M's Ex-Boyfriend - Dodged a Bullet

Some months back I blogged about M's boyfriend - disaster touchdown.  See, M got divorced thinking that there were tons of Prince Charmings out there just waiting for to be in a meaningful relationship.

Not.

Yes, M's ex-husband is a bag of issues plus some.  However, he was a decent provider and loved their kids to the best of his f** cupped ability.  I guess he loved M, too....to the best of his ability.  M's ex husband is a broken man.  I can say this as I have known him for 20 years.

I don't really blame M for divorcing her husband.  He was a controlling jerk.  However, since M's divorce the guys she's dated make her ex-husband glow in holiness in comparison.  Personally, I would have never thought that possible unless I witnessed it firsthand.

The guy M was serious about, let's just call him N, actually moved in with her.  N inherited a wad of cash that he blew on trips, drugs, women, cars, etc.  N was financially hurting when he got involved with M.  See, M had the paid off house and was more than willing to cook, clean, and take care of N. N saw an instant meal ticket.   All M wanted in return was that he get his proverbial feces together and file back taxes, get a bank account, get insurance, etc., and that running away from adult responsibilities was not cool.

Myself and one other friend of M's voiced our honest opinions about N.  There was one point where I thought M would never speak to me again because I was to brutally up front about what I felt.  Myself and another close friend of M's  saw disaster.

Well, M finally got wise and dumped N.  She told him to move out and take all his stuff with him.  I forgot to mention that N is a raging alcoholic who routinely passes out in people's yards walking home from the bars.  Still, the breakup really hurt M.  For whatever reason, she truly cared about him.  All I and another close friend saw was that she would be forever straddled with this irresponsible man-child.  I had future visons of M pushing him around in a wheel chair and changing his depends.

Well, I just got word that N has cancer and has 3-5 years to live.  M dodged a bullet.  Thank God she broke up with him.  Not only would have N dragged down M financially, she would be playing hospice nurse.

N's own daughter does not even want him.  She is a new mother and has a husband who can see right through N's bull.  This fledgling young family has not time for a lying, alcoholic, dependent, albatross weighing them down.  N needs to look elsewhere for sympathy.

N's is now in the hospital.  M goes to visit.  N sets off all monitoring alarms as M enters as he thinks M is there to take him home and 'take care of' him.  Nope.  She just wanted to say hi and wish him well.  The look of desperation in N's eyes is too much for M.  M truly cares about N but just can't handle the burden of taking care of him as he was a lying ass during their relationship.  He is not her responsibility.  That's the curse of being a person who cares about others and M feel guilty.  Yes, their relationship is over but she still wanted to stop by to wish N well.

What went wrong for N and why doesn't anybody want to be by his side during his dying days?  Here goes.

N dodged personal responsibility all his life.  He lied, cheated, stole, and broke many hearts along the way.  He didn't care back then.  People were pawns he used for his own personal gain, whatever that happened to be at the moment.  Now he's faced with terminal cancer.  He's alone.  He needs somebody.  His tune has suddenly changed and he's now trying to desperately cling to anybody he thinks can help him.  Nobody is answering his pleas as he's crapped on everybody.

Karma.

Ain't she a bitch.