Going Home

 In a few short days I will be making the trek to my birthplace of Minnesota.  The plan has been morphing for months, but life has a way of making plans for you.  

The original plan was to fly to Minnesota, spend time with family and friends, then rent a car and head west on I-94 through Fargo to stop by and say hello to more relatives, continue on through Dickenson, North Dakota, and through Billings and Bozeman, Montana.  I have a friend who lives in Dillon, Montana and she has been begging for me to come for a visit.  From there, the plan was to continue on to Sun River, Oregon for a work meeting and then drive home to Sonoma County.  

As previously mentioned, life has a way of throwing a monkey wrench into plans.  While I'm still going to Minnesota, the rest of the trip has been cancelled.  Why?  Because both of my husband's sisters are in ill health.  One of his sisters has been in and out of the hospital for the past two months.  She can hardly breathe.  Her husband is also in ill health.  He does not have feeling in his limbs and has fallen more than once that landed him in the hospital. I will refer to this couple as A and B. 

A and B have two adult children in their late 50's.  One daughter works full-time and makes the time to care for her parents.  The other daughter is a raging alcoholic who does nothing and is in and out of rehab.  I've had more than one dream recently where A has died.  I had one last night.  I was at A's bedside and she was in a hospital.  She was having difficulty breathing.  There was a nurse  who pronounced her dead and stated that A was finally done suffering.  I was watching A's soul leave her body like wisps of ascending smoke that joined with other smoke-like wisps that were hovering near the ceiling.  I knew it was her spirit guides coming to help her cross over.  B was lying next to her body in the hospital bed in disbelief.  Then somebody put a coin in A's mouth.  It was then I woke up.

My other sister-in-law, I will refer to her as K, has been needy for the past few years.  She has had several surgeries on her knees and shoulders where she rehabilitated at our house as she lives alone, never married, and has no children.  In March of 2022 she had major back surgery.  K is accident prone and managed to open the incision in her back.  Every day the wound needed to be cleaned and bandaged.  We finally got her almost healed from the back surgery (it took over a year) and then K managed to injure herself riding a scooter and managed to pin herself up against the bumper of her car.  The injury required an ambulance, emergency room visit, and then surgery.  Long story short, the severity of the injury left her pretty much immobilized.  We have been cleaning, cooking, grocery shopping, taking care of her garden, taking care of her cat, taking her to doctor appointments, and trying to figure out her state of affairs (she is extremely disorganized).  She is on the bubble of needing somebody 24/7.  We have her on a wait list for senior housing, but that wait could be years. 

What makes things difficult is that K is showing signs of dementia and getting the truth out of her is nearly impossible.  I'm constantly plucking the bits information she gives me and trying to piece together the truth.  Don't even get me started as to why she gave the original title of her home to a roofer five years ago who said he needed it in order to perform work.  I'm cleaning up that mess, which is a story all unto itself.

K is a wonderful woman, please don't get me wrong.  It's just that she's aging and needs care.  K was ALWAYS there for us when our kids were small helping out with caring for them.  K helped with all the "cousins" when they were small.  She never had biological kids of her own, but she raised 9 of them.

Where are all these kids now and also the rest of the family in K's hour of need?  Good question.

Without going into family dynamics, K has been ditched by the rest of the family.  She is broke and has nothing; therefore, nobody cares.  There won't be anything to inherit except a mess of bureaucratic headaches dealing with California probate court, creditors, and cleaning out her piles of useless crap.  

Yes, this is a long-winded testament as to why the summer trip going west got cancelled.  I kept   Minnesota to see my own mother who is aging and to give a little relief to my sister who has been at the helm of her care.  

On the plus side, I'm going to northern Minnesota to the cabin with my coven for a short getaway.  I'm looking forward to seeing them.  It's been pre-COVID since we've had a cabin getaway.  :)