New Year's Eve

My friend's sister is hosting a New Year's party tonight.  It's been decades since I've actually been out on New Year's Eve.  The last time I went out was 1990.  Pathetic.  No, I take that back.  Five years ago I spent New Year's Eve with my brother in rural Minnesota.  We played cards at his house as the weather was so nasty and cold that even walking to the bar was out of the question. 

I'm usually home on New Year's.  I usually had a house full of kids as I would rather have them safely at my house, despite the fact that they trash my kitchen making home made pizzas, than somewhere out on the roads.

This year is a little different.  I'm cutting the cord.  While there will still be kids/young adults at my house I'm not putting out the pizza-food-entertainment as I did in years past making my own dough, chopping vegetables for toppings, making my own sauce, etc.  They are picking up take-and-bake pizza.  Whew.  It's a lot of work just after hosting Christmas Eve, Christmas morning, and hosting in-laws/family in general for the past month that I'd rather NOT do tonight....and I love cooking...just taking a break from it.

My dancing dress is coming out of the closet along with my shoes!

Older and Wiser: Christmas Shortcuts

I keep finding shortcuts to lessen the stress of Christmas.  I still get stressed out to some degree, but I have found some shortcuts that lighten the load. 

1.  Don't bake:  Cookies, pies, etc., will find their way to your door via well-wishing neighbors and such.  Besides, we are all pre-diabetic anyway; 

2.  Don't wrap presents:  Wrapping paper is the most wasteful environmental crime ever.  Who pays money to throw something away?  Use gift bags instead -- put the gift inside using much less expensive tissue paper -- close the bag up with ribbon.  Use them again next year.  You will save soooooo much time and money.  Don't let gift snoopers be a deterrent to this method.  Why should you care if they spoil their own surprise by peeking? 

3.  Don't Send Christmas Cards Before Christmas:  Granted, this tradition is going the way of the do-do bird.  However, if you still like to receive correspondence via snail mail (and snail mail is coming back en vogue) don't feel pressure for your card to arrive before December 25th.  The Three Wise Men did not arrive until January 6th.  There is a reason we have 12 days of Christmas.  Personally, I LOVE the cards I receive after December 25th.  I actually have time to enjoy them instead of tossing into the heap of unread mail; 

4.  Don't Travel:  Yes, I'm guilty of not going back to see my family in Minnesota at Christmas.  However, we have much more fun when it's not -40* and risk the perils of traveling in wintertime with blizzards and such delaying and cancelling flights; 

5.  Prep Food:  If you are hosting Christmas Eve, Christmas Breakfast, and Christmas Dinner, (or perhaps all of the above) prep as much as possible before hand.  There are thousands of preparation tricks to make hosting a meal less stressful.  You will thank yourself.

6.  Realize You Will Not Complete Your To-Do List Nor Fulfill All Wishes:  Despite our best intentions, there will be people who will be disappointed no matter what you do.  Oh well.  If they love you they will love  you no matter what gifts you give or not give. 

Find the Fish: Monty Python circa 1983

I remember watching this movie for the first time.  I was slightly under the influence of something that is now legal in some states.  Perhaps that is why I found it so amusing.  Now 30 years later it is still the *one* movie that my sister and I insist on watching together whenever I visit her and vice versa.  The other 'must watch' movie we view is the original Clash of the Titans. 

Haunted House: San Mateo

Ooops.  I did it again.  My psychic abilities hit me at the most unexpected places and at the most unexpected times.  I really wish I could control it and explain it.  I can't. 

Today was the anti-Christmas climax.  Personally, I LOVE the ability to exhale as it is now over for another year.  Anyway, today I needed to drive my son to the airport.  My son's friend needed a ride to his home in San Mateo.  I guess things have not really changed that much.  I'm still the Mom Taxi to some extent despite the fact that my son is now in his mid 20's. 

It's a drive from Sonoma County to San Mateo.  When I got to the home of my son's friend, I apologized profusely but told him I needed to use the bathroom.  I had never been to that particular neighborhood in San Mateo before.  It was really understated-cool.  The house was like something right out of Mad Men with the whole mid-century vibe.  Well, what would you expect from a bunch of computer techies guys -- they are the cool nerds. 

I walked down the hallway and began to sense something.  I felt like somebody was watching me.  I went into the bathroom and closed the door to do my business.  While I was sitting there I was overwhelmed with the sense that there was a woman in the bathroom with me and she had a very strong attachment to the house.  Weird.  That's the LAST thing I expected to sense as I was washing my hands after a routine function.  I was in the house for less than five minutes total. 

When my son and I got back in the car, I asked him the history of his friend's house.  I said flatly that I thought it was haunted by a woman. 

Dead silence. 

I then learned that it was believed to be haunted by a woman as the other house mates have had unexplained experiences that matched what I had experienced, but it more detail. 

12 Days of Christmas: SCTV

I realize I'm dating myself, but Doug and Bob McKenzie from Second City Television back in the 80's just told the simple, plain truth -- which was usually hilarious.  Happy Memories!

T-minus 2 and Counting

Ready or not, here it comes.......Christmas, that is.  I think it sneaked up on us all this year as Thanksgiving came late (blink) Christmas.  Plus, I also think we all go into deep denial burying our heads in the sand hoping that if we ignore it, Christmas will just go away.

Oh no.  Denial is not working.  The constant blaring of cheesy Christmas music over every media won't allow for our escape.  Neither will the bombardment of catalogs, email offers, and telephone solicitors calling for donations.

It's T-minus 2 shopping days left (thankfully).  After that we throw our hands up and surrender, despite our to-do list that still has items unchecked, because what did not get done did not get done.  Waving the white flag. 

I'm sure I will not fulfill somebody's expectations.  Oh well.  There's only so much I can give.  Once again, I did not get Christmas cards out this year.  I did buy some pretty ones as my intentions were good.  I'll get them out next week when the insanity calms down.  They will be my "Three Wise Men" Christmas cards.  They were not there for the actual birthing event, but came after the fact.  Hey, if the Three Wise Men get a pass until January 6, which is Epiphany, why can't I?  Our ancestors were a lot wiser than us (no pun intended) as they celebrated 12 days of Christmas and did not even attempt to cram it into one.  Modern society should take note. 

Holiday Hostess

As one of my kids pointed out, "Mom, since when do you host ALL of the holidays?"

Good question.

As I type this I'm wondering that very same thing myself.  I guess I'm doing it this year because my son won't be here next year, as he will be overseas for quite some time and I have no idea when he will be home for Christmas again. 

I have fantasies of reciprocal hospitality where all I have to do is show up somewhere with a bottle of wine and a pie.  Reciprocal ANYTHING would be appreciated.  Better yet, I have fantasies of just ignoring Christmas altogether.   It's disheartening to have a bunch of people over, eat all of my food, mess up my house, and then leave exclaiming to have had such a wonderful time and then disappear until the following year. 

"But you're such a wonderful hostess and you have the perfect home to entertain in," they chirp.  "I don't have the room nor the cooking skills," they claim. 

Please host anyway.  We don't care if you living arrangements are small and we eat pizza.  It's a lot of work to host holidays.  Doing it year after year gets tiring and grating.  We need a break, too.  Hosting becomes expected of us as now this has become "tradition" perhaps without our intentions.  This is not a pity party, but be merciful to your hostess and at least reciprocate by hosting from time to time.  You'll have a new appreciation for what we go through.  

Yuletide Greetings

You don't hear this phrase much anymore.  It's left over from pre-Christian lore of Norse gods strongly associated with Germanic "Christmas" culture. 

With Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, (fill in the blank with culture of choice) and the greeting of Feliz Navidad I think it's past due that Yuletide gets equal playing time from the media.

....and let's not forget Winter Solstice..... 

Transitional Reinsurance Fee: Punish those who Pay

As I'm getting more and more into this "obama care" the more I'm figuring it's a punishment for employers who have been trying to do the right thing all along. 

I can't make this stuff up.

Employers who have actually reported employees on their payroll paying taxes, workers' compensation insurance, etc., instead of slipping cash under the table are now getting hit with another whammy.  Employers are now being asked to cough up $63 for each belly button on their health insurance plan.  This is called "transitional insurance reinsurance fee."  This is really a grab by the insurance companies/government to fund the masses of sick/uninsured people about to jump into the exchanges.  Insurance companies don't plan on losing any money on Obama Care.  Trust me. 

Why don't they assess the "transitional reinsurance fee" for the companies who don't provide their employees health insurance coverage?  I suppose that would be too difficult as they are not reporting employees in the first place.  The insurance companies don't have an instant victim for their stick-em-up.  It's so much easier to grab money from those who are easily traceable  and already paying into the system. 

ADHD: Attention Deficit Disorder

I wasn't feeling well today, so I spent the day pretty much in bed. In between episodes of consciousness, I flipped through some magazines that had been sitting on my night stand for some time, but I have not had the time to look through.

For starters, every other page was a full-blown ad for some bullshit ailment. The one I'll pick on today is for kids with ADD (or ADHD) which is attention deficit disorder. I do not mean to dismiss kids who truly suffer from this, but more and more, it's just some money-making scheme for pharmecutical companies to profit of every parent's fear that "Johnny isn't getting perfect scores in school. Oh my GOD what is WRONG with him and how do I find an EASY FIX for this?"

