Each year we participate in the Sonoma County 4H livestock auction. Each year I'm amazed at the greed when it's time to pick up and distribute the meat. This has been going on for several years. I pick up boxes and bring them to a meeting where the attendees help themselves to hams, bacon, sausage, pork steaks, pork chops, etc. It's on the honor system, which isn't so honorable.
Last year one attendee brought several humongous coolers and filled them all to the brim. He then had the audacity to complain that some of the meat had freezer burn (ha ha ha ha ha that should teach him to be so greedy). It did not. He again brought several coolers and helped himself while others stood in the background waiting for some leftovers.
Each year it's the same. The same people overload themselves and leave nothing but pig knuckles for those waiting patiently and with class and dignity. I could pre-portion the meat and deliver individually away from the group grab setting, but where is the fun in that? I want all to see who is a greedy jerk and who waits patiently..... elections are in two months....
Sunday, September 29, 2013
Friday, September 27, 2013
Toilet Paper
I think I have been at my job too long. Just when I thought I had heard it all, this is an official complaint from a female employee on a construction job site in San Francisco. Yes, I'm a woman in a historically man's occupation. Yes, I understand the dynamics women face day-in-and-day-out just trying to get our jobs done and also to be taken seriously. This ain't no day at the spa, sistah. You have not earned it yet. You chose this male-dominated career as did I. Don't fuck it up for the rest of us, betch. It's whiny bitches like you that put women back into the 1700's. Here is your official complaint as I read it....
"I needed to take an extended bathroom break as the toilets provided at the job site did not have toilet paper that was comfortable to my delicate privates. I needed to walk 4 blocks down to use the facilities at Union Bank as their toilets provide paper that is not irritating."
To which my immediate response was, "Why did not you just ask for the brand of toilet paper you prefer?"
At that point I instructed the employer to go to the nearest grocery store and purchase every brand of fluffier-than-thou toilet paper, including the Super Improved Angel Soft and personally hand it to Princess for her choosing.
We all know that Princess wanted the extended break on company time and expense. If she had terrible periods, fibroid tumors, endometriosis or other female issues that really deserved sympathy I would have taken a different stance. It's women like her that keep the rest of us down.
"I needed to take an extended bathroom break as the toilets provided at the job site did not have toilet paper that was comfortable to my delicate privates. I needed to walk 4 blocks down to use the facilities at Union Bank as their toilets provide paper that is not irritating."
To which my immediate response was, "Why did not you just ask for the brand of toilet paper you prefer?"
At that point I instructed the employer to go to the nearest grocery store and purchase every brand of fluffier-than-thou toilet paper, including the Super Improved Angel Soft and personally hand it to Princess for her choosing.
We all know that Princess wanted the extended break on company time and expense. If she had terrible periods, fibroid tumors, endometriosis or other female issues that really deserved sympathy I would have taken a different stance. It's women like her that keep the rest of us down.
Finally Friday
I'm rejoicing the fact that it is Friday. I'm also dreading the fact that there is only one more business day left in the month. I have absolutely NO idea what happened to September. It was Labor Day yesterday. Blink. Now it's end of the month. It seems like I'm cramming a month's worth of work into one week.
I'm not sure what it is exactly that makes September-December so extremely nutty busy. I think it's because people are lax over the summer. When their kids return to school, and they return to their offices they all of a sudden need to justify their jobs and distribute mountains of paperwork, meeting requests, reports, emails, and other useless noise that accomplishes nothing but sucks your life force like a vampire.
STFU ALREADY!!!!!!!!! LEAVE ME ALONE !!!! I HAVE A HEADACHE FROM YOUR BULLSHIT!!!!!
I'm not sure what it is exactly that makes September-December so extremely nutty busy. I think it's because people are lax over the summer. When their kids return to school, and they return to their offices they all of a sudden need to justify their jobs and distribute mountains of paperwork, meeting requests, reports, emails, and other useless noise that accomplishes nothing but sucks your life force like a vampire.
STFU ALREADY!!!!!!!!! LEAVE ME ALONE !!!! I HAVE A HEADACHE FROM YOUR BULLSHIT!!!!!
Wednesday, September 25, 2013
Michelle Fenyves: Go Back
Not exactly sure who Michelle Fenyves is, but I'm sure she's a recent arrival from Marin or some other place where the Bored Moms on Prozac are overpopulating and came to Sonoma County for fresh ears to listen to her demanding, obnoxious whining.
