The ArtEEST

I guy I work with is singing the blues.  Why?  Because his wife has delved into a career of art that pays NOTHING.  Yes, it's costs $75,000 + to get your art degree, but that does not translate into a job that pays more than a Starbucks barista.  The Starbucks barista is money ahead.  The joke is on the idiot who shelled out mega bucks for the art degree for nothing. 

Sure, it's art is like acting.  Very few will make it big and even fewer will make it rich.  Still, it does not deter the artsy-fartsy, intellectual wannabees who stick a fork into a ball of twine and call it ART THAT SPEAKS.  OMFG!!!!  Let's make an exhibit!!!!!  I have a broomstick with a string of lights that wraps around the handle to balance the effect! We can stare at it for hours! 

Hey, I can appreciate a fork stuck in a ball of twine, and also a broomstick with lights strung around the handle.  I don't need a $75,000 degree for it, either.  Just don't ask me to pay your bills for you when your career flops. 

Remember this mantra............... "I'll have a grande, non-fat, latte with an extra shot." 

Facebook: Who needs a Private Investigator?

Soooooooo ready to delete my Facebook account, but just how would I know what everybody is up to?  Not that I really care, but it's amazing what personal information people post about themselves and they *think* they're being private, hip, and coy when they're really not.  My favorite is the map pin.  My other favorite is the RSVP feature to social events.  Oh, and don't forget the wall posts that you thought nobody would ever read.  We do. 

See, people think that what they're posting only pertains to them.  Most are too technically naive to put together that Facebook keeps changing their privacy settings.  You may have YOURS set, but do your friends?  It's soooooooo easy to penetrate a "friend" network to see what's really going on.  It's child's play for hackers. 

Shit, I'm not even a Class A hacker.   I'm not even a Class B hacker.   More relationships and marriages have been ruined because of Facebook.  Rightfully so.  Idiots. 

More Orphans

My house continues to be the place where teens seek refuge when they are lost and have no where else to go. I don't know how I ended up with so many kids as I only gave birth to two (one has successfully launched, so now I'm technically down to raising one). 

In a weird, sick way I love it when they call me "mom" and tell me their problems.  I don't have any magic answers, but fresh home-made popcorn always makes everything better, right? 

Superbowl Sunday

Better get to Safeway and pick up your chicken wings now before they are sold out.  This year will be different as the staple party that has been going on for 15+ years is not happening this year.  I guess the hostess has finally reached her limit, too.  In turning the tables, I've invited the hostess to my house for a reprieve and also a hiding place to escape the people who did not get the clue that she was serious about not hosting 100+ people this year. 

Her party was always HUGE.  I can appreciate the prep work, work, and then clean up that's involved.  I don't blame her for wanting a break.  It's astounding how many people take the party as a given and are planning on showing up at her house anyway despite the repeated warnings that she is not hosting this year. 

That's why the hostess will not be home. 

Come Superbowl Sunday the doors to her house will be locked, blinds will be closed, and angry dog will be running loose in the yard.  Hostess will be at my house for a well deserved break this year eating crab, chicken wings, etc., etc.... and not worrying about the unattended children with muddy shoes jumping on her bed. 

Sandy Weill: Bought Sonoma County

Sonoma County has been bought by the crooked AIG Jew bastard Sandy Weill, et all.  Not only did he manage to reap huge profits whilst bilking monies from taxpayers and other unsuspecting souls contributing to the worst banking scandal in history, he now wants to claim redemption by giving money to the sham "SSU Ethics" program (which will withhold telling any truths against crooked donor), and the Green Music Center in attempt to build Sandy's image as SUCH A NICE, GENEROUS GUY!!!!!

Gag me.

It doesn't stop there.  He now is party to the purchase of the Santa Rosa Press Democrat which now shamelessly plugs his Green Music Center -- complete with photos of his wife hob-nobbing it up with other celebrity wannabees.

The icing on the cake is now the Press Democrat will resume endorsing political candidates (which was a policy Halifax did not allow).  We've all been bought by AIG.  The newsprint media will tell us how to vote, how to think, and that Sandy Weill is SUCH A NICE GUY. Coincidence?  I think not. 

What's tragic is that Sandy is not even a native to the area.  He's a johnny-come-lately-Sonoma-County-is-chic asswipe foreigner.

Fuck you, Sandy, and the Range Rover you drove in on.  You are not, and never will be, welcome by the true people of Sonoma County.  The only people who welcome you are the monied first generation transplants.  You do not know our soul.  Please leave so we can have our county back. 

The Ultimate Shit Insult

Seems like I attract assholes, losers, and users.  I'm working on that.  I've been bitching about shit boyfriends and the worst lines on earth.  Here's the number #1 of all time

I used YOUR money to hire prostitutes, but I REALLY LOVE YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUU.

Shit Boyfriends

More shit lines I've recovered from my diaries in regards to men being bad dates.  I can't make this stuff up, people.  More men to avoid if they have ever said to you:

1.  Should't we be having sex by now?  You make the arrangements and let me know.

2.  Don't you just love (fill in the blank with movie star/model)?  She is the most beautiful woman on earth (note to men:  NEVER go goo-goo over another woman in the presence of your supposed girlfriend/wife.  It's like having your average dick compared to King Dong).

3.  Babe, can we take your car?  Mine's in need of maintenance and I don't want to put any more miles on it or use up my gas.  I need a full tank for my weekend.

4.  I really miss you, babe.  You should buy yourself a ticket and come here to have sex.

5.  Want to hear a poem/song I wrote for my ex? 

6.  I don't know what i did wrong.... I lost my ex and now I have (yawn) you.  I would do anything to have my ex back and our life like it was. 

7.  I hate to dine and dash.  See you soon?  (as he kisses you on the cheek and disappears from restaurant leaving you with tab).