This particular magazine ad featured a boy happily focused on doing homework well into the evening after describing a full day of activities that included a full day of school, music lessons, and sports activities. And damn, this boy still had the stamina to focus on the mindless busywork that schools issue as homework. Isn't that the picture of what you hope your child can aspire to?

Does anybody but me see the idiocracy of this? Please say I'm not alone....

There is NOTHING wrong with the kids today, and there is EVERYTHING wrong with a society that expects them to behave like miniature adults. Because guess what -- kids are not miniature adults and we're insane to expect them to behave like 30 year-olds at age 10. Look at what we do to them. We put them into the 'education' system at age 5 where they're told to sit still and be quiet in an artificial environment and listen to some boring teacher ramble on about learning the alphabet. And we get upset when the kids lose interest, fidget, and start staring out the window???? Helloooooooooo????

Now, I'm not saying that children should get away with behaving like selfish little assholes (like the behavior their parents model for them). I'm just saying that we need to be realistic about their attention span, and teach what is truly important and not keep pushing more and more shit on them. Kids are stressed out enough. Quit cramming their schedules with shit thinking that YOUR kid will be the next wonder of the world. Give me a break. Read the first sentence of this paragraph that refers to "selfish little assholes" and look in the mirror. Allow them to be KIDS.

God Bless the kids (and their parents) who are fortunate enough in this day in age who are able to lie in the back yard and imagine cloud shapes as superheros, follow an an insect to its home, or maybe interact with neighbors because they're not being shuttled off from one activity to the next.

Parking Meter

Today I went to Walnut Creek for a meeting.  Parking around there is always at a premium, but at Christmas time it's even worse.  I found a side street spot!  Yipeeeeeeeeee.  Plenty of parking!  As I pulled into my spot and was fumbling in my wallet, a vehicle pulled up behind me.  It was a Hispanic young man wearing an Oakland Raiders sweatshirt. 

Feeling in a generous, holiday mood I fed his meter for him for the maximum 2 hour limit.  He gave me a strange look and tried to hand me money, but all I said was "Merry Christmas."  I did not want money.  What comes around goes around, right?  It's all about random acts of kindness, right? 

I attended my business function and returned to my car about 20 minutes after my meter expired.  Whew.  No ticket.  I noticed the same vehicle I gifted meter fares to.  It was still there.  I got in my car and started to return phone calls with my cell phone.  I do not think 5 minutes passed when the Walnut Creek parking enforcement crept up along the street issuing tickets to expired meters. 

Too bad.  The young man I tried to help out was issued a parking ticket.  He did not return to feed the parking meter I voluntarily fronted the money for as a random act of kindness. 

You can lead a horse to water........ but you can not make him drink.

I'm from L.A.

Noooooooooo!!!!!!!  PUH-LEEZE don't come up from the Los Angeles area (or Southern California) and think that because you're from L.A. you're hot stuff and we are all somehow lower than you.  You all like to announce it like it makes you special and holier-than-thou.  Like we are all supposed to bow down or something. 

Nothing turns off the NorCal homies faster than the announcement of, "I'm from L.A."

The NorCal crowd immediately wonders when you're leaving.  Damn it.  You're staying.  I guess even rats and cockroaches need water in order to survive. 

Meetings in December

I know, I know.... it's the end of the year and end of the quarter.  However, PLEASE do not schedule face-to-face, meaningless meetings that can wait until the 12th of Never between now and New Years.  Conference calls work wonders in saving valuable time -- something that I'm severely lacking these days.

I can't believe the number of meeting requests I'm receiving.  Don't these people have lives?  Aren't they getting ready for the holidays?  Are you KIDDING me?  They want to meet NOW?  Only people with no real family nor friends are even attempting to schedule anything this time of year.

Apparently, there are a lot of them.

The Fourth Amendment

Food for thought:  Snail mail is protected by the Fourth Amendment.  Email is not.

We should all be very concerned about that.

Moral of the story:  Ditch electronic communication, visit the library to get information, pay cash, and use snail mail. 

...and They Lived Happily Ever After

....we were fed the fairy tales of the Disney Prince Charming whisking us away to the castle to live happily ever after.   That's where the story always ends.  The camera cuts rights after the huge wedding.

Oh no... that's where the story actually BEGINS.  Like it or not, life continues after age 21.  Pretty soon we are 26, then 30, then 36, then 47, then 55...... it all happens in a blink.

What nobody really talks about are the very real life challenges we actually face.  Nobody tells us what pitfalls are out there such as:  job loss, divorce, financial struggles, infidelity, betrayal, domestic violence, addictions, etc.  I did not even mention disability, sickness, nor death.

I'm not intending to bum you all out.  My point is that we lie to our children feeding the myth that if you do all the things society tells you you to do, you will lead a happy, stress-free, perfect life and you're a complete failure if yours isn't.  I've got news.  Nobody has a perfect life and each and every one of is struggling with something -- even if you followed society's prescription perfectly.  

Be especially weary of those portraying perfection -- they are usually the ones with the most hideous shortcomings. 

English Accent

I get amusement from that no matter the historical or future period depicted on television or in the movies, the actors ALWAYS have a fake English accent. 

Roman Times = English Accent
Time of Christ = English Accent
Science Fiction = English Accent
Ancient Egypt = English Accent

Don't take my word for it....pay attention.  Usually all historical shows feature the fake English accent - no matter what culture or language of origin it is trying to portray. 

What is a Terrorist?

Thanks to 911 paranoia the definition of a "terrorist" is loosely defined as "anybody or group that undermines the United States of America." 

Anybody see room for misinterpretation?  I sure do.  That definition is partly to blame for the very reason our privacy is non-existent.  Anybody see room for abuse?  I sure do.  Somebody on a power trip can make your life miserable for no apparent reason. 

While it's so much fun to pick on the government, do NOT forget our friends at Google, Yahoo, Facebook, Microsoft, etc., are even more guilty than the government of collecting our demographics and selling it to business.  I find it amusing that they are now trying to persuade President Obama to do something about protecting our personal information.  If they cared so much they would secure their own practices before whining trying to make the government look bad. 

The government and the communication/internet giants are in this together.  The private internet giants gather our information and hand it over to whomever - usually for a handsome price.  Both the government and the internet giants pretend to have our best interests at heart.  They don't. 

I've blogged about this ad nauseum.  

Moral of the story:  Ditch electronic communication, pay cash, and use snail mail. 

Graton Casino: Grates On My Nerves

I had to do it.  I had to make the trek to Rohnert Park to check out the casino for myself.  I had heard stories from people who reported back what it was really like inside.  I never had a warm fuzzy for the casino from the beginning, but decided to see for myself and make up my own mind.  What if it really was the entertainment and cultural mecca it was trumpeted to be and was going to be our economic messiah?

Parking?  Check.  The casino had ample parking available.  They also had security riding around on bikes making sure the area was safe.  Good first impression.

Entrances to the casino?  Check.  Regardless of where you parked an entrance was not far off.

Once inside the door it was like being in Vegas except with more smoke.  We made our way to the bar located in the middle of the casino to get a glass of wine.  There was a security guard there which was fine.  I ordered a glass of "Graton" Cabernet which was terrible.  If you're going to have a casino located in our beloved wine country of Sonoma County, at least pour some decent wine.  I'm no wine snob, but I could not even finish it.  Pouring wine of that poor quality is an instant insult.  Strike one.

While sitting at the bar, my friend needed to use the ladies room.  During her absence I looked around to people watch.  Interesting.  The lady sitting at the table behind me had a dog.  I did not know dogs were allowed in a casino bar.  Whatever.  Strike two.

Sitting at the bar people watching.  Tick tock, tick tock.  Where did my friend go?  She was taking a long time in the bathroom.  Maybe she ran into an acquaintance and got sidetracked.   No, she was banned from returning to her seat at the bar because she was wearing a hooded sweatshirt.  Wow.  Are you KIDDING me?  She is such a gang-bang threat at age 57 and gray hair.  She was dressed well enough to enter 30 minutes ago and order wine and sit at the bar.  Is this for REAL?  She went to the bathroom and was banned from returning to her seat.  When a DOG gets allowed entrance to a bar and a 57 year old woman is denied re-entry is a logic I can't fathom.  Strike three.

At this point we are borderline amused and angry at what just happened.  Did what just happen really just happen?  A DOG was given preferential treatment over a paying customer?  WTF????  Our stomachs were growling and needing something to eat to soak up the gut rot wine we were served.  The food court had the usual shopping mall artery clot cuisine you could get at the Santa Rosa Mall or any major airport.  Hmmmmmm we wanted 'real' food.  Strike four.

Well, we might as well tour the rest of the casino that has filled the headlines for the past 10 years and check it all out.  I stopped to play a "penny" slot machine that was in reality $5 a pull once loaded up.  That lasted 1.3 minutes before my money was sucked completely dry and left me with a 14 cent voucher.  The table games were no better.  The stakes were too high for somebody who, like myself, actually works for a living and can't afford to bet the farm for sheer entertainment on a Saturday evening. Strike five. 

