People make fun of me with my witchy-woo-woo, but that is fine. I can take the ribbing because I know it is not mainstream. Part of my witchy-woo-woo are tarot cards. Over the years I have been given an assortment of tarot decks including a goddess deck and a spells deck. My favorite deck is my classic travel Rider deck. Yes, a tarot card reader has a relationship with the cards. Over time, it is just natural to form different relationships with different tarot decks.
Where am I going with this?
My husband's brother has always been a big, strong man. He is a retired Marin County CHP sergeant, and he is also a Marine Corp veteran who served in Vietnam. He is also an arsehole. He married a superBETCH (long story) and they had two kids together: superBETCH junior, and NiceGuy (who are now both in their 50's).
Long story short, my husband's brother and family (let's refer to husband's brother as CHP) was very absent from family throughout his adult life. CHP did not come around when his father was dying. CHP did not come around when his mother was dying. CHP did not come around when one brother was dying. CHP did not come around when his oldest sister was dying. I will not go into the details, but CHP and SuperBETCH pretty much dissed the extended family.
When my husband's mother died, CHP was not left anything in the inheritance because he never came around when their father was dying nor when their mother was dying. CHP's sister got it all (which is another long story as she was the one who actually dealt with it all).
Well, of course, CHP and superBETCH being the type of people they are, were all upset because they did not get anything. They shunned the rest of the family. There is a whole other lotta drama that goes along with this. The long-established pattern for the last 50+ years is that CHP and SuperBETCH are always angry at someone in the family for some reason and seethe about it.
TOXIC!
I have known for a while now that CHP was not in good health.....but.....the doctors kept stating there is hope if they try this treatment and that. It has been my hope that CHP would get better and reconcile with family before it is too late. We have invited CHP and SuperBETCH to our house for a BBQ, we have invited them for dinner, etc. Our invitations went ignored. We even went so far as to write a heart-felt letter stating how they are important to us and to talk to us about why we have been cut from their lives. Nothing.
About a month ago knowing that CHP was trying another healing approach, and also knowing my husband is upset over the unresolved relationship issue, I took out my Rider tarot deck and sat with that thought for a while. I really tried to hone in on CHP's energy.
After sitting with Rider deck concentrating on CHP's energy, I finally drew one card. It was X of Wands. The first thing any reputable tarot card teacher will tell you is to TRUST YOUR INTUITION of your feeling upon seeing the card drawn. Sure, there is the major and minor arcana and all sorts of labels to each card...but....the feeling you get when you see it is the most important.
What immediately struck me for the X of Wands and CHP's energy was extreme guilt, sadness and regret. It is heavy on him. The Wands suit in the Rider tarot represent the spiritual world and your soul's contract. Wands are a "meaning of life" suit. X represents the completion of conclusion on the path. I wrote in my journal that I knew CHP was not going to get better and he will die with regrets. I did not tell my husband because I did not want to put anything in his head that might not turn out to be true. I am a novice tarot reader.
Today we get the call from CHP's son, NiceGuy. NiceGuy informed us that CHP is now on hospice and they are sending him home from the hospital tomorrow to, well, ....um..... die. They give him 2 days to 2 weeks.
Unbeknownst to me, my daughter went to the hospital to see CHP today. She was met with a chilly reception from CHP's daughter, SuperBETCH Jr. CHP gestured for my daughter to come in despite SuperBETCH Junior's interference at the door. CHP was in tears knowing that he can't properly make amends and how important family is....CHP blew his chance. He is burdened with his regret. His soul contract is complete for this lifetime. He will have to wait until another lifetime to make amends.....assuming the universe sees right to afford him the opportunity.
CHP, who was once the epitome of a handsome, big, and strong man is now a shadow of his dying self. I hate to break it to all of you, but the same fate awaits for all of us. Get over yourselves. Get over your petty grudges and judgements. Love more and hate less. I can promise you will not regret that on your death bed.