This is the view outside my hotel window. Beautiful, isn't it? There's nothing like the Southern California sun to diminish any late winter/early spring blues.
The sun isn't diminishing just the winter blues. The sun is also diminishing any youth that may be left from the local lizard ladies.
Local Lizard Lady? I can hear you asking just what I mean by that term..... here goes the description....
She is an anorexic, tanned, usually blonde woman who's face has been visually weathered by too many years of basking poolside chirping for the pool boy to bring her yet another cocktail. She is dripping in jewelry - especially bracelets and toe rings that shamelessly draw attention to her tacky, acrylic fingernails and Cal-Trans orange pedicure. Watch out so you don't accidentally step on her yappie, little, ankle-biter mutts she drags with her wherever she goes, and keeps perched on her lap while driving her foreign convertible sports car around town. Her face is in a perpetual semi-frozen state due to the excessive botox treatments, and her lips look like they were stuck in a pool drain from plumping injections.
People like me mutter, "Get the &*^%# dog(s) off your lap and DRIVE -- BETCH."
Of course such sane comments go completely unheeded by a Lizard Lady. She is below such decent human behavior. It's all about HER! The deepest thought she ever fostered was how to match her shoe and purse collection for an entire season.
I am soooooooo GLAD NOT to be from Southern California. Call me whatever you will, but what I am is true, honest, and to the point. Nobody who really knows me could ever accuse me of being not being genuine.
2 comments:
LOL if you look up genuine in the dictionary it reads "Anisa" :)
***just wandering off to remove a few bracelets...**
Amen sister ~ and we wouldn't want you any other way (damn fine piece of descriptive writing too there girl!)
Post a Comment