We thought that Tony's Pizza sounded like it might be good for a decent glass of wine (hopefully) and a bite to eat that actually contained real ingredients.  Oh no.  Tony's had an hour and a half wait and the prices were outrageous.  Strike six.

No matter, we could not have waited around for an hour and a half for overpriced food as the cigarette smoke was beginning to choke us.  Our nostrils and eyes were burning and we could hardly breathe.  Fresh oxygen is kind of important.  Strike seven.

We left the casino property and went to a restaurant where we could actually taste the food and not the cigarette smoke.  In retrospect we both saved money as I'm sure we would have thrown it into a slot machine or paid double the price for food we could get somewhere else SANS smoke. 

After about an hour all my curiosity was satisfied about this establishment that is to define our area for decades to come.   What a letdown.  I'll never return. 



 

The Perfect Day: Synchronicity

OMG!  How do I even describe yesterday?  If the universe had hands, yesterday I got the ultimate high-five.  Synchronicity.  That's all I can say. 

For starters, I happened to be in San Diego for a business trip when I received word that my son, who is active military and stationed in San Diego, was being promoted.  How cool is THAT?  To make it even better I actually got to participate in the promotion ceremony, which is something that civilians don't normally do.  Wow.  That could not have ever been planned!

It gets better.

After the promotion ceremony my son dropped me at my hotel.  I had a business dinner I had to attend last night.  I was thinking of every single excuse I could think of to NOT go.  I generally loathe dinner functions and making small talk with people I don't know.  Plus, I was by myself and had no idea where I would be seated.  I dressed for dinner and made my way to the restaurant.

(Rewind 15 years as this information comes into play:  My son was in elementary school.  Long story short, he needed to be placed at a non-traditional school.  I went to war with the district.  It was ugly.  I still have battle scars.  The superintendent was a pompous prick and fought me tooth and nail AGAINST my son.  I acted as my own attorney and won.)

I entered the restaurant and made my way to the registration table.  I did not recognize a single soul.  I got my name tag and table seating assignment.  Shit.  This was going to be the dinner meeting from hell.   The place was wall-to-wall people.  I carefully navigated my way to my table, wine glass in hand, and sat down with a group of strangers.

After self-introductions the small talk begins.  The topic came 'round to kids and elementary schools.  Common ground was found.  GOLD!  I told of where mine went, but it was several years ago.  A man reached across the table to shake my hand.  It was Superintendent Pompous Prick who I went to battle with 15 years earlier.  I did not recognize him at first, and he did not recognize me.  No WAY!  This could not be happening!  I was seated next to somebody I wanted to run over with my car 15 years earlier!  The sheer odds of ever seeing this dude ever again were nil.  Winning the lottery has greater odds than ever meeting up again with that jerk. 

It gave me great JOY to the very core of my being to let Superintendent Pompous Prick know that earlier in the day I was at my son's promotion ceremony recognizing his achievements and advances in naval intelligence.  I thought Superintendent Pompous Prick was going to choke on his food.  Synchronicity in pure form.  Karma. 

Moral of the story:  NEVER underestimate a child's potential and write them off.

Liberals vs Conservatives

What I find so amusing about liberals is that they pride themselves on "personal freedom, expression, diversity, acceptance, blah, blah, blah" but only if it fits their own definition.  Here's a true story:

I know of a school in the Bay Area that helps kids with learning issues.  Sadly, many of these kids never find their niche and never self-actualize.  However, some of them do and become crazy successful.  The school likes to bring back these former students to motivate the student body.  This school is based in a very "liberal" population.  One of the former students is an aspiring officer in the military and is very, VERY happy.  However, he is not invited to back to the school because of the "anti-military" culture of the liberals.

Wow.  Talk about discrimination and prejudice. 

It's Not The Government

Interesting conversational material tonight.  The question was why we are so freaked about about giving our social security number, etc., to the government with the fear that they are spying on our every move is unfounded.  The government issued that information to you already.  There is strict protocol on how personal, identifying information is stored and used.  It's not the government you should fear...

It's Google and other private businesses that collect personal information and package it for sale.

In order for the government to collect information that we are all so paranoid about would require breaching several layers of bureaucracy.  Anybody who works within the government structure knows that certain departments do not communicate with others for that very fear of one gaining too much control.  The "government" would require warrants for information that entities like Google collect free of rules and restrictions and control.  See, corporations do not adhere to the same privacy rules that the government does despite the fact that we all are fed to believe otherwise. 
.
The other interesting tidbit of conversation tonight is that the United States does not have a media that is  public owned and operated unlike the United Kingdom with the BBC and Canada as immediate examples.  While I can understand the arguments of a "government" owned and operated media as being a propaganda machine, the thought of a corporation propaganda machine is much more frightening as profits are the ultimate goal.  No wonder our news media is filled with fear and horror.  It sells.  Profits.  The corporation answers to shareholders.  The government, no matter how oppressive or messed up, ultimately answers to the people.

Paper Brain

I finally did it.  I completely ditched my google-yahoo-outlook-iPhone-whatever electronic personal calender/organizer.  I could not take it anymore.  There's always a software glitch or a configuration issue.  You always need an electrical charge.  The other eerie side issue of electronic organizers is what happens to your "personal" contacts and information once it is launched into cyberspace. 

I went back to my paper organizing system I had 25 years ago. 

There is this amazing tool called a pencil.  It requires no batteries, no software updates, and only costs a penny.  If you need to change an appointment or contact information there is this buddy utility component commonly known as an 'eraser' that instantly allows edits!

There is also this super secure method of transmitting correspondence and information.  It's called snail mail and phone calls.  This gadget called the telephone actually allows for a personal touch mimicking the sound of your own voice!  How COOL is THAT!  No more need for clumsy email/text emoticons or risk of having your message come across in a tone you did not intend.  The super cool part is that the person you are communicating with has the capability to respond instantly with THEIR own VOICE! 


Amazing.  Top that, Google Geeks. 

Canada and the United States: Borders Explained

I always wondered why Lake of the Woods had the weird border with Canada. 

Coffee: The Greatest Drink EVER

Why yes, I think I'll have another cup....  :)

Shopping and Consumerism

I'm confused about an economic concept.  The masses, who really don't hold the bulk of wealth, are encouraged ad nauseum to go out and "spend, spend and spend MORE" money they don't really have to "stimulate the economy."  IMHO, it's a directive to apply the redistribution of wealth (or in this case non-wealth).

Take it one step beyond.  Wouldn't this same concept work better if the redistribution of wealth actually applied to the top 1% that is holding the rest of the population hostage? 

What's good for the goose is good for the gander.

Stuffed

Once again I went overboard on the food front for Thanksgiving.  I can't help myself.  There is nothing like a traditional turkey dinner with all the trimmings that fills the house with wonderful odors.  Like my son said, "It's the smell of mom's cooking that makes a house a home."

Granted, it's taken me a few years to nail down my rhythm but one little trick I've learned is to cook the turkey upside down about 3/4 of the way through.  Flip.  The breast gets browned nicely and the meat stays juicy and tender. 

Full Circle

Exactly 28 years ago I packed up my belongings in the back of my car with $500 at the age of 19 and left Minnesota for California with a guy I barely knew.  Needless to say, my family was not pleased.  I never went back.  There were strained relations for years after I moved away. 

The events that preceded my leaving and the events that followed shaped my life.  Was it all bad?  No.  Despite the upheaval, so many good things came my way that probably would not have otherwise.  Yes, it was a HUGE gamble for me to take off.  It could have easily ended in disaster.  According to some, it did end in disaster.  Now that I have kids of my own I can understand the emotions from the prospective of a parent. 

In one week I know of two teenage girls who are basically reliving and re-enacting my state of mind as a teen and replaying my life.  I think the trick for parenting teen girls is to *really* listen between the lines as to what they are saying (or more importantly what they are NOT saying).  Talk TO them and not AT them.  Giving belittling lectures with the tone of "I told you so" will only drive them away.  Truly acknowledge and validate what they are feeling.  Their emotions and issues are very real to them although adults often flippantly dismiss them as "typical teen drama." 

Thanksgiving

They are trying like crazy to commercialize Thanksgiving and change the day to emphasize Black Friday.

Don't buy in.

Literally.

Job Creation

I think I'm beginning to figure it out.  The only way to job creation is to invent meaningless bureaucratic, paper shuffles and shell games.  Without government manufactured-sponsored-bullshit-laws and regulations, what else would people do for jobs? 

Oh, there's the financial sector which thrives on similar tactics, but the end end result is still the same:  dependance on taxpayer money. 

Emotional Vomit

I'm not sure exactly what it is about this time of year that brings long dormant emotions bubbling to the surface.  In one nano second I have seen my life from the vantage point of teen, parent, aunt, friend, and grandparent via my 17 year-old niece. 

What prompts teens to make the decisions they do?  What are they thinking?  Are they thinking at all?  Concerned adults wring their hands and cry with worry.  Teens are nonchalant thinking that everything will fall into place and life will be happily ever after.   Teens know EVERYTHING, right?

In the meantime the mom and dad are going out of their minds on how to deal with teen years gone haywire. What happened to their innocent little girl?

