Child Abuse

I'm not sure what the exact definition of child abuse is as there are many forms.  Kids look to their parents for guidance, stability, and nurturing.  All kids hold their parents on a pedestal whether or not they are deserving.  Kids inherently trust their parents to protect them and look after their best interests -- even if kids really don't know what their best interests are just yet. 

Therein lies the rub.

How many kids have gotten beaten "for their own good."  How many kids have been humiliated, name called, etc.,  by their parents thinking that it will somehow make the kids behave as parents think they should? 

True story.  I am now housing a kid who is afraid to go home.  Report cards (progress reports) came out and the kid is terrified because there is something less than an A.  OMG!!!  The kid had all A's except for one lousy B+.  It's not even final grading yet, just a progress report.  As I type this the kid is locked in my bathroom crying hysterically after a tearful conversation with mom on the cell phone.  Are the parents physically abusive?  No, but the psychological abuse is just as damaging.  I can overhear through the phone receiver the put-downs, insults, threats of disowning, etc. 

.....but it's "all for their own good".......  yeah, right.   This is not the first time this kid has been subject to standards only a demigoddess could live up to.  So the kid is human.  So maybe the kid isn't perfect.  Maybe the kid did not live to YOUR standards.  I'm not saying that kids should have carte blanche to run amok.  However, all people -- especially developing kids -- need to know you love them unconditionally.  Smashing their fragile self esteem and destroying their foundation of stability and trust they look for in their parents will do nothing but make all the therapists' appointment books full in the future. 

Be careful what you say to your kids.  After all, you are the experienced adult and should know better.  Nobody thrives and grows on humiliation and shame.