Life is complicated. Marriage is complicated. I've been married for 37 years - to the same man - and I can tell you we have had our peaks and pits. Sigh. Long story.
Here's where it stands right now. My husband's sister is going to drive us to our boundaries with each other. I'm growing increasingly frustrated with hubby's sister who wants my financial advice and help, but won't give me the whole truth on her finances. I only get bits and pieces.....and then tap dances when I ask pointed questions.
Sorry. If you want my help you need to fess up the truth of your financial status - even if it equals disaster. She asked me for help. It's not like I'm soliciting and prying for personal, private financial information.
God bless my sister-in-law Sassy, as she really is a good person. However, she is like dealing with a 5-year-old. However, she is STUPID with her money.
Sassy will turn 79 on Tuesday. Yup. Sassy is the perpetual toddler. She was the youngest of 4 kids for 17 years until...... her mother announced on April Fools Day that she was pregnant with my now husband at the menopausal age of 45.
At first the pregnancy announcement was thought a menopause joke. It was no joke. Along comes Husband *SURPRISE* two decades after his siblings. His brothers and sisters were more like aunts and uncles because of the age difference. In fact, mother and daughter were pregnant at the same time. My husband's niece is only 4 months younger than himself. Talk about an interesting family photograph.....and they don't even live in the south. LOL.
My sister-in-law, Sassy-the-80-year-old-perpetual-toddler-who-is-currently-in-financial-straits, was ALWAYS the annoying kid sister you wanted to punch in the face (even when she was age 50+). She still sings the bratty, gap-toothed, lisped, freckled face, messy-red-headed- kid-songs-seven-year-olds sing that make us all want to push her off the ledge.
Think a female Denis the Menace - but worse. Think "I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas and All I Want for Christmas are my Two-Front-Teeth" songs where you want to tear the radio off the wall and smash it to bits. Annoying AF.
What's my point? Well, today Sassy calls and tells me that "her broker" called her to tell her to move her money into an IRA at Bank of America.
So many questions.
I've been trying to help with Sassy's finances for two years. I have never heard of her "broker" until today. Just so you all know, "broker" is a term meaning they are making unjust commissions off of you and not acting as a fiduciary.
I asked Sassy about this "broker." She said, "Oh, <tap dance, tap dance, tap dance, tap dance, tap dance> I've been working with him for about the last 15 years or so."
Me: Why am I only hearing about him now? I need you to be transparent with me if you want me to help with your money and finances. In what capacity does this guy work for you? Is he a financial planner? How much of your money does he handle? Is he a fiduciary? Where are your accounts held?
Sassy: Oh, I handed over all my money. I don't know where my money is at. It's been a while since I've looked at a statement. He called me to tell me that I'm running out of money and that I should transfer out of his care and roll over to an IRA account at Bank of America.
Me: ARE YOU KIDDING???????????????????????????????????????
Yes, this is what I'm dealing with. Unscrupulous financial "advisors" who prey on elderly women - my own mother included.
Now the onus is on me to clean up this mess with Sassy and also a similar situation with my own mother who has entrusted her finances to a "broker" because he is Catholic. I told my mother that Catholic priests molest boys. Not all Catholics are good. Dead silence from mom.
Bottom Line: If you are in a position to guide your elderly kin to a reputable financial person to do so sooner than later.
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