M's Ex-Boyfriend - Dodged a Bullet

Some months back I blogged about M's boyfriend - disaster touchdown.  See, M got divorced thinking that there were tons of Prince Charmings out there just waiting for to be in a meaningful relationship.

Not.

Yes, M's ex-husband is a bag of issues plus some.  However, he was a decent provider and loved their kids to the best of his f** cupped ability.  I guess he loved M, too....to the best of his ability.  M's ex husband is a broken man.  I can say this as I have known him for 20 years.

I don't really blame M for divorcing her husband.  He was a controlling jerk.  However, since M's divorce the guys she's dated make her ex-husband glow in holiness in comparison.  Personally, I would have never thought that possible unless I witnessed it firsthand.

The guy M was serious about, let's just call him N, actually moved in with her.  N inherited a wad of cash that he blew on trips, drugs, women, cars, etc.  N was financially hurting when he got involved with M.  See, M had the paid off house and was more than willing to cook, clean, and take care of N. N saw an instant meal ticket.   All M wanted in return was that he get his proverbial feces together and file back taxes, get a bank account, get insurance, etc., and that running away from adult responsibilities was not cool.

Myself and one other friend of M's voiced our honest opinions about N.  There was one point where I thought M would never speak to me again because I was to brutally up front about what I felt.  Myself and another close friend of M's  saw disaster.

Well, M finally got wise and dumped N.  She told him to move out and take all his stuff with him.  I forgot to mention that N is a raging alcoholic who routinely passes out in people's yards walking home from the bars.  Still, the breakup really hurt M.  For whatever reason, she truly cared about him.  All I and another close friend saw was that she would be forever straddled with this irresponsible man-child.  I had future visons of M pushing him around in a wheel chair and changing his depends.

Well, I just got word that N has cancer and has 3-5 years to live.  M dodged a bullet.  Thank God she broke up with him.  Not only would have N dragged down M financially, she would be playing hospice nurse.

N's own daughter does not even want him.  She is a new mother and has a husband who can see right through N's bull.  This fledgling young family has not time for a lying, alcoholic, dependent, albatross weighing them down.  N needs to look elsewhere for sympathy.

N's is now in the hospital.  M goes to visit.  N sets off all monitoring alarms as M enters as he thinks M is there to take him home and 'take care of' him.  Nope.  She just wanted to say hi and wish him well.  The look of desperation in N's eyes is too much for M.  M truly cares about N but just can't handle the burden of taking care of him as he was a lying ass during their relationship.  He is not her responsibility.  That's the curse of being a person who cares about others and M feel guilty.  Yes, their relationship is over but she still wanted to stop by to wish N well.

What went wrong for N and why doesn't anybody want to be by his side during his dying days?  Here goes.

N dodged personal responsibility all his life.  He lied, cheated, stole, and broke many hearts along the way.  He didn't care back then.  People were pawns he used for his own personal gain, whatever that happened to be at the moment.  Now he's faced with terminal cancer.  He's alone.  He needs somebody.  His tune has suddenly changed and he's now trying to desperately cling to anybody he thinks can help him.  Nobody is answering his pleas as he's crapped on everybody.

Karma.

Ain't she a bitch.

The Breakup

M and her boyfriend broke up about 6 months ago.  M is a VERY good friend of mine.  Personally, I was glad she broke up with him as he was nothing but a 6'6" overgrown, irresponsible, flaky, drunk infant.  He can't have a checking account, hasn't filed taxes in years, runs an illegal business for cash under the table, does not have health insurance or any other kind of insurance, and has blown through his inheritance with dumb purchases, chasing women, booze, and vacations to god only knows where.

...and that is the type of guy she's crying over.....

I told M to thank her lucky stars she had the courage to break up with him.  A future with him?  Really?  Does she want to be stuck with him only to have to spoon feed him, push him around in a wheel chair, and change his diapers when he injures himself falling down the stairs in a drunken stupor?   It's only a matter of time.  If she waited that long to dump him she would have felt the guilt of abandoning somebody in a time of need.  Breaking up with him was a preemptive strike. 

Now it's the photos on Facebook that has M all in a tizzy with the ex and a new woman.  Good.  I told M she should thank the new love interest for taking that train wreck of a man off her shoulders and relieving her.  Of course the ex-boyfriend and the girlfriend are all goo-goo-gushy on FB right now.  The relationship is new and the facade the ex-boyfriend puts on has not been exposed.  The new woman has not figured him out yet.  Give it time.  Just wait until the new girlfriend figures out that he's really flat broke despite the glitz and flash and has a SERIOUS drinking problem and lives with his married, adult daughter because he can't sign a lease because of his poor credit. 

This guy is a prize?  Really M?  You're crying over HIM?  The new woman's prize will be sleeping with this snoring drunk and passed out 300 pound 6'6" gorilla in her bed with 'erectile dysfunction' issues with no money and no real job.  Wow.  Lucky new girlfriend.  Maybe I should say it will be her surPRIZE. 

M is better off.  She just doesn't quite feel it yet.  Her head says to run, but he still has her heart.  She dodged a bullet.  M, take your newly found independence and RUN.   M, I don't care if you're crying the entire way.  RUN. 

Shit Boyfriends

More shit lines I've recovered from my diaries in regards to men being bad dates.  I can't make this stuff up, people.  More men to avoid if they have ever said to you:

1.  Should't we be having sex by now?  You make the arrangements and let me know.

2.  Don't you just love (fill in the blank with movie star/model)?  She is the most beautiful woman on earth (note to men:  NEVER go goo-goo over another woman in the presence of your supposed girlfriend/wife.  It's like having your average dick compared to King Dong).

3.  Babe, can we take your car?  Mine's in need of maintenance and I don't want to put any more miles on it or use up my gas.  I need a full tank for my weekend.

4.  I really miss you, babe.  You should buy yourself a ticket and come here to have sex.

5.  Want to hear a poem/song I wrote for my ex? 

6.  I don't know what i did wrong.... I lost my ex and now I have (yawn) you.  I would do anything to have my ex back and our life like it was. 

7.  I hate to dine and dash.  See you soon?  (as he kisses you on the cheek and disappears from restaurant leaving you with tab).

8.  Can I borrow money to pay off my ex's engagement ring that she never returned?  

Going forward my defense walls will be impenetrable.  Honestly, I think I'd be just fine living alone in a one bedroom studio with a bunch of cats.  Those women aren't so dumb.  At least a cat won't ask for money to pay for ex girlfriends.