I had to do it. I had to make the trek to Rohnert Park to check out the casino for myself. I had heard stories from people who reported back what it was really like inside. I never had a warm fuzzy for the casino from the beginning, but decided to see for myself and make up my own mind. What if it really was the entertainment and cultural mecca it was trumpeted to be and was going to be our economic messiah?
Parking? Check. The casino had ample parking available. They also had security riding around on bikes making sure the area was safe. Good first impression.
Entrances to the casino? Check. Regardless of where you parked an entrance was not far off.
Once inside the door it was like being in Vegas except with more smoke. We made our way to the bar located in the middle of the casino to get a glass of wine. There was a security guard there which was fine. I ordered a glass of "Graton" Cabernet which was terrible. If you're going to have a casino located in our beloved wine country of Sonoma County, at least pour some decent wine. I'm no wine snob, but I could not even finish it. Pouring wine of that poor quality is an instant insult. Strike one.
While sitting at the bar, my friend needed to use the ladies room. During her absence I looked around to people watch. Interesting. The lady sitting at the table behind me had a dog. I did not know dogs were allowed in a casino bar. Whatever. Strike two.
Sitting at the bar people watching. Tick tock, tick tock. Where did my friend go? She was taking a long time in the bathroom. Maybe she ran into an acquaintance and got sidetracked. No, she was banned from returning to her seat at the bar because she was wearing a hooded sweatshirt. Wow. Are you KIDDING me? She is such a gang-bang threat at age 57 and gray hair. She was dressed well enough to enter 30 minutes ago and order wine and sit at the bar. Is this for REAL? She went to the bathroom and was banned from returning to her seat. When a DOG gets allowed entrance to a bar and a 57 year old woman is denied re-entry is a logic I can't fathom. Strike three.
At this point we are borderline amused and angry at what just happened. Did what just happen really just happen? A DOG was given preferential treatment over a paying customer? WTF???? Our stomachs were growling and needing something to eat to soak up the gut rot wine we were served. The food court had the usual shopping mall artery clot cuisine you could get at the Santa Rosa Mall or any major airport. Hmmmmmm we wanted 'real' food. Strike four.
Well, we might as well tour the rest of the casino that has filled the headlines for the past 10 years and check it all out. I stopped to play a "penny" slot machine that was in reality $5 a pull once loaded up. That lasted 1.3 minutes before my money was sucked completely dry and left me with a 14 cent voucher. The table games were no better. The stakes were too high for somebody who, like myself, actually works for a living and can't afford to bet the farm for sheer entertainment on a Saturday evening. Strike five.
We thought that Tony's Pizza sounded like it might be good for a decent glass of wine (hopefully) and a bite to eat that actually contained real ingredients. Oh no. Tony's had an hour and a half wait and the prices were outrageous. Strike six.
No matter, we could not have waited around for an hour and a half for overpriced food as the cigarette smoke was beginning to choke us. Our nostrils and eyes were burning and we could hardly breathe. Fresh oxygen is kind of important. Strike seven.
We left the casino property and went to a restaurant where we could actually taste the food and not the cigarette smoke. In retrospect we both saved money as I'm sure we would have thrown it into a slot machine or paid double the price for food we could get somewhere else SANS smoke.
After about an hour all my curiosity was satisfied about this establishment that is to define our area for decades to come. What a letdown. I'll never return.
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