I somewhat reluctantly joined Facebook about 9 months ago or so. It's a double-edged sword. On the upside I am able to connect with lots of people at once, and on the downside I am able to connect with lots of people at once.
Here are things that totally piss me off about Facebook:
1. Status postings that make me want to gag, like, "Joe and I are celebrating 17 years of wedded bliss today."
Who gives a fuck. Everybody but you knows that Joe is having an affair with the barista from Starbucks. Maybe that is what is making marriage tolerable for him to your fat, demanding, whiny, obnoxious ass. I guess ignorance really is bliss.
2. The creeper ex-boyfriend. There was a reason why the relationship ended when I was 18. I don't think that has changed.
3. People who post their status every 30 minutes. That is what Twitter is for.
4. People who post cryptic, tecnho-jargon in their posts. OK. So you're a fuckin' computer geek and I am a complete dumb ass. Enough.
5. The "How Well Do You Know Joe/Jane" quizzes. This one really pisses me off. I don't need to take some lame online quiz to determine the depth of my friendship with somebody. My real friends are the ones I have seen through many, MANY... and I mean MANY life challenges. We know where we stand with each other. No stupid online quiz would ever even come close. Looper, Mich, CG, and Flywriter immediately come to mind. You know who you are. PM and SY, you know who you are, too.
6. The "Join My Cause" invitations. Unless it involves free beer on a Friday or Saturday night, count me out.
7. People who post pictures while they are on vacation. This is another one that really pisses me off. They will post such shit as, "Joe and I are embarking on an 8 day cruise to Mexico. Here is a picture of our ship cabin."
Needless to say, they will spend 7 of the 8 days doing the technicolor yawn kneeling to the porcelain god in their ship cabin from Montezuma's Revenge or too much tequila. You be the judge.
8. Profile pictures that defy the laws of gravity. Honey, we all know you had a boob job after high school. We don't need to be reminded. You're not fooling anybody.
9. Friend requests from people you don't really remember. I suppose we had adjacent lockers in 7th grade. Whatever.
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2 comments:
Have I told you lately that I love you? :-)
Seriously....
And I love you too!
The thing I hate most on Facebook are posts about babies. Am sorry, but it is true. The ones that say "My incredible baby girl just ROLLED OVER!! Mommy is so proud of you honey." Or "My bootiful boy just gained an ounce! You are so clever, darling!" And then you get all the comments from besotted friends or sycophantic ones, endorsing the genius behaviour of said tot. I SWEAR TO GOD I was NEVER that FATUOUS about my kids except in the privacy of my own home!!
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