The only thing I can think of is to return to my diaries of when I was that age.  I'm immediately in the mind set of a 17 year old girl.  The trick is to bridge the 17 year old mind set to the parents.  I don't claim to have any magic answers that will guarantee smooth sailing for teen years.  I do, however, have strong, living emotions and memories from when I was "that age." 

Social Club

I thought the "who's who at parties" ended in high school.  Wrong.  Tonight was like walking into a bee hive of Sonoma County soap opera drama as to whom is fucking whom, divorce proceedings, business bankruptcy proceedings, tech start up proceedings, etc.

I was already dizzy by the time I walked through the front door to the time I reached the bar area.  To make matters worse, the lead guitarist of the band looked EXACTLY like my older brother to the point where I was staring and taking pictures.  He probably thought I was some freaky groupy but the likeness was too much to bear and I had to send proof to my brother of his "twin." 

Like that was not enough.  Blasts from the past kept walking through the front door. 

Airport Experience

.....and you all thought Quiet Rage had anger issues.... Jenna Marbles makes me TAME in comparison.  Still, I LOVE this video as it has some very valid points and I do share her anger in regards to things that piss me off about the airport.

Unclip My Wings!

Ever feel like you're wings are clipped?  I *really* just want to live life and have fun!  The day to day responsibilities of my job, family, chores, blah, blah, blah, blah, are wearing on me.  Just when I think I've dumped some responsibility, more comes at me. 

100 years from now nobody will care that my checkbook was always perfectly balanced, bills always paid, and the front lawn was mowed, and I always tried to do the right thing.  Being uber responsible gets you nowhere. 

It's my turn to be irresponsible and not care.  I've bailed out everybody else, now it's their turn to bail ME out. 

I'm a snaaaaaaaaake

One guy gets 12 million hits on this video.   The 150th anniversary of the Gettysburg Address goes by basically unnoticed.  What can I say? 

The Next Economic Time Bomb: Retirement

Still reeling from the last economic depression featuring $12 per hour jobs (no benefits) and the housing crisis?  Fasten your seat belts as we are about to enter.....(dramatic music).....THE RETIREMENT ZONE .....(timpani drum booming)

There are so many tangents I could go off of, but for today I will center around personal finances and refrain from underfunded pension plans, social security and such.  Not even I could handle that much bitching in one day. 

I've noticed a disturbing trend that the media is not addressing head on as it would cause unpleasant feelings.  More and more retirement age adults are bankrupt.  Why?  The reasons are varied, but in my experience the reasons are generally:

1.  Lack of contributing to a 401(k) or SEP or equivalent:  Maybe your employer did not offer it.  Maybe if your employer did offer it you did not participate or participated at a measly 3%. 

2.  "Put it all on my Paycheck" mentality:  During the 80's and 90's employers thought they were doing employees a favor by putting what used to be retirement contributions "all on the paycheck" for the employee to be personally responsible for squirreling away for retirement.  Nobody did.

3.  Tapping home equity:  Using the home as a piggy bank is generally not a good idea.  Granted, there are reasons to get a home equity loan but at the moment I'm drawing a complete blank.

4.  Disability:  We all plan to work as long as we can.  However, illness and injury often pop up at the most inopportune times. 

5.  Putting kids through college:  Nothing will drain your life savings faster.  Unless you happen to have a kid who is super focused on a major with expected employment opportunities that will exceed the debt to education ratio, be very careful of this money trap.  I'm not anti-education - I'm PRO education but not at the expense of derailing your retirement plans. 

6.  "The Government will Save Me":  Bullshit.  

There's my top 6.  Damn, I sound like Suze Orman. 

Veterans' Day

I don't care what political beliefs you have.  Show some respect for veterans on Veterans' Day.  Many have suffered and died so we can bitch openly about this country and file trite litigation over the neighbor is using a leaf blower.

Mother Grandma

I'm at the age where I don't know what to say on Facebook when one of my old classmates make a birth announcement -- they could be parents or grandparents (or both). 

An old classmate of mine recently blabbed about giving birth to her 102nd kid complete with hospital pics.  Glad it's hers and not mine.  Whatever.  Time is a blur and now there she is again with another sonogram.  This time she's "grandma."  WTF?  Not only is she still popping them out like a pez dispenser gone wild, now her kids are mimicking her human mass production. 

I guess I'm too old, lazy and like my independence too much to even want to babysit for one night.  I can't see the glory in pumping out yet more humans in an already over populated world.... especially when there are things available at the local drug store without a prescription that prevent it. 

Scorpio

What is it with Scorpios?  I'm surrounded by them!  In one week I've recognized more Scorpio birthdays than I can count and next week I have three more.  Maybe it's just a coincidence, but all my friends/family seem to be born the first part of November. 

The Birthday Gift

I'm learning to turn the bullshit people put on me back to the source.  Granted, it takes practice to recognize it and react.  Here's the scenario du jour....

A friend of mine is turning 50.  A party has been planned.  The party is tomorrow evening.  I get a text message late this afternoon from another friend who is attending the party chirping, "What are you getting X for her birthday?" 

I replied with a text stating, "Oh, probably a bottle of wine."

A couple of hours later I got another text from the same person stating, "Do you want to go in a message $25 each?"

I replied, "sure."

She then texted me asking if I wanted to be the one to go and purchase the gift certificate for a message from the both of us.  That's where I drew the line.  Don't text me pawning off your gift giving obligations onto me.  I was happy with the thought of giving the birthday girl a bottle of wine.  Don't initiate this wonderful 'joint' brainstorm idea *you* had and then suggest *I* do the legwork.  You just want me to do your shit work.  Fuck you. 

Fat Leonard: US Navy

The news reports of how a military contractor known as Fat Leonard bribed US Navy Officers with money, concert tickets, and prostitutes.  Fat Leonard bilked millions of tax dollars from us to fund his lifestyle.  It's disturbing to me that our national security can be compromised for tits and ass. 

Bruce Jenner: WTF happened???

Ummmmm...  How does a good looking guy turn into my junior high school lesbian gym teacher? 

Mercury Retrograde

No wonder I've been feeling like I'm in quicksand.  Nothing is going smoothly.  Technical glitches are galore, and people are pissing me off more than usual.  I over heard somebody saying that all this unsettled, frustrating stuff is because the planet Mercury is retrograde.  

The Photographer

I was at a high profile business function recently.  I loathe such functions as it's all about being seen with certain people.  The general assumption is that everybody is thrilled to be there rubbing elbows.  I am, of course, the exception. 

Everything was tolerable until the photographer came 'round (unsolicited) wanting to pose us for pictures.  There are several reasons why I don't like my picture taken.  I don't need to go into it here.  Additionally, I feel I don't need to explain to complete strangers as to why I don't want my picture taken and to please remove the lens from my face. 

The photographer was absolutely astounded that I declined to have my photograph taken.  He naturally assumed I was a camera/attention whore and that I would be thrilled.  Wrong.  The idiot did not take a gentle 'no thank you' for an answer.  The photographer's request then became sarcastic and surly and demanding that I pose.  I finally got sick of him prodding me and said, "It's against my religion to have my picture taken -- the image steals my soul."

He then proceeded to gather up the group for a picture sans myself.  After he was done he turned to me and said in a tone, "By the way, I've seen the wanted posters out for your arrest."

Intuition Overload

I don't ask for it.  My intuition/psychic abilities comes and hits me like a ton of bricks every so often.   I'm like an antennae.  I pick up on people's vibes -- for better and for worse.  I then get the movie version via dreams.  I wish I could control it. 

Halloween

Yes, it's a holiday for pagan freaks like myself.  I'm about to go out and participate in Wicca rituals.  Today symbolizes the death cycle.  I also tend to get the blues on Halloween.  I get weepy, sad, nostalgic, and just downright depressed.  I feel so disconnected from everybody and everything, and I am.  To be honest, I really don't care if I live or die.  I'm not impressed with this plane of existence, anyway. 

Perils of an Introvert

I'm introverted.  It's true that I will never be the one jumping up and down vying for the spotlight.  I don't want to.  You all give me a headache with your constant noise and self-important chest pounding.  I can't wait to part company with you noisy jackasses to retreat to some peaceful solitude. 

In a world of power-hungry-self-important-noisy extroverts, just how do we quiet introverts survive? 

Good question.  For starters, you will NEVER find us posting our minute-by-minute blows on Facebook or Twitter.  Facebook is evil incarnate.  Twitter is the Enquirer for wannabee celebrities who have roped in their closest 1,040 "friends" into their daily teeth brushing routine.  Twitter is an artificial groupie base for those who never had any real friends in high school.  #loser #whogivesafuck #ihavenofriends #everybodystillhatesyou

Have not you heard about the real morning routine?  It's Twitter on the shitter.  Literally.

My quest in this lifetime is to attempt to live a quiet life in a noisy world.  Yes, I do play the game to some extent, but it does not define my being.   While you all are trying to impress each other with your materialistic possessions and perceived power, I'm wondering what really happens at the moment of death -- which is where we are all headed like it or not -- no matter how large your house or expensive your car is.  #youaregoingtodieandnoneofthismatters

Mexicans: Andy Lopez

I'm pretty liberal, but I'm getting sick of Mexicans whining about everything.  They voluntarily come here illegally and then complain they don't have rights.  They don't have any reportable income, but pump out tons of kids despite available birth control.  They are masters at playing the "victim" role and want us all to bend over backwards for them. 

