The Baggage Game

There is nothing more depressing than listening to my divorced friends' latest dating fiascos.  My friends are very beautiful ladies and have no problems attracting men.  The dating horror stories are more than I can bear sometimes.  Here's the latest M dating disaster.  In case you are not up to speed on M, she is my California BFF.  I also have another California BFF named K.  Both are *beautiful* blonde ladies who are divorced from their cruel, cheating husbands.  Because in both situations my friends share children with their now ex-husbands, some communication happens as there needs to be jointly made decisions made about colleges for their kids, etc.  For now, I will just focus on M's latest dating disaster.

M's latest fling involves a guy in my industry.  Yes, I have all the dirt on him as that's what I do.  Before you get all judgy on me just know we ALL have dirt.  Nobody is pure.  I'll get to that point later.  Here's the chain of events. 

M meets Mr. Dude at a bar in Sonoma County.  Red flag number one.  Very few romances that begin at a bar end well. 

M and Mr. Dude eyeball each other from across the floor.  M loves to dance.  Mr. Dude senses this and swoops in to take her out on the floor.  Mr. Dude has some musical talent and can sing.  This sends M over the edge in delight.  Having a guy sing in your ear is very much a turn on.  I get it.

The familiar pattern repeats itself yet another time.  M and Mr. Dude disappear outside and pretty soon the car they are in has fogged up windows.

M is now saying she's NOT in love, but I know her so well.........yes, she is. 

Now, the complex part.  Mr. Dude is going through a divorce.  He has children with ages 14, 13 and 4.  Yes, that's right.  A there is that huge age spread from 14 to 4.  Why is that?  Well, because Mr. Dude and his wife have a roller coaster relationship and they have been on the fringes of divorce and then marital bliss for a few decades now.  The four year old happened while they thought they had things reconciled. 

But not really.

Mr. Dude and his soon-to-be-ex-wife decided that they are better off apart, but it gets ugly with custody of the kids.  This is where it gets murky.  The ex-Wife claims that Mr. Dude is abusive.  Something happens (I'm not sure what) but Mr. Dude now needs to wear an ankle bracelet to track his whereabouts.  M is trying to tell me that Mr. Dude is totally innocent and that it's the ex-wife making ridiculous claims of abuse.  Somehow my inner psychic is cringing.  Nobody wears an ankle bracelet just because a few heated words between spouses were tossed around.

M.....ARE YOU REALLY GOING TO BUY MR. DUDE'S STORY THAT WEARING AN ANKLE BRACELET IS NOT HIS FAULT AND HE'S 100 PERCENT INNOCENT????  HE IS A PSYCHO WITH A JEKYL AND HYDE PERSONALITY.  HE IS WORKING YOU, GIRLFRIEND.  BEWARE. 

Sigh. 

I want to grab M by the shoulders and shake her.  I can't.  This is her life and I don't need to "fix" anything.  Please, M, don't go for guys registered in the prison system.  However, I think the subconscious runs deep as that is exactly what M's father was and she's repeating an unconscious pattern.  M is attracted to druggie jailbirds.