Not so fast there, Michelle... remember... plenty of NRA enthusiasts around here looking for target practice. Think about it. Oh yeah.... that X on your back is getting bigger and BIGGER. It's not peanuts and gluten you should be fearing....
Let's see if I have this straight... both your (cough, cough) precious darlings are so allergic to peanuts that they will die if within a 500' radius of kids who happen to LOVE their peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. So, the world is supposed to cave and revolve around these two entitled brats accordingly to their whiny, bitchy mother.
Dear Michelle, if it's that much of a life threatening situation to have peanuts and milk around your brats, PLEASE HOME SCHOOL YOUR CHILDREN or send them to PUBLIC school in bubble wrap. It's not society's responsibility to cater to your kids' specific health needs. Tell your kids to wear gloves, a mask, and not to touch anything. Why try to demand behavior modification from those who are not affected? Oh..... because the world revolves around YOU!!!!! I get it.
What's next??? Blaming the school system for colds and flu? They all do hold hands, you know....and climb on the same playground equipment, and breathe the same air.
It's people like you, Michelle, who are ruining Sonoma County.....I'm pissed that the PD gave you front page coverage. It only encourages more whining from your type.
Not so fast there, Michelle... remember... plenty of NRA enthusiasts around here looking for target practice. Think about it. Oh yeah.... that X on your back is getting bigger and BIGGER. It's not peanuts and gluten you should be fearing....
Let's see if I have this straight... both your (cough, cough) precious darlings are so allergic to peanuts that they will die if within a 500' radius of kids who happen to LOVE their peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. So, the world is supposed to cave and revolve around these two entitled brats accordingly to their whiny, bitchy mother.
Dear Michelle, if it's that much of a life threatening situation to have peanuts and milk around your brats, PLEASE HOME SCHOOL YOUR CHILDREN or send them to PUBLIC school in bubble wrap. It's not society's responsibility to cater to your kids' specific health needs. Tell your kids to wear gloves, a mask, and not to touch anything. Why try to demand behavior modification from those who are not affected? Oh..... because the world revolves around YOU!!!!! I get it.
What's next??? Blaming the school system for colds and flu? They all do hold hands, you know....and climb on the same playground equipment, and breathe the same air.
It's people like you, Michelle, who are ruining Sonoma County.....I'm pissed that the PD gave you front page coverage. It only encourages more whining from your type.
Tuesday, September 24, 2013
Bank of America SUCKS!!!!!
Like I don't have anything else to do this week.... end of the month, end of the quarter, insurance renewals, meetings and then more meetings.... I've been going non-stop.
Because I work such weird hours I often use the depositories located on the outside of the banks because it's often after-hours before I can get my bank runs in. I use the depositories because it's for work and I never get cash back. We don't deal in cash, just checks... that makes tracking simple, or so I thought.
I use several banks for the different entities I manage and I've noticed that Bank of America is fucking up more than usual. It's getting so bad that I'm going to close the accounts I have there despite that changing banks is a massive pain-in-the ass. I think Bank of America is so huge and so massive that the left hand does not know what the right hand is doing.
Here's my banking nightmare du jour....
When balancing the B of A checking account I noticed that a deposit I made about 6 weeks ago was not reflected on the statement.... hmmmmmmm... I went online to see if it was reflected there. It was not. Hmmmmmmmm... Bank of America has no record of it whatsoever. Thank goddesses I insist on having all checks and accompanying paperwork scanned. I went back to the deposit I show in my computer system and sheepishly contacted all the companies I received checks from that made up that one deposit asking if it cleared on their end. I thought for a moment prior to sending out the inquiry that perhaps I had done something stupid with the deposit like putting it in the US mail or having it slip under my car seat, or dropped somewhere en route.
Today I heard back from two of the companies stating that the checks in question had in fact cleared on their end...it was not a dumb move on my part. Now.... just WHERE exactly did Bank of America deposit the money to? This is going to require energy and time on my part to get this bank error fixed.
Like I don't have anything else to do.... I don't want to babysit Bank of America.
Because I work such weird hours I often use the depositories located on the outside of the banks because it's often after-hours before I can get my bank runs in. I use the depositories because it's for work and I never get cash back. We don't deal in cash, just checks... that makes tracking simple, or so I thought.
I use several banks for the different entities I manage and I've noticed that Bank of America is fucking up more than usual. It's getting so bad that I'm going to close the accounts I have there despite that changing banks is a massive pain-in-the ass. I think Bank of America is so huge and so massive that the left hand does not know what the right hand is doing.
Here's my banking nightmare du jour....