The latest is a 13 year-old boy brandishing an assault rifle who was shot and killed by a Sonoma County Sheriff.  I'm sorry it happened.  A 13-year-old is a little old to be carrying around a toy gun.  His intentions were not to complete a costume or play cops and robbers with friends. I certainly don't wish anybody shot and killed.  However, when somebody points an assault rifle at you after you were told drop the weapon, it's no mystery the Sheriff fired.  Duh.

Now Tuco-Benedicto-Juan-Maria-Remirez et al are parading in the streets crying.  The local man-whore Mexican politician Effran Carrillo, who also has issues with common sense himself, is milking this for all its worth. 

You may think I'm full of shit, but some of the biggest terrorist threats are coming from Mexico.  Their murderous drug gangs and corrupt government are seeping through the Mexican/American region referred to as DelNorte.  The people of northern Mexico/Southern US do not feel an allegiance to either nation.  Can anybody say Roseland? 

Granted, we have our own problems with our own government.  It's not perfect.  However, California is looking more and more like Tijuana.  No, I'm not going to win any points for blurting out the ugly, un-politically correct truth.  That's what the Press Democrat is for.  

Lies

We are all so cynical and rightly so.  We don't trust our media, we don't trust our government, we don't trust our employer (if we are lucky enough to have one) spouses, on and on and on and on.  It's safe to assume we are all being sold down the river.  Everybody has an ulterior motive and an agenda. 

We don't trust anybody.  We can't.  We all need to assume we are being fed lies.  My personal philosophy is that everybody is a liar until proven trustworthy.  It's a strategy and protection mechanism that has worked well for me. 

Automobile/Driver Stereotypes

I know all of you out there think the same thing, but everybody is too politically correct to say it aloud so I will.  My list of automobile owner/driver stereotypes:

Mexicans/Hispanics Class A:  They all drive Acruas.  Crucifix hanging from rear-view mirror.   Can't see driver's head over seat back giving the appearance the car is being driven by a headless person. 

Mexicans/Hispanics Class B:  Beat up car.  Lots of stuff (crucifix or rosary) hanging from rear-view mirror.  Expired tabs.  One headlight out.  Low-riders.  Booming car stereo base.  Crammed with passengers.  Can't see driver's head over seat back giving the appearance the car is being driven by a headless person. 

Asian Class A:  Wanna be European.  Drive German/Swedish cars. Can't see driver's head over seat back giving the appearance the car is being driven by a headless person. 

Asian Class B:  Toyota Camery.  Swerve into your lane unexpectedly as peripheral vision is lacking.  Box of kleenex on rear window ledge.  Can't see driver's head over seat back giving the appearance the car is being driven by a headless person. 

White Dork:  Dodge minivan or the Chrysler K Car.  The upgraded dorks drive Fords.  Has "Jesus Saves" bumper sticker along with stick-figure family in rear window featuring 10 kids and the dog.  Also has that fish with cross.

Bored Mom on Prozac:  Suburban or equivalent.   Drives with one hand holding a Starbucks coffee in other. Speeds through school crosswalks so her own precious darlings are not late mowing down kindergartners in the process.  Dons workout clothing and a blonde bob.  Has bumper sticker that reads, "My child is an honor student at WhoGivesAShit Elementary."

Guy With Small Penis (subspecies Hick):  Large American truck with large American flag.  Truck raised up 12 feet in air.  Must get running start to jump up and enter cab of truck. Spits tobacco out window which lands on your windshield.

Arrogant White Male Prick:  How do you know when somebody owns a Mercedes, BMW or other luxury vehicle?  They will tell you.  What's the difference between a porcupine and a BMW driver?  The porcupine has the pricks on the outside.  Straddles two parking spaces as to not get door dings.

Bitchy Kept White Woman:  Never worked a day in her life but drives white, convertible luxury cars or Land Rovers.  Has little, yappy dog in lap while driving.  Will stop vehicle unexpectedly in random places thinking the other cars should mover around HER.  What does BMW stand for?  Bitchy Marin Woman. 

Black Class A:  Rappers, sports stars, and drug dealers.  Drive once beautiful cars that have been repainted some ungodly shade of fluorescent.  Driver is angled as if mimicking the leaning Tower of Pisa.  Booming car stereo base.  Chains around license plate.  Illuminated running lights.

Black Class B:  P.O.N.T.I.A.C. (Poor Old Nigger Thinks It's A Cadillac).

Self-Appointed-White-Hippie-Do-Gooders:  Prius.  Drives 55 in the fast lane.  Has bumper stickers that state, "Celebrate Diversity, Obama/Biden, Support Organic Farmers, Pies not Bombs, and other assorted nauseating "can't we all just get along" feel-good-holier-than-thou statements.  Usually on their cell phones.  

Friday Night

It's Friday night and here I sit in sweet solitude in my home :)   I've been in Washington DC and will turn around and head to San Diego next week.  I take moments of quiet peacefulness when I can get them. 

I'm about to put on my baggy sweat pants, my giant sweat shirt, bunny slippers and snuggle down on the couch with a big bowl of popcorn and the TV remote!  Ahhhhhhhhhhh simple pleasures.  This is what Friday evening is all about.  I realize it may not register on the 'excitement' scale, but sometimes this is what I need after hectic days of traveling and dealing with people who are not as wonderful as they think they are. 

Health Care Reform: Here it Comes

I warned two years ago that this would be the biggest cluster fuck we have seen in our generation.  You all ignored me until things reached a boiling point.  Now the entire country is up in arms about providing a basic human benefit.  Told you so. 

Is the solution perfect?  Of course not.  However, you don't see republicans rushing out trying to take care of the problem through their staunch belief of government-free privatization by actually hiring legal citizens and providing them with a dignified wage and benefits.  Republicans are the first ones to pay wages cash under the table and outsource jobs to fatten their bottom line.  Suck it up, republicans.  Your hunger for cheap labor has finally caught up with you.

Democrats are not off the hook, either.  You think the world owes you a certain standard of living.  Wrong.  There is no 'nanny' to take care of you.   There are consequences for your choices.  Grow up and take responsibility.  Despite your holier-than-thou politically correct statements, you also like to pay cash under the table and avoid taxes.  Suck it up, democrats.

The world is the same as it ever was.  Everybody wants, but nobody wants to pay.  Everybody thinks that it's somebody else who should sacrifice.  We all want something for nothing.  Have you idiots figured it out yet?  By the looks on your bewildered faces that you all may have to pay your fair share, my initial reaction is no. 

Here is a simple game that we all need to reference.  If you have three peanuts and you give away four, where does that fourth peanut come from?  That's where things fall apart.   Borrowing and lending is the devil's playground -- along with politics.

The Aftermath: Washington DC

I've been away on business for the past 5 days in Washington DC.  People often ask me what I do for a living.  I need to pause before I respond.  The five-words-or-less version is that I'm a glorified babysitter for obnoxiously rich people -- and I do emphasize the word 'obnoxious'.  I coordinate their travel, dinners, transportation, congressional legislative needs, entertainment, etc. 

At this point in the travel cycle 90% of the rich people have left leaving the 10% of us plebeians behind to clean up and pay their open bar tabs, bail bonds, and hotel bills. 

This is where all truth comes out.  We (the lowly 10%) often congregate in the bar area after the 90% leaves.  We exchange horror stories on how these obnoxious rich people manage to get away with what they do and why we feel any obligation to clean up their messes.  In front of the camera the 90% all swear they are "for the good of all Americans" and other diatribe that is complete bullshit.  They are out for themselves. 

We, the plebian 10%, all depart for home scattered across the United States with even lower self-esteem than what we arrived with.   We  console each other by saying, "see you next year." 

See Me Roll On My Segway: White and Nerdy

This was me today complete with my Segway.   For real.  Yup.  I'm white and nerdy. 

The World as We Know It

I had the honor and the privilege to see in person General Michael Hayden, former director of the CIA and NSA.  I'm no war monger, that's for sure.  I'm not one who believes in abandoning personal privacy in the name of security, either. 

There is the world as we want it to be, and the world we live in.  The sad fact is that we live in a world where both good and evil exist along with varying degrees on either side.   I so wish that all problems could be solved with a group hug and a home-cooked meal, but that's not the world we live in.   We have been maiming and killing each other for control and power since the dawn of civilization.  I'm not saying that it's right, I'm just saying what is.  I don't claim to have the answers. 

What intrigued me today was General Hayden's comments about the creation of the internet.  The internet was created to move lots of trusted information freely and easily between legitimate sources -- initially it was information sharing between institutions of higher learning.  He described it as finding a super efficient way to move stuff between the kitchen and the living room.  What happened is that the less-than-ethical intruded and security measures were attempted to keep the bad guys out.  It's like putting a locked door between the kitchen and living room.  You just defied its very purpose. 

