big Deal.

I think Snowden created his own "Hotel California" hell. Russia.  It's a lovely place.  Anytime of year.  You can find it here.  He can check out any time he likes, but he can never leave.

I don't buy for one minute that Russia is the relief paradise he thought it was going to be.  I'm certain there is an exchange of information going on -- secrets for asylum.  Russians have ways of making him talk.  bwaaaaaaa  bwaaaaaaa

It's time to come home, Eddy, and face the music.  If you are the hero you think you are we will all celebrate you and I will be the first in line to kiss your feet.  Be the brave trail blazing revolutionary and don't wuss out and hide in another country.  That is if they will allow you to leave.

Eddy, you're too high profile to disappear once back in the USA.  You will have the ACLU and hordes of people surrounding you and supporting you.  If the black vans make you disappear and your body never found we will all know you were right -- and you died a hero.  At that point social revolution will rock Washington and the masses you claim to care about so much will actually have a fighting chance.  Grow a pair and come home.  Don't stir up shit and run away.

Your actions at the moment dictate that you are a coward and/or a traitor.  Please prove us wrong.

One More Thing on Privacy

Yeah, I know I've beaten this horse to death.  One more thing on our lack of privacy and I will STFU.  Want to know the true depths of privacy intrusion and tracking capabilities?  Just ask a woman going through a divorce. 

Malaysia Flight 370

Malaysia flight 370 just dropped off the radar.....and you all believed governments had the capacity to screen shot you picking your butt in the WalMart parking lot via satellite.  Such egocentric idiots we are.  Like we truly believe our own lives worth tracking by some evil enterprise. 

But wait!  We are being tracked!  Your cell phone company, internet browser and banking institutions collect information that you don't even want your own spouse to know.  Many volunteer it via posting constant updates via Facebook and Instagram. 

Tell me again how all of this personal information gets out there?  Oh..... YOU ALL POST IT YOURSELVES.   Besides, any self-respecting hack can get your personal information with just a few tries.  Give it up, people.   If somebody wants the goods on you it's only a few clicks away.

Moral of the story:   Lying is becoming more and more difficult for liars.  Pity. 

Monday, March 17, 2014

Snowden and Russia

Where is the media curiosity now that Russia is all puffed up like a rooster and acting aggressively thumbing their nose at the world?  Doesn't anybody put together that Snowden took political asylum in Russia and now Russia is invading Ukraine? 

Duh.

Of course Russia is feeling cocky.  Snowden sold us out.  Do you all still think he's a hero?  The media would have to retract the praises that were given; therefore, making the media reactionary fools with half the facts.   There is waaaaaaaaaaaaay more to this than the simplistic, unclassified hype created by some junior journalist trying to make a name for himself. 

There's a reason the intelligence community acts the way they do -- it's not to bust you for cheating on your spouse or bad mouthing the president.  They don't care about that.  They don't have time for that. 

Let me lay it on you all straight.  The world is NOT a nice place.  We are sheltered from much of what is really happening. 

Sunday, March 16, 2014

Dark Side of Motherhood

Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhh....  I'm about to let you all in on a dirty secret about motherhood.  Society portrays us all as so happy, loving, giving, cherishing, nurturing, blah, blah, blah, blah.  We are ranked up there with Mother Mary awaiting sainthood.  We are shown smiling while our life force is literally being sucked out from us constantly giving. 

We reach a point where we are sick of giving.  The constant demands of, whining, feeding, clothing, need, need, need, need, need and we have not even left the house to begin our day yet.  We have not even dealt with the demands and expectations of spouse, family, employer, society, etc. 

A private conversation with a friend revealed that she just wanted her freedom back.  She's sick of parenting.  She is not an evil person.  She is not an abusive, neglectful mother.  After a while there is no separation between mother and kid(s).  Mothers get lost and individuality fades into blurred boundaries.  We don't know where we end and our family begins.  Unfortunately, my friend has many years ahead of her before her kids reach adulthood. 

While I totally sympathize with her, I'm silently glad I stopped at two and my youngest is moving into adulthood.  I'm still young enough to have an enjoyable, strong second half. 