8.  Can I borrow money to pay off my ex's engagement ring that she never returned?  

Going forward my defense walls will be impenetrable.  Honestly, I think I'd be just fine living alone in a one bedroom studio with a bunch of cats.  Those women aren't so dumb.  At least a cat won't ask for money to pay for ex girlfriends. 

-40 Below: The Rodeo Song

It's a been a while since this song has been on the playlist.  Global warming has almost made it a nostalgic memory of days of yore.  The cold blast the upper Midwest is now experiencing sparked this tacky, yet devilishly delightful, song back into the airwaves....

Looking Back to Go Forward

I keep hearing from different sources that I should write a book based on my diaries.  I'm not sure if keeping a diary since 3rd grade automatically constitutes a book -- especially based on my pathetic life. 

I think what I can share of value to women is the kind of man NOT to date.  Here are the top ten warning lines.  If you hear them you should run. 

1.  I will never hurt you;
2.  I'm not like the other guys you've been with;
3.  You mean more to me than sex;
4.  Her?  She means NOTHING to me.  We're over;
5.  I'm hanging out with my mom/kids this weekend;
6.  I'm a little short on cash this month, would you mind...........;
7.  I like us "undefined"
8.  We had this date/outing/event planned.  I HAD to bring her;
9.  Babe, what 'cha doing?  It's midnight and I need you to come over NOW despite that you're  comfortably asleep;
10.  Why are you so upset?  It's not like we're married or anything.

Get Your Furry Freak On: FURther CONfusion San Jose

It all started with a pair of cheetah print UGGS and an insider's understanding to the Furry community.  Yup, that was my 'gateway' drug to appreciating the underground world of the Furries.  Your school mascot is probably a part of this society that just wants to have fun.  I love people who dare to have the confidence to expand the boundaries of what is considered  the norms of society.  A freak fest at its best.  I love it. 

Vegas?  Forget it.  Tacky celebrity impersonators and strippers have nothing on FURther CONfusion in San Jose, California.  What happens in San Jose, stays in San Jose.......  party on if you can party on with the communist party. 

The best part is getting reactions from 'muggels' who stumble upon Furries freely frolicking in the San Jose Marriott lobby.  The high school volleyball tournament participants were surely shocked as  judging by their giggles, pointed fingers, and stares from down the hallway.  Some the volleyball players dared to approach the Furries to get their picture taken.  I'm sure the helicopter "bored moms on prozac" lectured their daughters to STAY AWAY FROM THESE DANGEROUS FREAKS...  THEY WILL WARP YOU AND CAUSE YOU HARM!!!!!

The joke is on the Bored Moms on Prozac.  Furries are the most non-judgmental, peaceful, fun-loving group out there.  Relax, Bored Moms on Prozac. 

Obama Care 2014

We are less than 12 months away from the largest social program implementation since Social Security and Medicare.  I'm talking about ObamaCare.  Love it or hate it, it's coming..... ready or not.
My guess is that your employer (if you're fortunate enough to have one that actually puts you on the payroll and does not slip you cash under the table) is clueless as to how this important change is going to play into your life and well-being.  If you ask your employer what the changes coming in 2014 mean to you, you will get a vacuous stare and a feeble attempt to pass you off to the head of human resources.  Head of human resources has no clue, either. 

We are requiring all to purchase health insurance.  Great.  I thought all drivers needed to have auto insurance and a license, also.  Somehow uninsured, unlicensed drivers are plentiful.  Those conscientious enough to get auto insurance pay for those who choose not to.  How are we going to enforce the health insurance mandate?  Turn them away at the ER?  Send them a bill for services rendered they will never pay?  Garnish wages when they get cash under the table? 

Good luck.....

Kept Woman

I'm amazed at how easy some women have it.  I have never been supported financially.  I've always been a breadwinner.  I guess it's not in my being to sit home, watch Dr. Phil and demand some guy buy me material things to impress the other bored moms on prozac.  Not working outside the home full-time was not an option. 

What's it like to have somebody pay the bills, balance the checkbook, plan for retirement, etc., etc., etc., while going around on autopilot obsessing about the gluten content in the 3rd grade Valentine's Day cupcake exchange?  What's it like to have the time to worry about which shade of 'shaker beige' will best suit the dining room?  What's it like to have time to post pictures of food on Facebook? 

I want to be a kept woman for a while....  what a change of pace that would be. 

Sasquatch Sightings

Just what would people do if Sasquatch was actually sighted and captured?  All the so-called "professional" Sasquatch chasers would be out of work.  Then what would Animal Planet show on Wednesday evenings? 

I find it hard to believe that with today's infra-red technology, GPS capabilities, and also satellite imagery capabilities that can zoom in on a gnat's ass from 30,000 feet Sasquatch can still elude the thousands of hunters that scour North America on a full-time basis -- complete with a weekly television show. 

....and for the record, that's not Sasquatch droppings you're picking up, rubbing in your fingers and sniffing...... it's bear shit....

After Christmas Calm

I love the week after Christmas.  The world takes a collective deep breath and all the hustle and bustle that pushes the stress level off the charts is finally over with.  All the Christmas decorations are still up.  The goodwill of the season is definately still in the air.  Forced togetherness of family events is over :)  

That brings me to New Years. 

New Years is one of my favorite holidays.  Why?  Everybody is eating and drinking because the self-restrictive resolutions have not yet taken effect.  Nobody is expected to show up anywhere with a trunk load of gifts for unappreciative recipients.  Nobody is expected to travel across the country for a New Years party.  YOU GET TO HANG OUT (guilt free) WITH YOUR FRIENDS/PEOPLE OF CHOICE rather than deal with extended family or inlaws :)  :)   :)