When balancing the B of A checking account I noticed that a deposit I made about 6 weeks ago was not reflected on the statement.... hmmmmmmm... I went online to see if it was reflected there. It was not. Hmmmmmmmm... Bank of America has no record of it whatsoever. Thank goddesses I insist on having all checks and accompanying paperwork scanned. I went back to the deposit I show in my computer system and sheepishly contacted all the companies I received checks from that made up that one deposit asking if it cleared on their end. I thought for a moment prior to sending out the inquiry that perhaps I had done something stupid with the deposit like putting it in the US mail or having it slip under my car seat, or dropped somewhere en route.
Today I heard back from two of the companies stating that the checks in question had in fact cleared on their end...it was not a dumb move on my part. Now.... just WHERE exactly did Bank of America deposit the money to? This is going to require energy and time on my part to get this bank error fixed.
Like I don't have anything else to do.... I don't want to babysit Bank of America.
Friday, September 20, 2013
The New iPhone
Today I was up at the crack of dawn to attend a meeting in San Leandro. While I was washing the sleep out of my eyes, I turned on the morning television news. What a mistake. All I heard over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over again was about the idiots camped out awaiting the release of the newest iPhone version . They had been standing in line for two days. I doubt they even have jobs. Just how in the hell do unemployed losers afford $500 iPhones? No matter. They will cry in extra pain on cue when examined by the workers' compensation designated doctor to maximize their settlement.
Anyway....that's not the rant I'm going to go off on today....
When the KTVU Norman Neet the Man on the Street interviewed the workers' compensation/welfare milkers as to exactly WHY they were standing in line for the newest iPhone the answers ranged from:
1. The new iPhone has fingerprint scanning technology to authenticate internet purchases;
2. The new iPhone has voice recognition software to authenticate ownership making the digital passcode obsolete;
3. The new iPhone has retinae scan capability to make sure your Facebook posts are really your own.
OK..... I live near Silicon Valley and deal with their techno-bullshit on a daily basis. This is my simpleton approach.... why not just have the iPhone suppository micro chip inserted into your ASS as you want to track and account for every phone call, email, text message, internet purchase, facebook post, twitter update, music download, video upload, blah, blah, blah, blah.........
You dumb fuckers are standing IN LINE to have Big Brother track your every move. Dumb shits. You all need to develop filters and limits to this modern day wonder...
Anyway....that's not the rant I'm going to go off on today....
When the KTVU Norman Neet the Man on the Street interviewed the workers' compensation/welfare milkers as to exactly WHY they were standing in line for the newest iPhone the answers ranged from:
1. The new iPhone has fingerprint scanning technology to authenticate internet purchases;
2. The new iPhone has voice recognition software to authenticate ownership making the digital passcode obsolete;
3. The new iPhone has retinae scan capability to make sure your Facebook posts are really your own.
OK..... I live near Silicon Valley and deal with their techno-bullshit on a daily basis. This is my simpleton approach.... why not just have the iPhone suppository micro chip inserted into your ASS as you want to track and account for every phone call, email, text message, internet purchase, facebook post, twitter update, music download, video upload, blah, blah, blah, blah.........
You dumb fuckers are standing IN LINE to have Big Brother track your every move. Dumb shits. You all need to develop filters and limits to this modern day wonder...
Tuesday, September 17, 2013
D.C. Shootings: Gun Control?
A former Navy reservist open fired at the Navy Admin Headquarters in D.C. yesterday killing 12. I'm sure you've all heard as it's plastered all over the media ad nauseum. The timing and location hits uncomfortably close to home for Quiet Rage for reasons I can't disclose. This attack hit me on a personal level.
Although the motive has not yet been officially established, my guess is that the nut-case perpetrator has a string of being arrested and dismissed from jobs for being a dumb, volatile, violent asshole.
I know.... let's make accessible an AR-15 assault rife, a shotgun, and a semi-automatic pistol to people on the psychiatric edge!!!! What a GREAT idea!!!! They can go into places of former employment and take out innocents! So much for background checks.
I'm going to start a campain: Marajuana NOT guns.
If he had access to pot he may have been too mellow to even think about doing such a dastardly deed. I don't know who even NEEDS an AR-15 assault rifle, anyway. I can hear the NRA on my ass already for accusing me of giving away our constitutional right to bear arms. I've got news for the NRA. I agree for the right to 'bear arms' against our government. The intent was to give means for protection for the population from an overly oppressive, controlling central government. I completely agree with that. However, the second amendment is outdated. It was written in days where modern technology was not even in the wildest science fiction fantasies of our forefathers. 'Arms' has a totally new definition in the post 18th century.
