No, thank you

 Please do not confuse no, thank you with no thank you.

I'm at that point in my life where my kids' friends are getting married and whatnot.  I have one friend with four kids.  When the first one got married we were out of town, but sent a gift.  Months later we received a preprinted postcard stating how happy they were we could be there to share their special day (we were not) and for the gift.  Nothing was personalized and even the signature was preprinted.  It had all the warmth of receiving an advertisement in the mail addressed to "resident." 

Strike one.

The next kid because of COVID had a very small wedding.  Only immediate family was included in the ceremony.  I get it.  Still, I sent a check and a card to wish the couple well.  They managed to find a pen immediately to sign and cash the check, but can't find a pen to acknowledge the gift.  

Strike two.

Now, the third kid is getting married this fall.  

Do I hold the etiquette crimes of the two older siblings against this one by refusing to send a gift?  The other siblings have pattern of being ingrates, and it's presumed this one does as well.  Please, don't scoff that "nobody sends personalized thank you cards any longer."  Take that attitude if you will, but also accept that, "nobody sends gifts any longer." 

I'm saying "No, thank you" to those who send no thank you.