Friday, July 21, 2017

Freaking Out People I Work With

I don't mean to freak people out.  I just do.  I try to put on a normal face to the world, but I'm anything but.  I'm a freak.

It happened again the other night when I was having cocktails at the bar with my co-workers and spouses.  We were all more than 1/2 buzzed and I was chatting with Gag's wife.  I don't even remember how we got on the subject, but out of the sheer blue sky I randomly guessed and blurted out Gag's wife's birthday.  Her jaw dropped and wanted to know how I knew. 

I don't know how I knew.  I've been trying to figure out how it happens all my life.

She started yanking on Gag's arm and saying, "Honey, she guessed my birthday and there's no way she would know," and excitedly continued on how she has never experienced a psychic moment before. 

I could see Gag immediately slump in his chair, arms crossed, and he turned his baseball hat backwards. His energy was trying to run away, but he couldn't. He sat there in his chair. I guess Gag never told his wife on how I caught him lying on an affidavit for financing for a client who did not qualify.  How did I know?  I just did.  I had a gut feeling.  I never told Gag how I put the pieces together and busted him.  He thinks I have a legion of spies everywhere.  I don't. 

Men are scared shitless of me once they figure out they can't bullshit me.  At this point freaking people out is a quaint hobby of mine.  Back now to the bar where we were having drinks.  I put my elbow on the table, chin in my hand, and leaned forward looking deep into Gag's eyes with a smirk on my face.  It made him even more uncomfortable because I knew he was wondering what else I knew that he was trying to keep secret.  Gag visibly squirmed in his seat.  I find that women are intrigued when I have a psychic hit, and men are scared.  There's nothing to be scared of, guys.  Just don't lie to me and everything will be fine. 

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