Saturday, June 28, 2008

White and Nerdy







Instead of the usual bitter rant, today I'm posting photos of my day at Faire. This one was near Sacramento. I *love* all the different types of people these events tend to attract. I even treated myself to a henna tattoo on my hand.

Friday, June 27, 2008

Mugged by Charities

Another thing that completely pisses me off (yes, there are still subject matters I have not ranted about yet) are the charities that use your employer to "mug" you. You know the ones.... United Way is especially guilty.

They team up with corporate management and devise little contests and schemes between departments to see who can raise the most money. They want to deduct money from your paycheck. They use your boss and coworkers into trying to coerce you to giving more than you can afford. Never mind if you give to other charities that have not gone capitalism/commercialism yet. Never mind if, for whatever reason (and it's really nobody's fucking business), you decide not to donate cash to ANY charity. Never mind if you already tithe to your church. These people want you to give MORE and they want you to give it to THEM.

Giving to charity (or not) is extremely personal. Here's to United Way and these other corporations that disguise themselves as "charities": Get out of my face, and get out of my wallet.

Here's to my employer's Do-Gooders Team: If you think donating to whatever is so fuckin' worthwhile, go ahead and donate YOUR entire paycheck, including what you have already calculated what you think my portion should be, and leave me alone.

Thursday, June 26, 2008

Keep On Poppin' 'em Out: The Human Pez Dispenser


Right up there on the annoyance scale with the "Keep Tahoe Blue" stickers slapped on the back of extra-polluting vehicles, are what I like to call "score cards" etched on the back of extra-polluting vehicles that usually accompany the "Keep Tahoe Blue" stickers.

These "score cards" that appear on the back of mini-vans and SUV's are like little depictions that fighter pilots put on their planes as they peg off their enemy. However, in this case, these score cards depict how many kids they have popped out in the cute-sy form of stick people (see above photo).

Personally, I really don't care to know that the driver's leg acts like a fuckin' human Pez dispenser that pops out a baby every time she lifts it up. I don't need to see it while I'm driving. Ewwwwww.....

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Indian Gambling Casinos

Ooops... I suppose I shouldn't refer to them as lowly gambling casinos, but rather I should refer to them as the more politically palatable "Native American Economic Advancement Program."

Call it what you will, but it's still a gambling saloon filled with suckers who are down on their luck betting their entire weekly paycheck from WalMart of $154.67 hoping to win big to make their paycheck stretch far enough to add their dependents onto the company health plan without defaulting on their mortgage or rent.

The arguments used to guilt whites into complying with mega Vegas-style casinos awkwardly plopped into residential neighborhoods is that they drudge up all of the past history of how the Europeans stole the land from the Native Americans. Now whites OWE it to the Native Americans to give the whites a little bit of their own medicine: Come into the occupied neighborhood, mow down everything in sight, add large, ugly, unsightly buildings that consume massive amounts of natural resources, and don't give any consideration if the neighbors complain.

Well, I do have sympathy for what the Europeans did to the Native Americans. However, I still feel sorry for the Native Americans because they are still being manipulated and duped by the gambling industry that is predominately run by the mafia. They're trying to build a casino here in Sonoma County in Rohnert Park. I never knew so many Native Americans had Italian surnames.

The arguments posed for building the casino is that we need to repay our debt to the Natives. Somehow, I don't feel that a resource-sucking mega casino is proper pay off. "Oh, the Natives live in poverty and they NEED the money in order to survive."

Bullshit. It's a complete sell-out. If it's really about preserving their culture and lifestyle, the entire proposed casino sight should be sectioned off like a reservation where the Natives are allowed to live like they did 200 years ago in complete peace without interruption from any modern technologies or interference from whities.

Oh, but where would Chief Got-a-Lot-of-Bucks and Chief Pisano get their materialistic riches from???

Passing it On


A while back my dear friend in England, CG, passed on the "Excellent Blog" award to me. I have been sitting on it for sometime because I wasn't quite sure who to pass it along to. Well, the decision has been made...

I am going to pass it along to my dear friend in Northern California, Fly Writer. Fly Writer is not only a talented writer who is working on a book at the moment, but she recently fulfilled a dream of obtaining a pilot's license and has a sincere passion for all things that take flight. She is celestial, but down to earth. She is amazingly intelligent, but not conceited.

Her blog is not on a regular schedule, but I promise that whatever/whenever she posts it will not only timeless, but a good soul-searching read. I hope this inspires Fly Writer to keep on posting with more frequency, because, damn it, we need more of people like her in this world. Check her out at www.suesmindflight.blogspot.com.

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Jonas Brothers or Beatles



Familiar mop-top hairdos, girls screaming and running after them, and similar scenarios in their videos makes me think this is Disney's lame attempt to relive the Fab Four via the Jonas Brothers. Granted, there are only three of them in the current Jonas Brothers band, but the rip-off is blatant.

