Artists as Slave Labor

Of course I did not coin the term 'starving artist.'  I did not coin the term 'real musicians have day jobs' either.  Believe it or not, I'm sticking up for musicians and artists because their talents are taken advantage of and exploited.  Everybody expects them to work for free.  It's ironic that the biggest offenders of the exploitation are usually Tesla driving, tree-hugging, fair trade, hairy armpit, McMansion owning, Bernie Sanders loving fraudulent socialists (cough, cough, people from Marin or....relocated to Marin).

Here's the dialogue.

SCUMMI (Socially Conscious Until My Money Involved):  Hey, I started a Save the Whales and Kids non-profit organization (in reality just needed a tax loophole to launder money).  We are coordinating our fundraiser.  In order to woo donations I'm going to pitch at people I think super rich and important to puff my ego and climb some rungs on the social ladder making it took like I care about the environment and starving tots in Micronesia while I drive my $100,000 automobile and lop off a hillside for my obnoxiously large, grandiose house for my family of 3,  I need some REALLY cool artwork done on the brochure and advertising bits.  You are a talented artist.  Can you help out?

ARTIST:  Ummmmm... I dunno.  I'm working three jobs to make ends meet while looking for a roommate who is not a complete psycho to share my 400 square foot closet-converted-into-apartment, and my time is kind of limited at the moment.

SCUMMI:  Really?  This could be awesome for you!  Think of the EXPOSURE you will get when Big Shot sees your name on the pieces as the creator.  This could be a BIG BREAK for you.

ARTIST:  I just don't know if I'd find the resources to do a good job.  My art supplies are lacking as I have not had money to replenish them due to car issues.  I had to plunk down a wad of money for repairs.  Also, my health insurance has doubled this past year.  I've had to choose between art and survival.

SCUMMI:  Wow.  Bummer (looks over shoulder at his shiney $100,000 car parked in front of organic-fair trade coffee house where they are meeting).  Tell you what, Artist.  I can throw a couple of tickets to the event in for yourself and a friend to attend.  Does that sweeten the pot for you?

ARTIST:  (thought bubble - why would I want tickets to event where I would have to spend money I don't have to buy clothes just to attend?  I'd also have to pay bridge tolls and parking -- assuming my car that is barley clunking along and held together with duct tape can whether the trip.  They already want me to do this for free).  Yeah, I know getting in front of Big Shot could be an opportunity, but in reality it just doesn't pay the rent and the eviction notice is coming because I'm already behind.

SCUMMI:  (of course - does not offer to buy art supplies or chip in a months rent but silently sits and stews that ARTIST could POSSIBLY turn up his nose at what SCUMMI thinks is the opportunity of a lifetime).   Well, I was hoping to draw on your talent to make the world a better place -- no pun intended (gets up and gives ARTIST a jolly chuckle with an almost slap on the back.  It's foreshadowing to the knife in the back that is sure to come should ARTIST take SCUMMI up on his offer). 

ARTIST:  (finally has had enough)  Listen here, SCUMMI.  You would not dream of asking your mechanic to work on your car for free, a painter to paint your house for free, or a neighborhood kid to even mow your lawn for free.  Why do you think it's ok to ask ME to work for FREE?  Oh, I get it.  You're a user!!!!!  Go exploit somebody else.  Want to make the world a better place?  Put YOUR money where your MOUTH is and actually PAY people a dignified fee for the services they provide for you instead of milling it though your bullshit non-profit so YOU can claim a tax deduction because your income already measures on the obnoxious scale.