Here's something you will need to face at some point whether you want to acknowledge it or not. You will die someday. Sorry, I'm not here to sugarcoat facts for you.
Here's a fact: The medical industry makes the most money and insurance companies incur the most expenses during the last few months of life of ones prolonged illness. Both the medical and insurance industries are preying on an emotional family to "hang on" to loved ones despite a mortal diagnosis. Sadly, usually the one dying has reached an age where life has just run its course. How much can you do for a 101 year-old woman? No matter how hard the medical industry tries, there's not much they can do when nature runs its course.
Sadly, there are many in the medical industry that will drain the 101 year-old woman's financial resources for their own gain (more than likely because they need to pay off their medical school debt plus malpractice insurance).
Here's how my paternal grandfather went out.
My very Midwest German grandfather, who towered over everyone at 6'6" with a bellowing voice was always a proud and strong man. He took no B.S from anybody. He may have not had a formal education, but he could smell b.s. from a mile away and was not afraid to call anybody on it. He was the King of Common Sense.
Years later, grandpa's health declined. He was diagnosed with cancer. My once tall, strong, and proud grandfather, who had been featured in the Pope County Minnesota Tribune multiple times for his excellent farming skills, was dying of cancer.
He knew it.
I remember him being very frustrated with the medical industry. He would often say, "God damn those sons-a-bitches. They will try this treatment and that, and once my bank account is drained dry, they will then tell me there is nothing else than can do for me."
That's where grandpa took things into his own hands.
He returned home to Lowry, Minnesota to be with his wife (my grandmother) in their home. He wanted to sleep with her just a few more times. He knew he was terminal. He did not want to leave my grandmother a penniless widow burdened with hospital and medical bills.
That's when he did it. In the middle of the night my grandfather quietly took one of his leather belts and went into the garage where he made a noose. He silently hung himself in the garage.
My grandmother woke up and did not find grandpa in bed. She got up and started looking for him. She discovered him in the garage dead hanging by one of the rafters with the ladder kicked out from underneath him. My grandmother calls 911. Mind you, this is a small, rural area in western Minnesota where everybody knows and/or is related to everybody else.
My younger brother, who lives in the area and works for the Pope County Sheriff's Department, was the one who was dispatched to the scene. He was the one who had to not only console grandma, but also take our deceased grandfather out of the noose in the garage where he had hung himself.
My brother still has the leather belt my grandfather hung himself with.
My grandfather, in his mind, wanted to leave my grandmother with some financial stability. That's why he did what he did. He knew if he lingered on with half-ass hopes of treatment after treatment she would have wound up penniless and the doctors rich. He wanted her to have whatever was left from the sale of their farm to care for her for when she got to that point of needing care. Grandpa's loyalty was with my grandmother, despite some *VERY* rocky periods in their marriage.
To my Grandpa: you could be a complete misogynistic, homophobic asshole at times. However, I see now how what you did was actually very self-less for grandma. I give you credit for that.
Grandpa, I'll never forget when you met my husband for the very first time. He was scared sh***less of you. Anybody who knew anything about you, grandpa, was scared sh**less of you. You were a towering 6'6" behemoth. You saw my husband coming up the driveway after duck hunting. You said, "Hey, YOU! Yeah, YOU, You look like a God-damn Swede! We don't allow Swedes, because they are dumb as shit, to marry into the family. How are you, Swede?"
Grandpa than held out his hand to shake my now-husband's hand.
I had to explain to my husband that if my grandfather swore at him and insulted him that was a good sign.
Here's to grandpa. He was tough as nails but also had a heart. He subscribed to the northern European Viking death with Norse funeral traditions. He also subscribed to the Native American Dakota tribes way of the elders wandering off to die as to not be a burden.
There is no right way nor wrong way. It's YOUR way. How do YOU want to go out? Do you want to leave your family in financial straights? Sorry, this is a pointed question and there is no easy answer. You will either think of yourself or your family. You have the right to pick one. You can pick either focusing on yourself, or your family who will be left behind to clean up your mess. Good luck!!
I have my dad's seep cap on top of our tree along with my grandpa's cowboy boot ornament.
Merry Christmas!
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