Jesus and Ray's Tires

Did an impromptu trip to northern Minnesota for a girls weekend at the cabin on Spirit Lake near Mille Lacs.  Yes, I'm *still* friends with ladies I went to kindergarten with.  Betches!!!!!

Which brings me to humor that Hollywood writers are so desperately trying to capture.  Here's the scenario.  My best-buddy, TYD, picks me up at the airport when I land in Minneapolis and we head to best-buddy JLB's house in where I was going to spend the night.  Let it be known right here and now that we three have known each other since before we could even talk.  We have UNFILTERED words and communication between the three of us.

We get to JLB's house and it's the typical Minnesota "hello."  People come from out of the wood work when alcohol is open to shoot the breeze a bit.  It does not matter if they really know you or not.  Californian's need to take the "neighborhood" friendliness page out of the Minnesota book. 

Which leads me to Jesus and Ray.

One of JLB's neighbors came over to shoot the bull with us.  He works for a tire distributor.   He was lamenting that he should really go home and prepare his grill for the giant weenie roast he had to do in La Crosse, Wisconsin the next day.  OK.  Right there is enough material for low-grade comedians to run with.  It did not stop there.

Mr. Tire Distributor went onto to gush about the attributes of one of his clients, J&R Tires.  Hmmmmm what does J&R stand for???  TYD and I were told by Mr. Tire Distributor that it stood for "Jesus and Ray Tires."
The Californian in me automatically assumed some Mexican dude named Jesus and some Gringo named Ray opened up shop in Wisconsin selling tires. 

I was immediately corrected.

Ray is a very religious, Christian kind of guy.  The "J" stands for Jesus.  Jesus and Ray are in business together.  Really.

WTF?????  I thought this kind of shit only happened on sit-com episodes.  Granted, the wine has been flowing.  TYD, JLB, and myself are RUTHLESS in situations like these.  Mr. Tire Distributor walked into a snake pit.  He had no clue what was coming next.

We could not help ourselves.  We asked how Jesus signed the business partnership agreement.  Does Jesus disappear without explanation for three days every so often?  Wow!!!  No wonder the tires hydroplane so well -- they really DO walk on water.   How many dependents does Jesus claim on his taxes?  How does Jesus sign checks or other financial disbursements?  How is Jesus filed under the Secretary of State so legal correspondence can be delivered?  What if Jesus wants out of the business partnership?  Does Jesus own the controlling shares of company stock? 

What made us pee our pants laughing was that Mr. Tire Distributor was stone cold serious.  That made it all even more humorous. 

I hope your weenie roast in LaCrosse, WI was a success!!!!