Payroll

You really get to know people doing payroll. I am in charge of payroll for 6 entities. Payday is almost always guaranteed to bring controversy. Let me tell you straight up that I do NOT play games with payroll. I follow each and every rule there is. I'm not that greedy and I'm not that dumb to rip people off. It's just wrong. However, with the issuance of payroll always brings forth the following arguments:

Q: You took out too much in taxes.
A: No. The amount withheld is in accordance to the W-4 form YOU filled out and signed.

Q: Why did you withhold so much for social security and medicare?
A: Because I have to. If you have an issue, gripe to the government and not me.

Q: I need to pay some bills, can I get an advance on my paycheck?
A: No. You know when payday is. It's always the same. Plan and spend accordingly.

Q: YOU BITCH! YOU GARNISHED MY WAGES!
A: This one is my favorite. Garnishing wages is not something that is done lightly. However, when a notice is issued to us by the government, we are legally required to comply. Part of the compliance process is that we have sent you notice of such garnishment well in advance so you could either take care of it or plan for such a garnishment. It's not my fault you don't read your mail, nor is it my role to be your personal bookkeeper.

Most of the time wage garnishments are for taxes or child support. A lot of times it's the wives who call wanting to know why child support was withheld.... I'm not going to touch that one with a ten foot poll. What a way to find out about the other woman and the child he fathered.

The other argument I get on wage garnishments is that they have taken care of the issue and there is no need to withhold the money. Really. When an issue like that is taken care of we are legally required to enforce the wage garnishment unless we receive a notice, in writing, from the government. I usually never hear about it again.