Friday, August 24, 2012

I Hate Camping

If you ever notice, only city slickers enjoy going camping.  Us hicks who grew up shitting in corn fields, swatting mosquitoes, and came in from the fields at dusk after toiling all day sweaty, dirty, sunburned and tired loathe the thought of volunteering for more. 

I love nature - please don't get me wrong - but I appreciate a flushing toilet, electricity,  and a mattress to sleep on free of insects and critters. 

Camping is just so much WORK.  You have to pack, unpack, and set up.  You have to cook your meals using rinky-dink cookware over an open flame or camp stove.  You then need to lug dirty cookware and dishes to wherever to wash, dry, and put away.  What to do with leftovers?  There's no fridge and just pray to god the ice in the cooler did not melt completely.   After all of that you get to shit in a dirt hole and sleep on the lumpy ground only to be awakened at 3:00 AM by a screeching, scratching racoon.  Are we having fun yet?  NO!!!!!!!!!!!!

When it's over you have to tear down, clean, pack, and put away.  Not my idea of a vacation.  I'm not a wimp.  I will get down and dirty with the best of them.  However, come evening give my my hotel room and a cafe where I will not have to lug food, prepare it, clean up, and put away (and use a dirt hole as a bathroom). 

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