Text Message Breakup

I think we all can relate.....rock on, Kelly.... you can't TEXT MESSAGE BREAK UP!

People of Facebook

I am going to start a blog featuring the "people of facebook."  Yes, it's a rip-off of the wildly popular 'people of walmart' website that has everybody projectile vomiting, but looking for more.  Perhaps a "people of facebook" website already exists.  I should search the internet and find out. 

My 'people of facebook' blog will feature guest entries from all my REAL friends venting their favourite posts from so-called "friends" bragging about their latest, overstated whatever. 

I already know Meesh will be my first guest entry.  I can see it now..... a picture of an aging barbie S.S. sprawled over a pool table with her troll-on-steroids-richard-simmons-clone boyfriend penning sappy 3rd grade love notes on her wall daily doting his undying love for her.    I shit you not, one recent "love" post on the wall proclaimed how their "love was like chili and onions .  Chili giving spice to their passion for each other, and onions making their eyes wet with emotion when they saw each other." 

How old are we?  Almost 50? 

Scour your facebook gag posts.  There will soon be a forum where they will be posted as the total attention-whore, jackasses they really are.  Revenge will be YOURS. 

Robo Responses

I'm learning..... whenever you pick on a corporation be wary of the team of robonauts trying to make your bitchy blog/complaint/whatever seem unimportant.  Corporations pay big bucks scouring the internet looking for negative remarks and combating them.  If you notice, most of my negative 'bitch' comments ONLY are attached to a corporate blog name/subject.  Nobody is following and blasting me because I'm just an angry bitch (which I am). I only get scathing comments on corporate jabs.   Just watch..... I will tag STAPLES, HOOTERS..... watch the paid,  robocoments follow....  go ahead... try to diss me.....  I can always DELETE you.....  laugh fest is on me.  Insert your assness here_______________________(your coward comment always anonymous, of course)

Shut the Hell Up!!!

A picture is worth a thousand words.  I saw this bumper sticker with a picture of Sarah Palin with the words 'shut the hell up' over her mouth.  It was on the back of a car today and laughed so hard I nearly fell over.  I want one....  However, is she did shut up, what would everybody make fun of???? 

Marin County

Just how many people who live in Marin County are actually FROM Marin County.  I would say that nowadays less than 15%.  Most are relocated New York Jews or other loud mouth, obnoxious, whiny, undesirables from other parts of the world who wanna be "in." 

Scientology: The Great Fuck-Off

Just *how* did I end up on Scientology's telemarketing list?  I've been on their hit list for some time, and I can't figure out why.  The scientologists have been harassing me via snail mail campaigns, and now telephone.  Hey, I never even *kissed* John Travolta or Tom Cruise. 

Imagine this.... you've all been there.... you're home minding your own business.  The telephone rings.  It's an area code you recognize, but not exactly sure who it is.  It could possibly be your cousin informing you of the family reunion plans.  You answer the phone.  Shit.  It's some ass pushing their religion/cause/whatever. 

Enter my inspiration for blog material.  My son is now home for the first time on military leave.  He has no tolerance for crap.  My son anwers the phone.  The conversation went something like this:

Son:  Hello?  Who is this?
Annoying Scietologist (A.S.):  May we speak with G?

Son:  What is this pertaining to?
AS:  I am with the Church of Scientology.

Son:  Take us off your soliciting list.  We don't want your brainwashing bullshit.  STFU and GTFO!!  Hail Anonymous!!!!!

At that point son confidently hung up the phone and went about ironing his uniform saying that I would not hear from them anymore.

Welcome home....

Independent Audit

I read again about another entity that has been ripped off by its own employees.  Here's a wake up call to all employers -- chances are your employees ARE really ripping you off.  WHY are they ripping you off?  The answers are as varied as the types of rip-off involved.  Still, the ultimate responsibility is the governing board and chances are none of the board members actually take the time required to properly oversee what's really hapenning on a day to day basis (much like our government).  This is where money mismanagement runs amok with everybody involved, but nobody is ever personally responsible. 

So, the board (or governing body or business) delegates their fiscal responsibility by hiring an "independent auditor" to do what they should be doing themselves.  The problem now is that the hired 'independent auditor' has NO clue to the true operations and dares not ask for fear of looking stupid and incompetent.  The 'independent auditor' prostitutes himself by slapping a seal of approval on a pile of shit he does not understand and other management lies.  Chances are in the 'independent auditor''s' favor the findings will not get challenged.  Talk about gambling. 

On the otherhand, the ethical auditor renders true reports to his findings, and asks questions that may appear stupid on the surface.  Chances are that the ethical auditor points out areas of weakness and problems.  The governing board does not want to deal with potential problems, so the ethical auditor gets fired because the 'board' is not being told what they want to hear.  A new 'independent auditor' then gets hired to gloss over gross mismanagement and render an 'official' report that all is well.

Everybody is happy until shit hits the fan.  Now it's the blame game.  Apply same principle to our any large pool of money or government agency.  The truth tellers get silenced and banished. 

Guest Entry from M: Why Facebook Makes Me Gag!!!!

My Minnesota friends and I all have a morbid facination with Facebook.  It's so easy to get material there and just have a field day with it.  My Minnesota homies and I all have a mutual friend named "S" and we all befriended "S" because of her sibling, who was in our graduating class. 

The five words or less version is that "S" is full of herself and has a doting boyfriend who posts gag worthy posts on her wall.  Here is the low-down as submitted by my Minnesota friend, M.   Here goes:

"S" is a running joke in our household. We also had a lot of laughs at her expense at T's cabin. The phoney ass sapville dialogue that goes on between her and her "MetroSexual" boyfriend, G,  is enough to gag a maggot. She must befriend every cashier, waiter, waitress and stranger she encounters. She has something like 4900 Facebook Friends. I can't defriend her because her pictures bring me such laughter. I feel sorry for her children, because she seems to spend so much time preparing herself for a trip to the gas station, when is there time for them?? But she is Super Mom and will tell everyone so. Here is one of the latest love notes from her "Knight and Shining Armour"------ -Good morning sexy. Babe roses of pink grow in my heart & they will never wither because they bloom every time I see your smile, hear your voice or just think of u' think of this as u look @ those pretty in pink like u roses. They r in fulll bloom like my lov 4 u. :) Hav a good day. Let's start saving 4 our next get away.. :) lov u! Xoxoxo~ g .

M went on to say....If "J" posted something that nauseating on my FB page I'd make him an appointment for the nut cottage.

Touche, M....  and that's why I  LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Door-to-Door

Please, PLEASE don't ring my doorbell selling anything. I'm happy with my religion, my vacuum cleaner works, and I really would rather not be annoyed. I'm just sitting home minding my own business. I suggest you do the same.

Theft Proof Car: The CleoTaurus

Introducing the theft-proof CleoTaurus. It's small, pink, and male thieves would not be able to find it if given a map.

Thanks, FlyWriter for the joke some time ago. The visual just happened to come around today;) Love ya!!!