What Republicans Are Doing Wrong

1.  Gawd.... they are sooooooo white and dorky;
2.  They are men, white, and dorky;
3.  They are white, dorky, men;
4.  They are dorky, OLD, white men;
5.  They wear suits.  Nobody wears suits unless you're a slick Wall Street scumbag trying to swindle;
6.  Get a cool hair cut.  The comb over is so.... well.... OVER.  
7.  Their wives are submissive baby factories not allowed to think for themselves;
8.  Ditch the Bible quotes and Christian right-wing nut jobs.  You could attract moderates if you did not grovel to that retarded voting base;
9.  Stop driving Dodge mini-vans with WWJD stickers on the back and your stupid-ass stick family decals on the rear window.  
10.  Do you have a political satire show that's actually intellectual and FUNNY?
11.  REMOVE STICK FROM ASS!