On the NSA, CIA, NGA, FBI

You all can put to rest your paranoia about the government tracking your every move.  Nobody but you cares if you get discovered that you're messing around with the PTA president and simultaneously doinking your secretary while your wife is delivering your third baby in the hospital.

A plane from Malaysia can disappear into thin air with passengers carrying stolen passports.  I guess government spying powers and constant tracking by some all-knowing satellite are not as intrusive as the media wants us to believe (what else would sell papers). 

Where is the private enterprise Google when we really need them?  They are the ultimate abusers in big brother monitoring and tracking.  Oh, they are too busy hosting porn sites and mail order brides while selling your browsing preferences to advertisers. 

Tuesday, March 11, 2014

Financial Betrayal

How many ways do I screw my spouse over?  Let me count the ways...

I think I've heard it all by this point.  Nothing shocks me.  Between myself, friends, and work associates, I've come across every type of marital betrayal imaginable.  Many times the victim-spouse has no clue what's going on and is crushed when the truth is revealed.  S/he had placed blind trust in the one person who was supposed to be your life mate and instead got a knife in the back. 

What's marriage for if you can't f*** over your spouse, take the money, and run off with somebody else?

The latest episode involves a colleague in the east bay.  He and his adorable wife had been married 25 years.  They both had good jobs and all the visible material possessions of upper-middle class suburban life. 

WRONG!

The wife had drained the bank accounts and now their two homes are in foreclosure.  They also have two kids in college.  Apparently, the husband had *no* idea she was spending money left and right on god only knows what.  Gambling?  Drugs?  Boy Toys?  See, he had placed that blind trust in his wife to take care of the financial responsibilities for the family.  I'm kind of skeptical that he claims he had no clue.  Would not the bill collectors be calling?  Would not notices come in the mail about delinquent house payments for months prior to the actual foreclosure?

Whatever.  None of my business.  Looking at this couple from the outside they appear to have it all together.  Only a few know they are half a step from the homeless shelter.  Damn.  They will win the Barbie and Ken best-dressed homeless people award. 


Monday, March 10, 2014

Theft Aboard the USS Bonhomme Richard

My son is deployed overseas on the USS Bonhomme Richard.  Life aboard the ship is monotonous, crowded, and grueling.  Time spent in the miniscule sleeping bunk is about as much privacy as one could expect under such conditions.  My son, prior to being deployed, went to Copperfield's here in Sonoma County and purchased himself a used copy of Dante's Inferno to pass the time.  He wanted to catch up on his reading.

I received an email today from him stating that somebody stole his copy of Inferno that he paid a whopping $2.50 for.

OMG!  I never thought I'd be pleased about theft -- especially from a shipmate, but that gives me hope for the revival of classic literature!  Somebody actually thought it WORTHY of stealing!  Now, pray God, let us hope it is being read.  

I'll go to Copperfield's and clean out their entire section of used classics.  I'll send the books with my son and tell him to strategically place them for purpose of being stolen;)





Sunday, March 9, 2014

Daylight Savings

...the only positive thing about daylight savings is that 5:00 comes an hour earlier;)
Skol!

Why Dance Matters

If this story to dance does not move you, you must be lacking a soul.  My kin will be bawling their eyes out at the end.  Here's to why the performing arts are important.

Saturday, March 8, 2014

Internal Revenue Service

Oh yeah, they like for you to take it internally alright.  The penetration is getting deeper and deeper each year.  TheIRS is no joke.  It's theirs. 

My beautiful Saturday was ruined by the buzz kill of finally finishing up my personal taxes for 2013.  I suppose I could have filed an extension, but I'd rather know the bad news first so I can prepare myself.

This year I wrote checks to both the feds and the state to the tune of thousands of dollars.  My stomach is still churning and I'm getting the taste of throw-up in the back of my mouth.  I suppose I could have created financial accounting tricks and shell games to soften the tax blow, but I *really* want to stay off the radar and refrain from raising red flags to any taxing authority.  Quite frankly, it's not worth the audit process. 

I don't mind paying taxes if it's wisely accounted for the good of the citizens -- it's waste, fraud, and greed that drive me up a wall. 

There's that throw-up taste again.

