The Club

I never thought I would live to this day - I've joined 'the club.'  I'm about to be initiated into the Empty Nest Club.  The past 25 years have been completely devoted to my kids.  My secondary role  has been school and work.  Needless to say, I've not had much of a social life.  I don't even know how to relax.  I feel I must be constantly doing something....  laundry, dishes, cooking, paying bills, pruning the garden, helping with homework, dentist appointments, teacher conferences, and on and on and on and on.  Add to the list that my house is a refugee camp for lost teens and animals. 

It's all coming to a crashing halt. 

For the first time in a long, long time I get to be free of whiny toddlers.  I'm free of preschoolers drawing on my walls with a crayon and dumping baby powder in my fish tank (true story).  I'm free of temper tantrums in grocery stores.  I get to actually complete a sentence while speaking without a small child pulling on my shirt hem.  I can cook meals without one kid clinging to my leg and the other on my hip. 

Does it make me a complete bitch that I'm loving the sound of silence?  I was speaking with a friend the other day (uninterrupted - ahhhhhhhh simple pleasures) and she also mentioned that she does not like being around noisy kids when she's at the lake and would prefer to be in an 'adult only' section.  We're not cold bitches, it's just that we've paid our dues (meaning we've mindfully raised our kids with never a moment for ourselves) and we are liking our newly found freedom of not having to deal with the responsibility, and actually get to relax completely and enjoy without having one eye on kids.  Finally.  It's about US.  I've been initiated into the Empty Nest Club. No more Barney.  No more Rug Rats.  No more Power Rangers.  No more Nicelodeon or Disney Channel (thank goddesses).  No more peanut butter and jelly sandwiches with the crust cut off served with macaroni and cheese. 

My kids are now at the age where I get to have conversations on an adult level.  We get to debate politics, religion, etc.  I'm proud of them as I feel they have a solid value base - they truly have compassion for fellow humans.  They feel confident to question long-held beliefs by our society.  They have self-esteem, but not arrogance nor cockiness.  

Payoff.  It's been 25 years coming.  I'm due for peace, quiet, and time alone.  I've raised my kids  and other orphans I've taken in to display common courtesy for all humans.  It takes a lot of energy to *really* raise kids.  I never popped them out like a pez dispenser, nor like a product on an assembly line. 

Now I'm at the lake with my friend on a floaty with cocktail in hand.  Keep your screaming, obnoxious kid out of my immediate space and disturbing the peace we've earned.  We've paid our dues.  The old adage "children are to be seen and not heard" makes perfect sense.