In the age of artificial intelligence, drones, satellites, chemical warfare, bomber planes, atomic bombs, etc., waving an AR-15 assault rifle will not help you. The fascinating question is just how do we protect ourselves from oppression and censorship via technology when we all depend on it? The central government is unchecked monitoring our free speech and right to assemble by tagging trigger words spoken and typed over phones and internet activity without our consent. We are being intercepted and squashed before we can even organize ourselves for protest.
This is the evolved issue that the second amendment tried to address. In honor of the United States Constitution that was adopted on this very day in 1787 in Philadelphia, I respectfully pose intent of the second amendment and its relevance in the modern world to the authors. You will find me in a dark room with an Ouija board awaiting answers. LOL.
Although the motive has not yet been officially established, my guess is that the nut-case perpetrator has a string of being arrested and dismissed from jobs for being a dumb, volatile, violent asshole.
I know.... let's make accessible an AR-15 assault rife, a shotgun, and a semi-automatic pistol to people on the psychiatric edge!!!! What a GREAT idea!!!! They can go into places of former employment and take out innocents! So much for background checks.
I'm going to start a campain: Marajuana NOT guns.
If he had access to pot he may have been too mellow to even think about doing such a dastardly deed. I don't know who even NEEDS an AR-15 assault rifle, anyway. I can hear the NRA on my ass already for accusing me of giving away our constitutional right to bear arms. I've got news for the NRA. I agree for the right to 'bear arms' against our government. The intent was to give means for protection for the population from an overly oppressive, controlling central government. I completely agree with that. However, the second amendment is outdated. It was written in days where modern technology was not even in the wildest science fiction fantasies of our forefathers. 'Arms' has a totally new definition in the post 18th century.
In the age of artificial intelligence, drones, satellites, chemical warfare, bomber planes, atomic bombs, etc., waving an AR-15 assault rifle will not help you. The fascinating question is just how do we protect ourselves from oppression and censorship via technology when we all depend on it? The central government is unchecked monitoring our free speech and right to assemble by tagging trigger words spoken and typed over phones and internet activity without our consent. We are being intercepted and squashed before we can even organize ourselves for protest.
This is the evolved issue that the second amendment tried to address. In honor of the United States Constitution that was adopted on this very day in 1787 in Philadelphia, I respectfully pose intent of the second amendment and its relevance in the modern world to the authors. You will find me in a dark room with an Ouija board awaiting answers. LOL.
Sunday, September 15, 2013
Fun Sports Parents: They do Exist
Last night I hosted a reunion of sorts for a group of parents who had more fun than the kids on a youth sports team. I spent 6 years of my life traveling around with the same bunch. We had a blast during those years. We could not wait for the games to be over with so we could go back to the hotel, sit poolside, order pizzas, and crack open the coolers. The kids would swim and us parents would relax and crack open a few more coolers. Then the wine would come out.....then the tequila shots....next thing you knew everybody was in the pool. Yeah, some cell phones met their fate at the pool bottom, but we really did not care as it was just our annoying employers trying to call us with some stupid question. If it were truly an emergency, people knew which hotel we could be found at.
I think word got out that we were the "fun" team as our coaches would get calls from the coaches of other teams wondering which hotel we were all staying at so they could join in for the after game pool parties. During games and tournaments we were all competitive and had our game faces on jabbing the opposing team(s) with pseudo-insults. Afterwards we were all partying at the pool together laughing and joking.
Our team did end up winning a lot of tournaments, but it was not because we were super intense and anal retentive. I think it was because the kids and the parents had FUN.
I think word got out that we were the "fun" team as our coaches would get calls from the coaches of other teams wondering which hotel we were all staying at so they could join in for the after game pool parties. During games and tournaments we were all competitive and had our game faces on jabbing the opposing team(s) with pseudo-insults. Afterwards we were all partying at the pool together laughing and joking.
Our team did end up winning a lot of tournaments, but it was not because we were super intense and anal retentive. I think it was because the kids and the parents had FUN.
Thursday, September 12, 2013
Asshole and Bitch
Ever get *really* pissed of at somebody, but deep down you really like and care about them? Sometimes misunderstandings lead to feuds that can last several years destroying friendships, marriages, work relationships, etc. Look no farther than the Hatfield and McCoy's... the Montegues and the Capulets... I'm certain you can name at least one situation where communication has ceased due to hard feelings. You're muttering to yourself about that 'asshole'. The other person is muttering about you being a 'bitch.'
