Kaiser Health Care: Massive Cluster F***

A 45 year-old relative of mine has been diagnosed with skin cancer. It's sad and it sucks. God help you in this day and age if you have health issues -- especially here in Sonoma County, California where the good doctors are fleeing. Health care is a colossal mess.

Kaiser Permanente has used their predatory pricing business methods to eliminate other HMO-type insurance carriers so now they have a monopoly on the local health care industry. See, Kaiser is like the WalMart of health care. Kaiser comes into an area, low-balls the competition to drive them out of business, monopolizes the area, and then jacks up their premium rates because they are now the only game in town and can get away with it. Shrewd. BTW: Kaiser translates to Ceasar in German.

My 45 year-old relative was scheduled for surgery this past Thursday. She was to be at the Oakland Kaiser facility at 7:15 am. Because her husband had to work (another sad situation) and he could not drive her and be present during the 3-hour surgery, he arranged for another relative to pick her up at 6:00 AM to get her at the Kaiser Oakland facility by 7:15 AM.

It is now 9:10 AM and I'm sitting at my desk in my office. My cell phone rings. When I answer it, there is the frantic voice of my 45-year old relative's husband on the other end asking if I knew if my 45 year-old relative had actually made it to the Oakland Kaiser facility. Kaiser had called HIM in an angry panic at his place of employment in San Francisco wanting to know why she did not show up for surgery as scheduled and asking where she was!!!!

What?!!! Come again?!?! Not a phone call I was expecting.

Of course, neither my 45-year old relative or the driver-relative answered their cell phones. Panic sets in. Did they get in an accident on the way to the hospital? Were they car jacked? Did they get lost in 'da hood?' Just where exactly were they, and why was Kaiser calling in such an angry panic looking for them?

OK..... I thought of a game plan and told the husband I would make a couple phone calls to track them down one way or another. If need be, I'd retrace every step and solicit the police to find them.

Come to find out that my 45-year-old relative showed up on time as scheduled for her surgery. The admissions department massively screwed up. Nice. And we're trusting this same caliber of people to do surgery on my 45 year-old relative and cure her cancer? These people can't find their head because it's buried up their ass. Incompetent, stupid morons all.

If I ever get sick, take me to the vet.