Miss Manners has it down correctly -- there is no polite way to solicit nor expect any kind of gift from anybody no matter the life event. There is no polite way to direct people to how to spend their money. Miss Manners is appalled by the offensive suggestion that wedding guests contribute to the honeymoon, mortgage payment, future baby college fund, whatever. I completely agree with Miss Manners.
Begging has gone beyond the shabbily dressed bums on the corner holding cardboard signs.
They are now college educated people of decent means who cleverly devised the "gift registry" (which was tacky enough all in itself) and brought it to the technical age of online begging. Somehow, this self-absorbed crop of the already privileged sees no shame in directing friends and relatives to "fund" their exorbitant trips abroad and have developed an entire industry thinking it's OK for society to follow their lead.
Creators of this offensive practice claim that they are doing friends and family a favor by taking the guess work out of gift giving. However, the creators fail to realize that no matter the motive, there is no tasteful way - not even moderately decent way - of directing present-giving when you are on the receiving end.
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