It's been exactly 40 years ago today when Karey, who was barely 15 years old, died in a single car accident on a rural North Dakota gravel road near Colfax where she was heading to basketball practice with her friend, Katie, who was in the car with her. Katie was ejected from the car and lived. Karey was driving and Katie was the passenger. Back then kids could get their 'farmers permit' at a very young age. Knowing Karey like I did, she was probably fiddling with the radio, veered toward the ditch, over corrected, car got sucked into the gravel, car rolled. End of story.
I remember not going to school that day. I knew something was off. Karey and I got matching shirts about a month or so earlier and I wore it for the first time the day she died not knowing when I got dressed in the morning how the day would end.
I remember the phone ringing in the kitchen after dinner and my mother answering it. Mind you, this was 1983 and phones still had cords. It was my Aunt Emmy, Karey's mother. I immediately knew what happened before my mother saying anything.
I've blogged about this countless times before over my 16 years of this stupid blog. I used to go to the Catholic church and light a candle for her each year. Now churches have their doors locked unless there is a scheduled service or event.
I remember being at Karey's funeral and wishing that time would hurl me 10 years into the future to escape the emotions I was feeling at the time. Well, when that 10 year anniversary of her death came I wrote in my diary about it. When the 10 year mark rolled around I had moved to CA, married, and had a kid.
Truth be told my life would have not turned out like it did had Karey lived. My plan was to move to North Dakota and attend NDSU Fargo with her. GO BISON. I had no idea what I wanted to to with life other than that. Karey and I just knew that after we both graduated high school I was to move there and we would FINALLY get to live together at college. We would get to PARTY DOWN and flirt with all the boys.
I'm rambling, I know. It's my blog and the anniversary of an unforgettable event in my life. You are free to stop reading and leave. I am not holding anybody hostage.
I did have a dream about Karey last night. Her deceased father, my Uncle Jim, was in it as well. I saw Uncle Jim and he gave me a big hug. He looked just like I remembered him when he was strong and healthy. Karey took me on a ride in the sky in a vehicle that had no visible body nor parts, but we were sitting on something (weird, I know). Karey was sitting on my left when she told me that someday everything would make sense.
It was then I woke up in the middle of the night with my hacking COVID cough needing some flu medicine. When I went back to bed the dreams did not get any less weird. I dreamed about Dave, who was my first real boyfriend (and the first real loser I dated). I was in a house and he was trying to come in and I kept telling him to stay out and that I was going to call 911. He kept mocking me and saying he was going to come in anyway. I remember shoving him away with what looked like some sort of broom screaming at him to leave me alone, go away, and to never contact me again.
As usual, I woke up exhausted. I'm not sure if it was the COVID cough or the nightmare of the ex-boyfriend returning.
Rest in peace, Karey. Not a day goes by where I don't think of you and where we both would be today had that fatal accident not happen. Yup, even 40 years later you are still close in my heart. I hope you and Bob Dog are having a lot of laughs on the other side along with Beezer. You know, there was a time I think Beezer and I could have been a "thing" and ended up together had life taken a different turn. I know Beezer and I both flirted with it. Too bad his life was cut short as well and I was sad when I learned of his death. Well, you, Bob Dog, and Beezer can laugh at what a mess up I am and how many mistakes I've made on my journey during this incarnation.......and I'm not done yet. I'm sure there will be many more moments where you are all shaking your heads wondering WTF I'm doing.
Well, I don't know what I'm doing, either. I'm making it up as I go along. I will gladly take any assistance the other side has to offer to avoid crashing into the wall and repeating another lifetime on this plane of existence. I want to pass GO and collect my $200 karma and advance to the next level.
No comments:
Post a Comment