Cyber Space is an uncharted frontier, and it's anybody's game out there.  There is NO WAY to completely control it.  It's 1,000,000 worse than the Wild West ever was.  Private, personal things that were once confined to your home office desk drawer are now open season for any hacker. 

I'm not so sure on this dependence on the internet.  Going completely offline is sounding better and better all the time. 

Introvert: INFP

That's what my problem is.  I'm an introvert.  Only 25% of the population is introverted.  To makes matters worse, the Myers-Briggs personality tests me as an INFP, which only 1% of the population shares.  That means 99% of you all just annoy me.  Shocker.

Well, I share that personality type with:  John Lennon, Frank Lloyd Wright, Edgar Allen Poe, Jim Morrison, J.R.R. Tolkein, Bjork, Joan of Arc, and others. 

No, I don't like the spotlight.  No, I don't need to be the center of attention.  Yes, I LOVE being alone.  No, I don't yap on the phone constantly and need to be in constant communication with people.  People in general just wear me out.  I'm not a party goer, but I can do it and appear like I'm having the time of my life. 

I heard a saying once.  It was, "If you don't like to be alone, you're not in very good company."

Club Cards and Surveys

Can't I shop anywhere anymore without these jackasses trying to get me to complete a survey and sign up for their club card?  I'm soooooooo sick of retailers clogging up my email inbox with promises of $500 if I complete their 'survey' and use their reward 'points' within the next 24 hours or the world will implode. 

My time is worth more than that.

Here's to the pea-brained marketing execs twiddling their thumbs in their offices jerking each other off with their stupid ideas....oooooooh-aahhhhhhhh-yes....the SURVEY....keep stroking....oh yeah, oh yeah....a little more...you're getting me so excited..... SURVEY..... yes... $500..... ahhhhhhhh...

Get your thumbs out of your ass and actually try to shop/patronize your own establishments you want us to waste our time filling out a 'survey' for.  You will quickly see how frustrating it is.  You give us coupons we can't use, customer service that is non-existent, and other lines of bullshit that we all know is false like, "your business is appreciated... a customer service representative will be with you shortly....we are experiencing higher than normal call volume..."

I'll take your survey...and shove it right up your ass...on fire with massive flames....do I still qualify for the $500 weekly drawing? 

Balls

Damn it.  They are onto me.  I will have to think of an alternative torture tactic. 

Communion Burger

What?  There is controversy in Chicago about a hamburger joint that put communion wafers on their burgers.  The right-wing-nut-jobs are going bananas.  Why?  Jesus gave it out to hookers, bums, and others who society looks down upon.  Here's something to consider for the uptight Christians:  Be happy that those who don't normally attend church and are uneducated on the communion wafer are getting an introduction to Jesus.  You want Christianity to spread, right? 

On Getting Older

Now that I'm in my 40's there is so much less that I care about.  That's a good thing.  We are brainwashed from birth to believe that the only things that make us successful are good looks, money, and material things. 

I watch in quasi-amusement now at those striving for material riches and climbing the corporate ladder.  They trip all over themselves to make the right "connections" at cocktail parties.  The ass-kissing is nauseating along with their ever-agreeing-yes-men-bobble heads sucking up to those they feel can advance their career. 

I love my humble appearance and nondescript possessions.  That way I know the people who talk to me at cocktail parties are at least genuine in making conversation with me.  

Government Shutdown

...does anybody even care?  Only those dependent on it are suffering.... 

Pigs for the Pigs

Each year we participate in the Sonoma County 4H livestock auction.  Each year I'm amazed at the greed when it's time to pick up and distribute the meat.  This has been going on for several years.  I pick up boxes and bring them to a meeting where the attendees help themselves to hams, bacon, sausage, pork steaks, pork chops, etc.  It's on the honor system, which isn't so honorable. 

Last year one attendee brought several humongous coolers and filled them all to the brim.  He then had the audacity to complain that some of the meat had freezer burn (ha ha ha ha ha that should teach him to be so greedy).  It did not.  He again brought several coolers and helped himself while others stood in the background waiting for some leftovers.

Each year it's the same.  The same people overload themselves and leave nothing but pig knuckles for those waiting patiently and with class and dignity.  I could pre-portion the meat and deliver individually away from the group grab setting, but where is the fun in that?  I want all to see who is a greedy jerk and who waits patiently.....  elections are in two months.... 

Toilet Paper

I think I have been at my job too long.  Just when I thought I had heard it all, this is an official complaint from a female employee on a construction job site in San Francisco.  Yes, I'm a woman in a historically man's occupation.  Yes, I understand the dynamics women face day-in-and-day-out just trying to get our jobs done and also to be taken seriously.  This ain't no day at the spa, sistah.  You have not earned it yet.   You chose this male-dominated career as did I.  Don't fuck it up for the rest of us, betch.  It's whiny bitches like you that put women back into the 1700's.  Here is your official complaint as I read it....

"I needed to take an extended bathroom break as the toilets provided at the job site did not have toilet paper that was comfortable to my delicate privates.  I needed to walk 4 blocks down to use the facilities at Union Bank as their toilets provide paper that is not irritating."

To which my immediate response was, "Why did not you just ask for the brand of toilet paper you prefer?"

At that point I instructed the employer to go to the nearest grocery store and purchase every brand of fluffier-than-thou toilet paper, including the Super Improved Angel Soft and personally hand it to Princess for her choosing. 

We all know that Princess wanted the extended break on company time and expense.  If she had terrible periods, fibroid tumors, endometriosis or other female issues that really deserved sympathy I would have taken a different stance.  It's women like her that keep the rest of us down. 

Finally Friday

I'm rejoicing the fact that it is Friday.  I'm also dreading the fact that there is only one more business day left in the month.  I have absolutely NO idea what happened to September.  It was Labor Day yesterday.  Blink.  Now it's end of the month.  It seems like I'm cramming a month's worth of work into one week. 

I'm not sure what it is exactly that makes September-December so extremely nutty busy.  I think it's because people are lax over the summer. When their kids return to school, and they return to their offices they all of a sudden need to justify their jobs and distribute mountains of paperwork, meeting requests, reports, emails, and other useless noise that accomplishes nothing but sucks your life force  like a vampire. 

STFU ALREADY!!!!!!!!! LEAVE ME ALONE !!!!   I HAVE A HEADACHE FROM YOUR BULLSHIT!!!!!

Michelle Fenyves: Go Back

Not exactly sure who Michelle Fenyves is, but I'm sure she's a recent arrival from Marin or some other place where the Bored Moms on Prozac are overpopulating and came to Sonoma County for fresh ears to listen to her demanding, obnoxious whining. 

Not so fast there, Michelle...  remember... plenty of NRA enthusiasts around here looking for target practice.  Think about it.  Oh yeah.... that X on your back is getting bigger and BIGGER.  It's not peanuts and gluten you should be fearing....

Let's see if I have this straight... both your (cough, cough) precious darlings are so allergic to peanuts that they will die if within a 500' radius of kids who happen to LOVE their peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.  So, the world is supposed to cave and revolve around these two entitled brats accordingly to their whiny, bitchy mother. 

Dear Michelle, if it's that much of a life threatening situation to have peanuts and milk around your brats, PLEASE HOME SCHOOL YOUR CHILDREN or send them to PUBLIC school in bubble wrap.  It's not society's responsibility to cater to your kids' specific health needs. Tell your kids to wear gloves, a mask, and not to touch anything.  Why try to demand behavior modification from those who are not affected?  Oh..... because the world revolves around YOU!!!!!  I get it. 

What's next??? Blaming the school system for colds and flu? They all do hold hands, you know....and climb on the same playground equipment, and breathe the same air. 

It's people like you, Michelle, who are ruining Sonoma County.....I'm pissed that the PD gave you front page coverage.  It only encourages more whining from your type. 

Bank of America SUCKS!!!!!

Like I don't have anything else to do this week.... end of the month, end of the quarter, insurance renewals, meetings and then more meetings....  I've been going non-stop.

Because I work such weird hours I often use the depositories located on the outside of the banks because it's often after-hours before I can get my bank runs in.  I use the depositories because it's for work and I never get cash back.  We don't deal in cash, just checks...  that makes tracking simple, or so I thought.

I use several banks for the different entities I manage and I've noticed that Bank of America is fucking up more than usual.  It's getting so bad that I'm going to close the accounts I have there despite that changing banks is a massive pain-in-the ass.  I think Bank of America is so huge and so massive that the left hand does not know what the right hand is doing. 

Here's my banking nightmare du jour....

When balancing the B of A checking account I noticed that a deposit I made about 6 weeks ago was not reflected on the statement.... hmmmmmmm...  I went online to see if it was reflected there.  It was not.   Hmmmmmmmm... Bank of America has no record of it whatsoever.  Thank goddesses I insist on having all checks and accompanying paperwork scanned.  I went back to the deposit I show in my computer system and sheepishly contacted all the companies I received checks from that made up that one deposit asking if it cleared on their end.  I thought for a moment prior to sending out the inquiry that perhaps I had done something stupid with the deposit like putting it in the US mail or having it slip under my car seat, or dropped somewhere en route.