If you don't believe me, watch a few of the Jonas Brothers videos and see the similarities in the dress and even the snowball fight (HELP!) that was replicated from the *original* fab four. One of the Jonas brothers tries awfully hard to look like George Harrison in a grey suit and wispy, long-ish hair. I guess today's music is so shitty, they have to reach for stuff 45 years old and revive it. What an insult to the Beatles who were true originals and not trying to live out and cash out on their parents' failed dream at stardom for themselves and to commercialize the hell out of themselves.

Does Disney think we're so fucking stupid and forgetful that we can't see what they're doing by their recycling of ideas? If imitation is the truest form of flattery, my apologies to the Beatles. Let's see..... Jonas Brothers: Subsidiary of Brain-Dead Disney Marketing Machine,
OR
the Beatles who are true artists, thinkers, and social reformers.... hmmmmmm

Smoke Gets In Your Eyes


HELP!!! We're all choking on smoke! I must certainly be in hell because there is fire all around me. This picture was taken today at a local deli while I was waiting for my sandwich to be made. The hillside is gray with smoky air. This picture was taken with my crappy little camera on my cell phone, so it doesn't really show how smoky the skies are. My car is covered with ash and that funky orange shit they drop from the sky trying to put the fires out. Breathing is getting difficult. I feel sorry for those with asthma.

Sunday, June 22, 2008

Reduce Your Stress: But We Don't Really Mean It

Every bit of media these days is lecturing us high strung, overworked Americans on "How to Reduce Your Stress."
(yawn)

We've all heard the tired recommendations of "taking a bubble bath" and "taking yoga classes" and "taking several uninterrupted breaks during the day."

We're told that even corporate America is wise to "rejuvenating the soul" and touts the benefits of a refreshed workforce that is more productive, healthier, and happier.

What a load of crap. It's all lip service.

Every day the the American worker is asked to put ten pounds of shit into a five pound bucket -- and HURRY UP!

You tell me how to "take several uninterrupted breaks during the day" when your e-mail is overflowing, the inbox on your desk is overflowing, the phone is ringing, and a report is due by end of business, AND there are several personnel issues to content with in order to making the deal go through. No real vacation has been on the calendar for years, and when you finally do take a vacation, they're calling your cell phone bugging you.

"Take several uninterrupted breaks during the day" the corporate assholes tell us because they want us to be "happy" "productive" and "they care about our emotional well-being."

Sure. Right.

The minute somebody does, they're labeled as lazy and out the door they go.

Thursday, June 19, 2008

Hang Up and Drive


Effective July 1, 2008, Californians will no longer be able to use a cell phone while driving. Well, that's not exactly 100% true, Californians will have to use a "hands free" device if we are to use our cell phone while driving. You know how he need the other hand free to flip off other drivers.

I'm sorry, but I'm sick of the government trying to legislate common sense and basic manners.

I'm sure all of you have witnessed rude, obnoxious behavior on the roadways. People who run red lights because THEIR time is more important than yours. People who won't wait their turn at intersections, and reckless driving at ridiculous speeds showing complete disregard for anybody but themselves. They don't care if they're endangering others' lives for the sake of saving themselves a couple of extra minutes.

I just want to take a baseball bat to those rude, inconsiderate drivers and just beat the holy hell out of them until they're nothing but a bloody pulp. Then I'll take the bat and smash up their car until every window is broken, and all sides are completely smashed in.

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Summer Evening



The long summer days segway into gorgeous evenings. As evening was approaching, I went outside to water some plants and I was silently reflecting on all of the beauty all around this time of year, and usually take for granted. My roses are in full bloom, and the garden is producing an abundance of fresh vegetables. The humming birds were buzzing, and the finches were chirping. There was a very gentle breeze that seemed to whisper to me, "Enjoy your life and take in all the beauty around you."

As I was finishing watering the plants, I was getting ready to go on the evening walk with my daughter and my dog. The phone rang. It was my mother telling me that my Uncle Jim had just died.

Monday, June 16, 2008

Clean up Your Dog Shit


I love dogs. It's their owners I despise. Nothing ruins the day faster than accidentally stepping into a steaming, fresh pile of dog shit. You know the owner of said poo stopped along the walk long enough to witness what his pet was doing, and the lazy fucking bastard didn't even clean it up. Or, the fucking bastard lets his dog run loose all day long shitting where ever he pleases and terrorizing the neighborhood.

Don't even get me started on the barking at 2:00 am.

I think I'll start carrying around extra bags and when I witness a negligent pet owner allowing his dog to shit wherever, I'll scoop it up, and run after him saying, "Excuse me! You dropped something."

When he opens up his hand for me to give him what he 'dropped' I will at that point plop the fresh, steaming pile of dog shit in his palm of his hand and silently walk off.

Friday, June 13, 2008

Eeyore


I know of a guy named Eeyore. The poor bastard doesn't even know he has the world by the balls. He's had the world handed over to him on a silver platter, and he still turns his nose up at it. He's miserable and cranky. His pisses and moans. He can't see the life of privilege he's been born into. In my eyes, that makes him poor.

