Merry Christmas?

The month of December is filled with food, parties, and festivities.  It's been non-stop since pretty much since Thanksgiving.  Having Mercury in retrograde the first part of the month did not help at all.  The stress levels were through the roof, not so much with my family, but with work.  I can't even begin to go into detail as you would not believe it.  Let's just say that it's newsworthy.

This Christmas we decided to scale back on gift giving.  Guess what.  Nobody was sad nor disappointed.  Everybody was relieved and could actually relax and just focus on being together rather than fighting hordes of people for yet more stuff we don't really need.  We did not even wrap the gifts that we got - just left them in a bag or its original box.  It's just one small contribution to not filling up landfills with paper.  Granted, my Martha Stewart friend would have had a fit seeing my plain, brown boxes under the tree as hers are all meticulously wrapped, color coordinated and placed ever so carefully under the tree in matching paper and bows.

Sorry, Martha Stewart doesn't live here.

By the numbers of people here on Christmas Eve and Christmas Morning they don't care that Martha Stewart doesn't live here, either.  The guest of honor was a 94 year-old woman.  She's a spunky thing.  She arrived all dressed up complete with her hair done and make-up.  Just think of the changes she has seen in Sonoma County in her 94 years.  Yup, she was born and raised here.  Just listening to her talk is a history lesson......and......she likes her gin.  God Bless her.

This Christmas Morning people arrived earlier than usual, and stayed later than usual. I guess I take that as a compliment however exhausting it is.  After the houseful finally emptied out I thought I would call my parents in Minnesota to wish them a Merry Christmas.  I talk to my parents about once a week.  When I called and my mother answered the phone I said, "Merry Christmas!!  What are you all up to today?"

There was an uncomfortable silence on the other end.  I recognized that sound of silence from my mother.  It was not good.  She flatly blurted out, "Your father has emphazema (sp?) and is on oxygen and your Uncle Buzz has colon cancer."

Huh????  Come again????

It did not stop there.  My mother went on that her best friend, who was like an aunt to me growing up, only has days to live.

Huh???  Come again????  Merry Christmas?????????????????????

At that point my father got on the phone along with my mother.  I could hear the shortness of breath in his voice.  Humor always works in awkward situations, right?  He started to tell me of how my mother overcooked the Christmas ham.  OK.  That was my lead to start to play. Just *how* do you mess up baking a ham?  It's nearly impossible.  Let the fun-poking begin.

My father asked me how I cooked my hams.  It depends on if it's smoked or cured.  It depends on if it's bone-in spiral from Costco or whatever.  Regardless, I NEVER attempt to cook a ham from its frozen state.  It needs to THAW.  What my father does not really know is that everything I ever learned about scrumptious cooking I learned from watching his mother.  Well, my mother attempted to bake a ham from its frozen state and then wondered why it came out so poorly despite my father harping on her otherwise.

My mother has been cooking for my father for 60 years.  One would think......................

I'm not going to totally rip on mom, here.  She is really an excellent baker as was her mother.  Everybody has their strengths.  My mother can bake really awesome goodies.  If I did not think she had some skills in the kitchen I would not feel right about poking fun at her about the stupid ham. Personally, I can't really bake anything.  So there.  Mom has one up on me.

Still, the elephant was in the room about dad being on oxygen and having emphazema.  Exactly why my mother decided to let this news be known on Christmas Day is a mystery.  There were plenty of opportunities to communicate this news on any day other than Christmas.  However, it's not about me and how and when I receive the news.  It's about dad.

So today, after a strange shopping trip to Corte Madera with my daughter, I called my sister from my car on speakerphone with my daughter.  My sister and I both agreed that dad needs to get out of sub-zero weather for about 6-8 weeks during the winter.  I'm an empty nester with three open bedrooms.  I actually want to spend time with my parents despite my griping about whatever I thought they lacked raising me and how I'm a victim.  I'm done and over with blaming.  There comes a time to just love and forgive....no matter what.