Friday, March 7, 2014

The Risk

Today I took a huge risk professionally.  I've been at my company for 25+ years.  During the time I've been with my employer I've been through deaths, births, marriages, divorces, graduations, baptisms, and you-name-it milestones with co-workers and associates.

Yes, we've gone from crayons to perfume.

I guess it's a sad statement to admit that last night I had a dream about a deceased associate.  I've been at my job too long...dreaming about deceased co-workers??????  Anyway, this deceased associate died about 4-5 years ago.  I had known him for the entire 25 years of my career as he was there when I first started.

In my dream I was talking to him.  I knew he was dead and I was a tad uneasy about holding a conversation with him but continued on just the same.  We were in a room with no furniture and he had a dog with him.  He seemed a tad agitated that he no longer had a physical body.  I tried to calm him by saying that his family was doing well.  He knew I was omitting information about his wife, who in realty is NOT doing well since his passing.  Instead, I shifted the focus of the conversation to his granddaughter.  End of dream.

Morning comes.  I was startled by the subject matter of this dream as it seemed so real.   I went about my day as usual.  My cell phone dinged with a text message.  It was a text from the dead associate's son thanking me for some information I had sent to him.

Here's where I took my risk.

I replied in my text that I had a dream about his deceased dad last night.  I went on to describe what he looked like, what his emotions were, and that he had this dog with him???  What was up with this dog?

I was ready to receive a return text stating that I was completely insane and that the Napa koo-koo wagon was waiting to give me a ride to Hotel NutCase.

It was the opposite.  The text I received in return was all about how I nailed his concerns about individual family members would fare after his death.  I was also told about the dog.  My associate had a dog he LOVED and he took the dog everywhere.  He and this dog were always together.  When my work associate died, the dog mopped around looking for him and eventually the dog died of a broken heart.

I knew nothing about the damn dog.

Understand that I work in an environment where only the physical world exists and anything seemingly ethereal ends up with a witch hunt where I would be burned at the stake.

Thursday, March 6, 2014

The Question

I'm going through a phase of trying to *really* know myself -- for better and for worse.  Today I met with a friend.  She knows me pretty well and where I'm at mentally.  She asked me a seemingly simple question that I drew a complete blank on.  Here's how it came about.

My friend and I are part of a group.  My friend asked me what it was about the individual members of this group of ladies that I connect with and what they get from my participation. 

I was stumped for an answer.  I had never thought about that.

I could easily identify what I got from the other group members... comrade, fun, humor, socializing, etc.  However, I never for an instant ever gave thought as to what I gave them.  My default response was blank and that I don't offer anything of value. 

It was an in-my-face example of how my thought process is always based on exporting my energy and never expecting to make a lasting impression on anybody.  For some reason, I don't think I'm worthy of it. 


Monday, March 3, 2014

Theme from Star Wars: John Williams


Yes, I did have the opportunity to see the Boston Pops perform the theme from Star Wars.  My fantasy is to be a part of the orchestra with John Williams conducting.  I used to occupy first chair flute/piccolo once upon a lifetime prior to kids and working full-time.  It's time to rejoin forces with fellow music geeks and rekindle my passion for live music.  I want the piccolo solo mid Star Wars theme.  I've already done it.  I just need to remember how.  I also tried playing the oboe and bassoon.  I sucked at double reed instruments (no pun intended). 

May the force be with you.

Sunday, March 2, 2014

Ukraine: Putin's World Stage

Is anybody just a bit concerned about Russia's Putin muscling his way into Ukraine?  I find the timing of this military maneuver just a bit curious as Putin waited until his beloved Olympic ego fest was over to carry out such a bold move.

I don't trust:  China, Russia, North Korea, Iran, and Mexico.

I'm not in anyway indicating that the United States is worthy of sainthood.  However, take a look at the population flow.  If living in the above named countries is so wonderful, why are they all trying to come to the United States?  Nobody is rushing their borders trying to get in.  It's the opposite.

Putin needs a penis implant or something so we call all admire and exclaim how big it is.  Maybe that will settle him down.

Bee Gees: Closet Fan

I'm a closet fan of the Bee Gees.  Yes, I realize that critics once claimed that if white bread could sing it would sound like the Bee Gees.  Ok.... so I'm a sucker for disco....always have been.  It's like admitting that you like velveta cheese.