Still, those emotions still linger and try as you might to push it down, you often think about the person/event that pissed you off and find yourself obsessed about where it all broke apart. It's crazy making. There is no time machine as of yet to go backwards and right all the wrongs.
Life is short. Contact that person. The worst thing that can happen is that they hang up on you or shut the door in your face. However, I give odds in your favor that just the opposite will happen and you will rekindle a relationship that was just choking in its own toxic smoke. Chances are that person really was an asshole, and you really were a bitch. Own it and get over it.
Good Gawd... I sound like somebody in the 7 step AA program going around asking everybody I've ever pissed off for forgiveness... Well, it is Thursday night and I was invited to celebrate recovery LOL Well, if the shoe fits.....and the bottle is empty....why the hell not.
Still, those emotions still linger and try as you might to push it down, you often think about the person/event that pissed you off and find yourself obsessed about where it all broke apart. It's crazy making. There is no time machine as of yet to go backwards and right all the wrongs.
Life is short. Contact that person. The worst thing that can happen is that they hang up on you or shut the door in your face. However, I give odds in your favor that just the opposite will happen and you will rekindle a relationship that was just choking in its own toxic smoke. Chances are that person really was an asshole, and you really were a bitch. Own it and get over it.
Good Gawd... I sound like somebody in the 7 step AA program going around asking everybody I've ever pissed off for forgiveness... Well, it is Thursday night and I was invited to celebrate recovery LOL Well, if the shoe fits.....and the bottle is empty....why the hell not.
Tuesday, September 10, 2013
Things I Tried to Figure out as a Kid
There were some things I had tried to figure out as a kid that the adult world could never answer. Here goes...
1. If God loves everybody, does God love the devil, too?
2. If pesticides killed insects on crops, doesn't that poison people as well?
3. If dentists made money the more times you visited them with cavity fillings and such, why do they tell you to brush and floss?
That's just the residual ramblings from my inner 6 year-old trying to make sense of the world around her.
1. If God loves everybody, does God love the devil, too?
2. If pesticides killed insects on crops, doesn't that poison people as well?
3. If dentists made money the more times you visited them with cavity fillings and such, why do they tell you to brush and floss?
That's just the residual ramblings from my inner 6 year-old trying to make sense of the world around her.
Monday, September 9, 2013
Dance Class: Part II
I've been going to dance class for a while now. Even within the room of the student dancers there is an energy that is emitted when the music plays and us 'soul sistahs' gravitate toward each other. Today my African dance counterpart (a black woman) and myself were feeling especially feisty. There were quite a number of newbies in the class today. My African dance team mate gave me a sideways glance that said loudly and clearly, "Let's show 'em how it's done, sistah."
We took command of the floor and put so much soul into our moves James Brown himself would have blushed. Yeah... It's Salt -n- Peppa....
We took command of the floor and put so much soul into our moves James Brown himself would have blushed. Yeah... It's Salt -n- Peppa....
Female Respect
Women don't get any respect. I don't know why that is, but in order to be labeled as successful in this materialistic world we need to act like men. I've taken this role to heart. I've spent a quarter century thus far being the little girl warrior breaking down gender barriers in my occupation and in society in general.
It worked. I have respect from my colleagues and others in the community. Is this really who I am? No. My next challenge is to gain respect for my spiritual, ethereal, psychic (feminine) side that has been pushed down and latent in order to make room establishing a "real" career. "Real" meaning the more money you make, the more "real" your career is. It's a crappy standard our society has.
I've already proven to the world that I can cuss like a sailor. I can hold my own with any group of aggressive, dismissive men. God knows I've had decades of practice. While I have these guys figuratively by the balls, I'm going to introduce a dose of divine feminine power to them. Maybe they will see the wonder and magic..... or scream for mercy;)
It worked. I have respect from my colleagues and others in the community. Is this really who I am? No. My next challenge is to gain respect for my spiritual, ethereal, psychic (feminine) side that has been pushed down and latent in order to make room establishing a "real" career. "Real" meaning the more money you make, the more "real" your career is. It's a crappy standard our society has.
I've already proven to the world that I can cuss like a sailor. I can hold my own with any group of aggressive, dismissive men. God knows I've had decades of practice. While I have these guys figuratively by the balls, I'm going to introduce a dose of divine feminine power to them. Maybe they will see the wonder and magic..... or scream for mercy;)
Sunday, September 8, 2013
LinkedIn vs. Facebook: Which is Creepier?
