Telemarketers

Yes, CG, I really do stuff junk mail credit card offer return envelopes with garbage from my office waste basket and mail it back to them. In fact, your comment inspired me to consider boxing up bulky old office equipment such as expired printers, fax machines, and whatever else I find in the depths of the closets and tape their postage-paid envelope to the front and give it a proper send-off at their expense. Whew! Let THEM dispose of it all. They've certainly asked me to dispose of more than my fair share of garbage over the years. Time to turn the tables, don't you think?

Which brings me to the subject of telemarketers. I allow myself to have fun with them as well -- it depends on my mood. If it's a survey call, I ask how long the survey takes. The person on the other end will say about 10-15 minutes. I then tell them that my time is worth $225 per hour, and if they'd like to pay me for the time it takes to answer their silly questions, then I'm in. They usually hang up.

The other response I play with is that I pretend I'm a mentally "challenged" person. I will mutter incoherently into the receiver, "Mamma? Is that you? My diaper needs changing and my ba-ba needs refilling. Are you on your way home?" Dead Silence on the other end.

Or, if I'm feeling just down-right bitchy, I will just scream into the phone at the top of my lungs, "FUCK OFF AND LEAVE ME ALONE!"