Yuppie Moms

If you have a child named Dakota, Lily, or Chase, stop right here. This blog is not for you. You are part of the problem. On second thought, maybe you should read it so you will figure out how annoying you and your kids are.

I'm talking about Yuppie Moms. You know the type of parents I'm talking about -- they publicly account for the first prenatal movement, first bowel movement, etc. They think the entire world revolves around their kid. All I can say is WHO CARES!!!

They're the ones who patronize Starbucks dressed to the hilt with their obnoxious brats in tow. They are also the ones who speak in that utterly annoying sing-songy, lofty, kept-housewife-feminine-tone of, "Dakota, stop crawling the walls, OKayyyyy??????? Or we won't get ice cream, OKayyyyy????????"

Attention Yuppie Moms: Your kids aren't that great, you're annoying, and the world is already overpopulated. Tie your tubes immediately.