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Pain at the Pump


Gas prices are about $4.50 per gallon here in my area of California. Ironically, some nation's largest oil refineries are located less than 30 miles from here in Martinez. Go figure.

I've heard talk that gas will top $5.00 per gallon before summer's end. I can't decide if I should be completely pissed off or elated: Pissed off because BushCo is raking in as much cash as he can for his oil cronies and himself as he ticks off the days on his calendar until he is finally evicted from the White House. Elated because maybe, just *maybe* people will finally realize how much crap and pollution we're pumping into the environment while making our enemies richer than their wildest dreams.

Whatever your stance, we all could do a little less driving and a little more walking. We all could use practice planning trips and creating carpools. We can combine errands to reduce not only pollution, but alleviate traffic congestion as well.

Is it all really that bad?

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Ghostly Weird Stuff


There is a lot of activity in our house that can't be traced as being 'human' activity. Different cameras have captured intriguing pictures, especially in the front living room and also in the kitchen area. More than one person has told me of hearing foot steps coming down the hall and seeing movement, but nobody is there. My husband, who does NOT believe in any ghost stuff, experienced feeling somebody standing behind him and sensing movement, but when he turned around, nobody was there. Whoever/whatever it is, I don't think it's a mean spirit. It's certainly not evil.

A Little Bit of Thow Up

Are there certain people you deal with that makes the throw-up rise in the back of your throat? I have a personal list of about six people. I may seem like a complete bitch on this blog, but I seldom open my mouth or complain unless the fucker really deserves it.

One guy I deal with at work suffers from the Hitler complex. He suffers from delusions of grandeur and thinks he's the second coming of Christ. He's a total asshole, and then can't figure out why people are constantly pissed off at him. He just doesnt' GET IT. Sadly, he's the only member of his fan club.

Friday, June 6, 2008

Valley Girl


As my 20 year-old pointed out this is the 'Latin' of Valley Speak. Nobody actually speaks this anymore, but when heard, it is completely understood and serves as the root language to current California speak.

For us original Valley speakers, "Barf Out.... Gag me with a Spoon"

Thursday, June 5, 2008

Technology Overload

Ever notice these days everybody's got their face in front of some sort of screen? I should talk, because I have my face in front of a screen right now. We have televisions, computers, monitors, etc. We see more screens than people in a given day anymore.

Today when I walked into the local Lucky's grocery store to pick up a couple of items, they had several large television monitors hanging at various locations throughout the store, and each was set to a loud volume. Episodes from the food network appeared on one of the monitors, another monitor was showing the store's weekly specials. The background MUZAK was competing with the monitors, and everything else was interrupted by the loud beeping of the scanners at the cash registers. To top it all off, the annoying computerized voice coming from the self-checkout telling people, "Unrecognized item in bagging area, please ask for assistance" pushed me over the edge.

I was so stressed out by the time I left by the noise from all the techno-crap I sat in my car for a good five minutes in complete SILENCE in order to regroup myself. No wonder I hate shopping at Lucky and I avoid it like the plague.

Wednesday, June 4, 2008

Die Yuppie Scum

I was chit-chatting with a lady about a week ago. She was a long-time Sonoma County resident who was lamenting the changes that have taken place in the last 15 years. She whole-heartedly agreed with me: DIE YUPPIE SCUM!

See, we're being invaded by ex-Marinites and other Bay Area home equity refugees turning our once agricultural, homey, small-town culture that was once dominated with feed stores, diners, and guys wearing farmer overalls and a feed cap into a fucking string of over-priced boutiques with guys wearing Ralph Lauren shirts, loafers without socks, and filling parking spaces downtown with European cars with a brag statement around the license place bracket like: UCLA Grad, Jaguar Marin, or some other lame shit. Why don't they just print a generic license plate bracket for these assholes that states, "I think I'm better than you" and be done with it?

YUPPIE SCUM ARE RUINING OUR COUNTY! If you don't believe me, go to the town of Sonoma and talk to the old time locals.

Sunday, June 1, 2008

The Home Party Sales Lady

There is a woman I know who invites me to at least one "home party" per month. Items being peddled range from food stuffs, cosmetics, clothing, jewelry, etc. She is a pleasant woman, but I would rather spend time with her when I don't feel obligated to bring along my checkbook, which has yet to happen.

I've just stopped responding to the invitations that require payment for my presence as I view them as just another annoying sales call. The Home Party Lady called me on my cell phone and left a message wanting to know if I was planning on coming to yet another one of her home sales parties. I was on the east coast at the time I received her message and up to my armpits in work matters. I didn't respond.

I don't mind attending a home sales party once in a while. I think we've all been suckered into hosting one at some point in our lives. However, there comes a time when I feel my friendship is being used. The Home Party Sales Lady has definately crossed that line.