Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Arizona Illigal Immigration Law

Nothing stirs the pot like illegal immigration reform. Arizona is now in the spotlight. I don't blame Arizona (and the rest of the country for that matter) for wanting to take action into their own hands. Arizona is tired of the feds not doing anything.

There are a couple of points I want to make. First of all, there is whining going on that it's racial profiling and it's prejudice to target Hispanics. It's not -- it's just plain, simple statistics. If it looks like a duck, quacks like a duck, and walks like a duck, chances are it's a duck. DUH...... Nothing personal. It's just statistical probability.

You don't hear any outrage against insurance companies who continuously "profile" us using their statistics and make assumptions. Your car insurance rates are based partly on your age and your address. Why???? Because if you live in a shitty neighborhood chances are you car will get damaged or stolen. Your health insurance premiums are based on your sex and age. Where is the outrage against that?

It's all based on statistics.... no more whining about profiling.

If I were a legal Mexican-American, I would cheer and be proud to show my proof of citizenship status. Don't you think they would be glad to assist their beloved "country" in guarding against illegals???? What's the big deal?

All cockroaches scatter in the light......

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Fountain Grove Fire Station

Oh, gawwwwwd.... the rich snobs in Fountain grove are whining about a proposed fire station in their "upscale" neighborhood. Just where is the firing squad? These people (and their gene pool) should be wiped off the face of the earth -- forever.

I have a plan of attack to rid us all of the incessant whiners whose NIMBYism smacks as to exactly what is wrong with this country.

Come July, when it's *really* dry, windy, and hot, lets douse their homes with gasoline and light them on fire.

When their "prescious, upscale" homes burn to the ground, they will get NO sympanthy from anybody as to why the fire response time was so slow.

I have but one word for the Fountain Grove Whiners "Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah"

I'll buy diapers and pacifiers for all you Fountaingrovers if it will shut you up. Oh, my mistake... you're already probably using "depends" and drinking "ensure." Same fuckin' thing.

The building of the fire station has not been a secret. Please, sell IMMEDIATELY and go back to LA, Marin, or where ever the fuck you came from. I'm sure your old neighbors miss ridiculing you for striving to be a rich-bitch-wanna-be.

Don't let the door hit you on the ass on the way out. BUH-bye.....

Saturday, April 24, 2010

Indian Tacos


Hmmmmmm...... Indian Tacos. Your curiosity is piqued as well? Mine too. Just WTF is an Indian Taco, anyway????? Good question. For me, there is a personal history.

Once upon a time, years and years ago, there was an Indian (a.k.a Native American) who came down to Marin County from Mendocino County to sell bourbon balls laced with hash. Believe you me. These bourbon balls were a work of art. This is, after all, the Emerald Triangle of Northern California where all great pot/hash is born. The bourbon balls were ingested with great appreciation.

Now back to the "Indian" and his tacos....

I saw the sign advertising for Indian tacos today up in Ukiah (Mendocino County for all you pot heads out there). My mind went immediately to my Native American friend who so masterfully created the beloved hash laced bourbon balls we all so loved, cherished, and consumed.

I HAD to have an Indian taco. The anticipation of the flavorful herbs made hearts pound. Once in my hand, I opened it up and looked for the Mendocino parsley that gave it the trade mark name.

Denied.

Just what in the hell kind of kids' sporting event is this, anyway????? No hash laced Indian tacos? WTF???? Just what is this world coming to???? Damn.......

Monday, April 19, 2010

Ringtones Finally Out of Style

Could it be possible that ring tones have FINALLY gone out of style???? AMEN!!! Not so long ago everybody was subject to whatever bad audio techno glip could be downloaded onto a cell phone.

It seems like yesterday (it really was) that you could not start a meeting/luncheon/dinner/conversation/funeral/wedding/sex/whatever without somebody's cell phone going off like Casey Kasum's uber annoying American Top 40 radio broadcast.

Nobody cares that you like the Black Eyed Peas. Nobody cares that you like Carrie Underwood. And believe me, NOBODY cares that you like Selena Gomez or Miley Cyrus. Trust me.

FINALLY people are starting to get the "vibrate" only feature on their cell phones. Yes, it's still rude to be put on hold and ignored by present company to attend to an invisible someone who always seems to be more important than we who are actually present, but at least it's without the grating, juvenille, audio introduction.

Customer Service Lies

Here is my little personal list of canned, bullshit responses from companies:

1. Your call is important to us;
2. We'll be right with you;
3. Due to high volume, your wait time is longer than usual;
4. You are a valued customer;
5. Customer satisfation is our highest priority;
6. Thank you for your business;

The above lines are so tired that they are just empty words with no meaning whatsoever. I would rather have them say the truth like, "You are a meaningless, bothersome, pain-in-the-ass to us. Unless we can make an obscene profit off of you, you don't mean shit to us."

At least that would be the truth....and I would respect that more.

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

6 Friends

Yes, even bitchy me has six friends from childhood that I am still in contact with. They come out once a year to visit and have a good time.... and it IS a good time.

One of my friends quoted a movie. I think the movie was Stand by Me and it was the closing line. Pardon me if I butcher it, but it went something like this, "I would give anything to have friends like I did when I was 12 years-old. But then.... Jesus.... doesn't everybody?"

I am fortunate enough to say that I still do have the friends I had when I was 12....