Mom and Dad

Oh yes.... parents can be a challenge to understand.  I guess that's the payback for enduring our teen rebellion years and other fun parenting episodes that nearly pushed them over the edge.

Mom and dad are retired.  They have lots of time on their hands.  Bless them.  What cracks me up is how they occupy themselves and what thoughts they allow to permeate their heads and dwell upon. Ready to laugh and cry?  I'm seriously thinking of basing a television sit-com much like "All in the Family" off them.   Here goes. 

Episode 1:  
Mom and Dad live across the street from some property owned by the City of Minneapolis.  They use that publicly owned property to grow flowers on it -- they then sit on their front porch and chastise people who pick the flowers. 

Episode 2:  
Dad and Mom's neighbor behind them is not into yard work.  I guess I can't say I blame the neighbor as it's not my favorite thing, either.  Yes, the back yard is overgrown and would take a machete to cut through along with avoiding obstacles such as the lawn mower that has been sitting there broken/dormant for what appears to be several seasons as the rust indicates. 

Is it an eyesore?  Absolutely.  However, to view the eyesore requires standing on a bench to peer over the privacy fence.  Sorry, but although mom and dad don't like how the neighbor neglects yard work they would not notice it if they did not stand on the bench to peer over into it.  It's like peeping into your neighbor's kitchen window to criticize the filthy kitchen.  I think it would be on the up and up (and really humorous) if mom and dad said to the neighbor, "Hi.  We got a bench and peered over the privacy fence into your backyard.  We don't like the state it is in.  Being we obviously have nothing better to do than to snoop and render judgment, we thought we'd offer our services for mowing, weeding, and hauling." 

Episode 3:  
Despite their pious claims to respect privacy and not being nosy, they keep tight tabs on the comings and goings of neighbors.  Taking out the trash outside of neighbors' usual routine sparks wild curiosity on their part.  God help the neighbor who has an unfamiliar car parked in the driveway. 

Episode 4: 
The ethnicity (or perceived ethnicity) of everybody they come into contact is used in casual conversation.  Jew, nigger, towel-head, slant eye, half-breeds, etc., and such are labels freely verbalized.  

Episode 5: 
They argue and bicker about EVERYTHING.  Granted, some of the arguments are humorous but the overall dialogue between mom and dad consists of different assessments of events, memories, and what the current temperature outside is. 

Episode 6:  
Praise the glory and necessity of labor unions and lamenting about their dwindling existence but shop for the lowest possible price on everything.  The union price will *never* be the least expensive. 

Episode 7:
Everything is a government conspiracy -- including flu shots.

Summary:  I could go on and on but I'll stop now.  I'm sure my parents have gourds of material they could use to write a comic tragedy about me and my life.  I'm willing to share my profits if they will reciprocate;)