Today I heard back from two of the companies stating that the checks in question had in fact cleared on their end...it was not a dumb move on my part.   Now.... just WHERE exactly did Bank of America deposit the money to? This is going to require energy and time on my part to get this bank error fixed.

Like I don't have anything else to do....  I don't want to babysit Bank of America.

The New iPhone

Today I was up at the crack of dawn to attend a meeting in San Leandro.  While I was washing the sleep out of my eyes, I turned on the morning television news.  What a mistake.  All I heard over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over again was about the idiots camped out awaiting the release of the newest iPhone version .  They had been standing in line for two days.  I doubt they even have jobs.  Just how in the hell do unemployed losers afford $500 iPhones?  No matter.  They will cry in extra pain on cue when examined by the workers' compensation designated doctor to maximize their settlement. 

Anyway....that's not the rant I'm going to go off on today....

When the KTVU Norman Neet the Man on the Street interviewed the workers' compensation/welfare milkers as to exactly WHY they were standing in line for the newest iPhone the answers ranged from:

1.  The new iPhone has fingerprint scanning technology to authenticate internet purchases;
2.  The new iPhone has voice recognition software to authenticate ownership making the digital passcode obsolete;
3.  The new iPhone has retinae scan capability to make sure your Facebook posts are really your own.

OK..... I live near Silicon Valley and deal with their techno-bullshit on a daily basis.  This is my simpleton approach.... why not just have the iPhone suppository micro chip inserted into your ASS as you want to track and account for every phone call, email, text message, internet purchase, facebook post, twitter update, music download, video upload, blah, blah, blah, blah.........

You dumb fuckers are standing IN LINE to have Big Brother track your every move.  Dumb shits.  You all need to develop filters and limits to this modern day wonder...

D.C. Shootings: Gun Control?

A former Navy reservist open fired at the Navy Admin Headquarters in D.C. yesterday killing 12.  I'm sure you've all heard as it's plastered all over the media ad nauseum.  The timing and location hits uncomfortably close to home for Quiet Rage for reasons I can't disclose.  This attack hit me on a personal level. 

Although the motive has not yet been officially established, my guess is that the nut-case perpetrator has a string of being arrested and dismissed from jobs for being a dumb, volatile, violent asshole.  

I know.... let's make accessible an AR-15 assault rife, a shotgun, and a semi-automatic pistol to people on the psychiatric edge!!!!  What a GREAT idea!!!!  They can go into places of former employment and take out innocents!  So much for background checks. 

I'm going to start a campain:  Marajuana NOT guns.

If he had access to pot he may have been too mellow to even think about doing such a dastardly deed.  I don't know who even NEEDS an AR-15 assault rifle, anyway.  I can hear the NRA on my ass already for accusing me of giving away our constitutional right to bear arms.  I've got news for the NRA.  I agree for the right to 'bear arms' against our government.  The intent was to give means for protection for the population from an overly oppressive, controlling central government.  I completely agree with that.  However, the second amendment is outdated.  It was written in days where modern technology was not even in the wildest science fiction fantasies of our forefathers.  'Arms' has a totally new definition in the post 18th century.

In the age of artificial intelligence, drones, satellites, chemical warfare, bomber planes, atomic bombs, etc., waving an AR-15 assault rifle will not help you.  The fascinating question is just how do we protect ourselves from oppression and censorship via technology when we all depend on it?  The central government is unchecked monitoring our free speech and right to assemble by tagging trigger words spoken and typed over phones and internet activity without our consent.  We are being intercepted and squashed before we can even organize ourselves for protest. 

This is the evolved issue that the second amendment tried to address.  In honor of the United States Constitution that was adopted on this very day in 1787 in Philadelphia, I respectfully pose intent of the second amendment and its relevance in the modern world to the authors.  You will find me in a dark room with an Ouija board awaiting answers.  LOL.

Fun Sports Parents: They do Exist

Last night I hosted a reunion of sorts for a group of parents who had more fun than the kids on a youth sports team.  I spent 6 years of my life traveling around with the same bunch.  We had a blast during those years.  We could not wait for the games to be over with so we could go back to the hotel, sit poolside, order pizzas, and crack open the coolers.  The kids would swim and us parents would relax and crack open a few more coolers.  Then the wine would come out.....then the tequila shots....next thing you knew everybody was in the pool.  Yeah, some cell phones met their fate at the pool bottom, but we really did not care as it was just our annoying employers trying to call us with some stupid question.  If it were truly an emergency, people knew which hotel we could be found at. 

I think word got out that we were the "fun" team as our coaches would get calls from the coaches of other teams wondering which hotel we were all staying at so they could join in for the after game pool parties.  During games and tournaments we were all competitive and had our game faces on jabbing the opposing team(s) with pseudo-insults.  Afterwards we were all partying at the pool together laughing and joking. 

Our team did end up winning a lot of tournaments, but it was not because we were super intense and anal retentive.  I think it was because the kids and the parents had FUN.  

Asshole and Bitch

Ever get *really* pissed of at somebody, but deep down you really like and care about them?  Sometimes misunderstandings lead to feuds that can last several years destroying friendships, marriages, work relationships, etc.  Look no farther than the Hatfield and McCoy's...  the Montegues and the Capulets...  I'm certain you can name at least one situation where communication has ceased due to hard feelings. You're muttering to yourself about that 'asshole'.  The other person is muttering about you being a 'bitch.'

Still, those emotions still linger and try as you might to push it down, you often think about the person/event that pissed you off and find yourself obsessed about where it all broke apart.  It's crazy making.  There is no time machine as of yet to go backwards and right all the wrongs. 

Life is short.  Contact that person.  The worst thing that can happen is that they hang up on you or shut the door in your face.  However, I give odds in your favor that just the opposite will happen and you will rekindle a relationship that was just choking in its own toxic smoke.  Chances are that person really was an asshole, and you really were a bitch.  Own it and get over it. 

Good Gawd...  I sound like somebody in the 7 step AA program going around asking everybody I've ever pissed off for forgiveness... Well, it is Thursday night and I was invited to celebrate recovery  LOL    Well, if the shoe fits.....and the bottle is empty....why the hell not. 

Things I Tried to Figure out as a Kid

There were some things I had tried to figure out as a kid that the adult world could never answer.  Here goes...

1.  If God loves everybody, does God love the devil, too?
2.  If pesticides killed insects on crops, doesn't that poison people as well?
3.  If dentists made money the more times you visited them with cavity fillings and such, why do they tell you to brush and floss? 

That's just the residual ramblings from my inner 6 year-old trying to make sense of the world around her. 

Dance Class: Part II

I've been going to dance class for a while now.  Even within the room of the student dancers there is an energy that is emitted when the music plays and us 'soul sistahs' gravitate toward each other.  Today my African dance counterpart (a black woman) and myself were feeling especially feisty.  There were quite a number of newbies in the class today.  My African dance team mate gave me a sideways glance that said loudly and clearly, "Let's show 'em how it's done, sistah." 

We took command of the floor and put so much soul into our moves James Brown himself would have blushed.       Yeah... It's Salt -n- Peppa....

Female Respect

Women don't get any respect.  I don't know why that is, but in order to be labeled as successful in this materialistic world we need to act like men.  I've taken this role to heart.  I've spent a quarter century thus far being the little girl warrior breaking down gender barriers in my occupation and in society in general. 

It worked.  I have respect from my colleagues and others in the community.  Is this really who I am?  No.  My next challenge is to gain respect for my spiritual, ethereal, psychic (feminine) side that has been pushed down and latent in order to make room establishing a "real" career.  "Real" meaning the more money you make, the more "real" your career is.  It's a crappy standard our society has. 

I've already proven to the world that I can cuss like a sailor.  I can hold my own with any group of aggressive, dismissive men.  God knows I've had decades of practice.  While I have these guys figuratively by the balls, I'm going to introduce a dose of divine feminine power to them.  Maybe they will see the wonder and magic..... or scream for mercy;)

LinkedIn vs. Facebook: Which is Creepier?

Which is creepier Facebook or LinkedIn?  I'm not exactly sure.  Both are self-inflicted invasions of privacy as people LOVE to post their inflated, embellished accomplishments, education, etc.,  along with pictures of themselves being the attention whores they are.  Whatever.

I've said this ad nauseum, but any social media is a hackers paradise.  NEVER post anything you don't want the entire world to see.  Awwwww... I just spoiled my own fun in watching you all step on your own dicks.  I didn't even have to hack anything, either.  My sharing this little tid bit will make me work a little harder, but your privacy settings (and your little friends, too) are only a nuisance that any junior hack can penetrate. 

I'm getting off track.  I get weird LinkedIn invites from people I'm not sure I know.  Some of them I don't even WANT to know, or would ever admit to knowing.  What creeps me out about LinkedIn is that it sends invitations from YOU to people without your knowledge or consent.  Some of the people are a mutual, mutual, mutual, whatever and you've never even met.  The thought of a software program scouring my mutual, mutual, mutual, (four times removed) community freaks me out. 

Still, in the end, what's the pitfall?  Is somebody going to steal my resume?  I guess it's the idea of some software program sending out invitations from me that I did not personally initiate. 

