Happy New Year!

Happy New Year! What does it all mean? Well, your guess is as good as mine. Here are my stupid-ass predictions for 2011. Check back in again December 31, 2011 to see if I'm on target or not.

1. Politicians will lie (no DUH);

2. Unemployment will remain high (who wants to hire a bunch of fat, stupid whiners when sweat- shop 12 year olds overseas work for pennies per day without complaining?);

3. Housing will continue to collapse (rock-bottom-snatch-em-up-prices don't mean shit when the masses are underemployed at $12 per hour or unemployed completely and the average house is $300,000);

4. Wall Street will continue with its relentless greed and then look to taxpayers to bail them out;

5. Quality health care will still be a commodity of a fortunate few;

6. The media will try to tell us how rosy things are and that "things really are starting to improve" when we know they are just puppets for government bullshit propaganda;

7. Retired public employees will continue to live in gated communities while double-dipping their pensions whilst crying poor mouth;

8. It will be discovered that Arnold Schwarznegger has shriveled testicles;

9. It will be discovered that Jerry Brown has shriveled testicles;

10. Public Employee Unions will still not have a clue that they live in a post-Jimmy Hoffa environment and not acknowledge the simple fact that their memberships are insatiable pigs because they really are replaceable and not worth the bloated paychecks and benefits they are receiving;

11. Late night infomercials will continue to rule the airwaves convincing Americans that using the "shake weight" for 10 minutes a day will result in drastic muscle definition. Billions will be sold. Here's your cab fare home.