The Business Trip

Off again to a beautiful, world-class destination.  To be honest, I'm looking forward to some solitude.  The trick will be escaping the colleagues and customers that will proliferate the resort.  I need to be stealth in making my exit to enjoy some sacred alone time in my room.  

This property is known for its scenic walking trails.  I can just picture it now.  In a few hours I will be enjoying the sights and smells of spring and feeling the sun on my face.  I close my eyes and take some deep breaths in appreciation.  Suddenly, I'm cruelly jutted forward and startled by a stern slap on my back and a booming voice.  It's a colleague.  Damn it.  I've been found.  The booming colleague voice says, "Hey, what are you doing here all by yourself?"

Actually, I was trying to hide from anybody associated with my job.  I won't say that, but that's the truth.  I will then be invited to a group dinner at The Most Expensive Joint in Town.  Transportation will be by obnoxious Hummer stretch limo or the like.  Seating will be next to the Biggest Braggart and his wife, Mrs. I Love Shopping. 

I'm bored to tears.  Making conversation with people I'd rather not talk to is exhausting.  After a four course dinner that has dragged out several hours I'm ready to kill myself.  I'd rather watch paint dry.  At least drying paint doesn't command that you pay attention and try to be interested.  Every group dinner involves a podium whore who wants to corral our attention as desert is being served.  The Biggest Braggart is awarded recognition for Project Cluster Fuck.  Anybody who actually has to execute Project Cluster Fuck knows it's impossible by the unnecessary bureaucracy and confusion.  See, Biggest Braggart can't be bothered with the details as why Project Cluster Fuck is a disaster waiting to happen.  This is his moment in the limelight.  The applause feeds his ego. 

This is where I come in.  I'm the one who silently and anonymously works in the background cleaning up Project Cluster Fuck and reprogramming it to make it actually work.  The end product will look nothing like Biggest Braggart designed.  I will never be at the podium receiving accolades.  I don't want to. 

On the positive side I'm grateful I have a job that affords me luxury of staying at some really nice places.....  If only I had that invisibility cloak.