Again, it's some government sponsored program created for easily collecting information from the masses to track networks. You think I'm paranoid?  Just to be sure.... just tell me of ONE person you know of who has received a job because of LinkedIn.  Dead silence.  Thought so.  But you sure posted a GREAT pic of yourself complete with your life story.  The CIA, NSA, FBI and NGA thanks you for your voluntary cooperation. 

The Autumn Leaf Artists: Why I Left Minnesota

Like so many things Minnesotan, this video gets more entertaining as it goes along.  And yeah... it also sums up the dating pool around there.  LOL. 

The Manicotti

I am low in the totem pole in the sibling pecking order.  I have an older sister and brother who were ruthless to me, and then I have a younger brother who is not quite two years younger than myself.  Four kids pretty much bam, bam, bam, bam.  Mom was a good Catholic.

Anyway, being #3 out of 4 and in between two brothers left me vulnerable to their sibling behavior like atomic wedgies, farting on me, etc.  Rarely an opportunity opened up so I could get even and give them a taste of their own medicine.

One night I got my chance with little brother.

My older sister had gone out to dinner at one of those ethnic places that served Italian food (I grew up in a sheltered northern European culinary world).  Anyway, she did not finish her dinner and brought it home in a box.  It was a sausage filled manicotti.  Curious to this new and strange food my sister brought home, I had to take a look at it and check it out.  I thought it looked just like a turd. 

Ding!!!!!!  Idea lightbulb.

My younger had pissed me off earlier in the day for reasons I can't remember anymore.  I was going to get even and put the shit-looking manicotti in his bed.  teeee heeeee teee heeee  I waited patiently for night time.  Placing the manicotti in his bed required stealth-like maneuvers on my part but I got the job done.  Now I sit back and wait.

I had gone to my bedroom waiting for a reaction.  I finally got it.  My younger brother yelled at the top of his lungs, "WHO IN THE HELL PUT A SHIT IN MY BED!" 

He was pissed.  I'll never forget the stomping of his feet coming from upstairs.  He flew down the stairs and pounded on my door with such force I thought he broke it down.  "VERY FUCKING FUNNY, YOU SICK FUCK," he screamed through my door.

I was laughing so hard I was crying, and this pissed him off even more.  How he figured out it was me so quickly was not really a mystery as we had an argument earlier in the day.

Many, many years have passed since the manicotti episode.  Still, NEVER mention it to my brother to this day.  He's still pissed about it.  I still giggle about it.  

Zero Dark Thirty

I'm not a fan of war nor violence; however, the movie Zero Dark Thirty reaches me on levels that are  part of me. 

1.  Upon visiting Virginia Beach, VA a couple years ago I was warned by my active military duty son, who was stationed there at the time, to stay away from the wooded, sanctioned areas of the base as Seal Team 6 was training for something significant.  That's all the information I was given.

2.  The female main character, Maya, has all the attributes of myself working in a male dominated occupation.  She has to prove herself time and time again and stand up to the testosterone and ego laden know-it-alls and fight for what she feels is the truth.  She is underestimated, but eventually proves her hunches.  You Go Girl. 

3.  Analyzing satellite imagery and hacking into computers is a quasi-hobby of mine -- thanks to son who is active military duty.  Seeing the room filled with several screens ripe for analysis gives me a rush.  You think your phone calls, text messages, and emails are private?  Not.  Don't piss me off and don't lie to me.  I'll have you choking on your own words that have been strategically collected. 

4.  Don't leave a hard drive behind.  You have 4 mics to get out or we leave you. 

5.  When it's all said and done we cry......  all we want is LOVE. 

Organic Foods

..this is the biggest marketing scheme ever.  If you notice a sudden proliferation of "organic" foods at the grocery store, it's not because production has had an epiphany retracting any evil mass production with harmful practices to our food supply.   

Au contraier, mon ami. 

It's because a few subtle changes that amount to nil now qualifies the otherwise non-certifiable "organic" foods as now donning the "organic" label. 

How do I know this?  It's because I have roots and connections in the farming world.  For example, organic milk has been downgraded to the simple requirement of not disturbing the manure fertilizer for three months for feed for the herd.

Unless you can personally follow your food from its source to the table each and every step of the way, you can bet your ass you're getting ripped off with the "organic" food craze.  

Think I'm lying?  Go ahead.  Follow your food from source to table.  Then we will talk.  

World Peace: Why It Does Not Exist

I'm no war advocate.  Let's make that perfectly clear.  However, the liberals who drive around in their Prius with the 'give peace a chance'  and also 'celebrate diversity' bumper sticker ideology make me want to gag. 

These same self-righteous morons are the same ones who fight within their own family units.  They screw over their spouses, siblings, in-laws, extended families, etc., usually over money and  emotional wounds.  Many times they can't even sit at the Thanksgiving table together.

...and yet they are demanding world peace??????  Look in the mirror.  If you can't even stomach dealing with your own family, don't expect the rest of the world to play according to your rules that apply to everybody except yourself. 

Drive off a cliff in your Prius.  Please. 

Hottest Day: Canning Tomatoes

One law of nature that never seems to miss is that you can count on standing over a hot stove canning tomatoes on the hottest day of the year.  Mother Nature has a twisted sense of humor.  Better let Mother Nature have her fun with us, because she will eventually win each and every argument.  I learn from the best.

Home grown tomatoes have such a short shelf life as there are no chemicals or preservatives to prolong the canning process.  You have to get to the task immediately.  Sun drying some of the tomatoes is an option to help shorten the time over the hot stove canning. 

Yes, it's work but the payoff is huge.  My kids are so picky now that they refuse to eat any tomato based foods unless it's something from the garden.  The taste difference and quality is that noticeable.
Word is out that I'm the garden food preservation queen.  Neighbors and friends who have an over abundance from their trees and gardens drop bags of fruits and vegetables on my doorstep. 

...just now what to do with the bag of peaches...

Wait.  I could turn this into a hobby job.  Bring me all of your garden stuff and I will preserve it for you. 

Joel Osteen

Who is this uber Christian dude that looks like a Jew?  If I did not know any better I would swear he was Jerry Seinfeld's cousin.  He even has a Jew name.  I was flipping through channels last Sunday morning and I was astounded by the masses of people who were hanging on his every word. 

Are people that desperate they need to be told what to do and what to believe in?  Do they really need a leader that badly?  I guess resigning yourself to a leader absolves any personal responsibility in life choices.  We all know life choices are overwhelming.  Why not delegate it?  

Televangelism is alive and well.  It must be profitable as Tammy Faye Baker, Jimmy Swaggart and the like keep managing to bilk millions out of believers to fund their mansions and private jets.   Hey, I can get up on stage with a slick hair style, shiny shoes, and pearly white teeth to praise the Lord. 

Think about it.  Tax-free income.  I need to found a religion. 

Kill the White People

...but buy my record first...
This describes my life on so many levels you have no idea...
....kill the white people....

Translate THIS

Here is something to translate....  No, you won't find any help with your Latin-based romance language 'how-to-pick-up-chicks-guide' (aimed primarily to dazzle others to make them feel as  intellectual inferiors and quasi-art enthusiasts). 

몸 어 가 벼 운 느 씹

Sorry, but translation requires something more than staring at nude bodies.  I realize this may be a blow to the French, but they need to come to terms with the sexist neanderthals they really are dressed up with champagne and cheese. 

Tom Cruise: Make out Session

Why would I dream about a mad, passionate make-out session with Tom Cruise?  I awoke scared, upset, (embarrassed) and wondering WHY I would dream about him?  We have nothing in common.  I'm taller than him.  I don't embrace Scientology.  I don't find him attractive.  I never even met him.  It does NOT make sense. 

OMG!!  I'm fatally attracted to leprechauns! 

Quickly, Mr. Sandman, give me a dream.  Make him the cutest I've ever seen....  give him the word that I'm not a rover.... and that his lonesome nights are over...  Mr. Sandman, I'm all alone... don't have nobody to call my own, so please turn on your magic beam.... Mr. Sandman, please, please PLEASE, give me a dream. 

Just make sure it's not Tom Cruise.

Kitchen Bitch

Yes, oh yessssssssssss....  It's that time of year, typically known as harvest, where my kitchen is buzzing with activity.  I preserve, can, freeze, and dry all the garden goodies that have been growing this season.  The only thing missing is dad's bow hunting bounty consisting of a dead buck hanging off a tree limb ready for butchering.  LOL. 

I guess it hit me today that I have names for all of my favorite pots and pans.  I have "old faithful" and also "old iron sides" and "big mamma."  There is also "mini-me" and "Dutch boy." 

How I came to name my pots and pans is unknown...  It's also funny how my kids know EXACTLY which pot and/or pan I'm talking about when I reference such silly names for inanimate cooking utensils. 

Mr. Bohemian Club Part III

It was inevitable.  He could not run and hide forever and avoid any future contact with me try as he might.   He had to look me in the eye. 

The energy has shifted.  He knows I know what his game is.  He knows I can't be bought as I'm not enamored by bright, shiny objects.  He knows he can't bullshit me.  Now he's wondering if I've tipped off others in the 'audience' to his charade. 

Let him wonder.... maybe I have tipped off others, maybe I have not.