Names I Don't Like

 A strange twist of turns and events happen in life.  There is not a pregnancy that has been announced (yet) but names of my future grandchildren are being tested with their future parents.  Believe it or not, even my gay son is thinking of parenthood at some point.  He and his husband would be the type to adopt an Asian girl like in the sitcom Modern Family.  Yes, he laughs at the stereo type and finds humor in it.  

Before I get into names I don't like, my daughter's in-laws have announced their preferred reference to what the future grandchildren call them.  It's like they want dibs on being called Nanny and Poppy.  Whatever.  I never even thought about it.  The kids will call me whatever comes to them.  I don't have a preassigned determination on that.  It will come naturally.  I'm already called gramma as I have a granddog.  Whenever the grand dog comes over, which is frequently, I hear the dog coming through the front door with my daughter singing, "Where's grammmmaaaaaaaaa?"

I don't care if "gramma" sounds old.  I am old.  I own it.  I'm proud I made it this far.   I don't need some catchy-cutesy euphemism for being what I am.  

Now, back to names I don't like.  My kids are coming at me with names of their future kids.  Personally, for me, I have an unusual name.  Nobody ever got it right.  Nobody ever gets it right to this day.  Truth:  I did not know my own name when I went to kindergarten as I was referred to as a childhood nickname I still go by today.  I swore that if I ever had kids that I would give them names nobody would ever have to guess at, trip their tongues on, and mispronounce in the process - let alone struggle to remember 10 minutes later.   I succeeded at that.

 Now, back to the title of this post of names I don't like.  Here's my list.

1.  Naomi (need I say more) sounds like a high-maintenance Jewish bitch

2. Peggy (sounds like a wooden leg)

3.  Sue (of course you thought this would follow Peggy because of the 50's song Peggy Sue) also sounds like a pig call like my paternal grandfather used to do. "Soooooooooooey. Sooooooooooooey."

4.  Kathy (sorry to all the Kathys I know - there are dozens - and that's the problem)  It's the most unimaginative name there is.   I especially dislike the variation of Kathleen.  Kathleen sounds like a used kleenex. 

5.  Jennifer (sorry to all the Jennifers I know - there are dozens - and that's the problem)  Sounds like the name of a side piece for a middle age man going through a mid life crisis. 

6.  Kim:  are you Asian or white trash from Nebraska?

7.  Margaret:  Sounds too much like maggot. 

8.  Wendy:  Has a big mouth that is always open

I could go on and on, but the names I've mentioned are not necessarily in fashion these days as everybody is tripping all over themselves trying to be original by copying others.  Yes, the irony is not lost on me.  Hint:  There are only so many variations of Breeze and Neveah we can handle.

 Well, here are the top  names of my future granddaughter (should the gods determine to be so).  

Scarlett:  Which I can totally get behind as Scarlett O'Hara was my heroine from Gone With the Wind.  I suppose many today have no clue to the character or the legendary film and book circa 1939.  I always wanted to be Scarlett O'Hara.  

Athena:  After the Greek goddess of wisdom and warfare.  Yup.  I can relate.  My kids say I come with my own warning label and should pass this down.    I take this as a compliment.  

Bottom line:  I had no idea that my kids would ever consider my personality when choosing a name for a potential granddaughter.  What an honor.