Shit Boyfriends

More shit lines I've recovered from my diaries in regards to men being bad dates.  I can't make this stuff up, people.  More men to avoid if they have ever said to you:

1.  Should't we be having sex by now?  You make the arrangements and let me know.

2.  Don't you just love (fill in the blank with movie star/model)?  She is the most beautiful woman on earth (note to men:  NEVER go goo-goo over another woman in the presence of your supposed girlfriend/wife.  It's like having your average dick compared to King Dong).

3.  Babe, can we take your car?  Mine's in need of maintenance and I don't want to put any more miles on it or use up my gas.  I need a full tank for my weekend.

4.  I really miss you, babe.  You should buy yourself a ticket and come here to have sex.

5.  Want to hear a poem/song I wrote for my ex? 

6.  I don't know what i did wrong.... I lost my ex and now I have (yawn) you.  I would do anything to have my ex back and our life like it was. 

7.  I hate to dine and dash.  See you soon?  (as he kisses you on the cheek and disappears from restaurant leaving you with tab).

8.  Can I borrow money to pay off my ex's engagement ring that she never returned?  

Going forward my defense walls will be impenetrable.  Honestly, I think I'd be just fine living alone in a one bedroom studio with a bunch of cats.  Those women aren't so dumb.  At least a cat won't ask for money to pay for ex girlfriends. 

Looking Back to Go Forward

I keep hearing from different sources that I should write a book based on my diaries.  I'm not sure if keeping a diary since 3rd grade automatically constitutes a book -- especially based on my pathetic life. 

I think what I can share of value to women is the kind of man NOT to date.  Here are the top ten warning lines.  If you hear them you should run. 

1.  I will never hurt you;
2.  I'm not like the other guys you've been with;
3.  You mean more to me than sex;
4.  Her?  She means NOTHING to me.  We're over;
5.  I'm hanging out with my mom/kids this weekend;
6.  I'm a little short on cash this month, would you mind...........;
7.  I like us "undefined"
8.  We had this date/outing/event planned.  I HAD to bring her;
9.  Babe, what 'cha doing?  It's midnight and I need you to come over NOW despite that you're  comfortably asleep;
10.  Why are you so upset?  It's not like we're married or anything.