Which is creepier Facebook or LinkedIn? I'm not exactly sure. Both are self-inflicted invasions of privacy as people LOVE to post their inflated, embellished accomplishments, education, etc., along with pictures of themselves being the attention whores they are. Whatever.
I've said this ad nauseum, but any social media is a hackers paradise. NEVER post anything you don't want the entire world to see. Awwwww... I just spoiled my own fun in watching you all step on your own dicks. I didn't even have to hack anything, either. My sharing this little tid bit will make me work a little harder, but your privacy settings (and your little friends, too) are only a nuisance that any junior hack can penetrate.
I'm getting off track. I get weird LinkedIn invites from people I'm not sure I know. Some of them I don't even WANT to know, or would ever admit to knowing. What creeps me out about LinkedIn is that it sends invitations from YOU to people without your knowledge or consent. Some of the people are a mutual, mutual, mutual, whatever and you've never even met. The thought of a software program scouring my mutual, mutual, mutual, (four times removed) community freaks me out.
Still, in the end, what's the pitfall? Is somebody going to steal my resume? I guess it's the idea of some software program sending out invitations from me that I did not personally initiate.
Again, it's some government sponsored program created for easily collecting information from the masses to track networks. You think I'm paranoid? Just to be sure.... just tell me of ONE person you know of who has received a job because of LinkedIn. Dead silence. Thought so. But you sure posted a GREAT pic of yourself complete with your life story. The CIA, NSA, FBI and NGA thanks you for your voluntary cooperation.
I've said this ad nauseum, but any social media is a hackers paradise. NEVER post anything you don't want the entire world to see. Awwwww... I just spoiled my own fun in watching you all step on your own dicks. I didn't even have to hack anything, either. My sharing this little tid bit will make me work a little harder, but your privacy settings (and your little friends, too) are only a nuisance that any junior hack can penetrate.
I'm getting off track. I get weird LinkedIn invites from people I'm not sure I know. Some of them I don't even WANT to know, or would ever admit to knowing. What creeps me out about LinkedIn is that it sends invitations from YOU to people without your knowledge or consent. Some of the people are a mutual, mutual, mutual, whatever and you've never even met. The thought of a software program scouring my mutual, mutual, mutual, (four times removed) community freaks me out.
Still, in the end, what's the pitfall? Is somebody going to steal my resume? I guess it's the idea of some software program sending out invitations from me that I did not personally initiate.
Again, it's some government sponsored program created for easily collecting information from the masses to track networks. You think I'm paranoid? Just to be sure.... just tell me of ONE person you know of who has received a job because of LinkedIn. Dead silence. Thought so. But you sure posted a GREAT pic of yourself complete with your life story. The CIA, NSA, FBI and NGA thanks you for your voluntary cooperation.
The Autumn Leaf Artists: Why I Left Minnesota
Like so many things Minnesotan, this video gets more entertaining as it goes along. And yeah... it also sums up the dating pool around there. LOL.
The Manicotti
I am low in the totem pole in the sibling pecking order. I have an older sister and brother who were ruthless to me, and then I have a younger brother who is not quite two years younger than myself. Four kids pretty much bam, bam, bam, bam. Mom was a good Catholic.
Anyway, being #3 out of 4 and in between two brothers left me vulnerable to their sibling behavior like atomic wedgies, farting on me, etc. Rarely an opportunity opened up so I could get even and give them a taste of their own medicine.
One night I got my chance with little brother.
My older sister had gone out to dinner at one of those ethnic places that served Italian food (I grew up in a sheltered northern European culinary world). Anyway, she did not finish her dinner and brought it home in a box. It was a sausage filled manicotti. Curious to this new and strange food my sister brought home, I had to take a look at it and check it out. I thought it looked just like a turd.
Ding!!!!!! Idea lightbulb.
My younger had pissed me off earlier in the day for reasons I can't remember anymore. I was going to get even and put the shit-looking manicotti in his bed. teeee heeeee teee heeee I waited patiently for night time. Placing the manicotti in his bed required stealth-like maneuvers on my part but I got the job done. Now I sit back and wait.
I had gone to my bedroom waiting for a reaction. I finally got it. My younger brother yelled at the top of his lungs, "WHO IN THE HELL PUT A SHIT IN MY BED!"
He was pissed. I'll never forget the stomping of his feet coming from upstairs. He flew down the stairs and pounded on my door with such force I thought he broke it down. "VERY FUCKING FUNNY, YOU SICK FUCK," he screamed through my door.
I was laughing so hard I was crying, and this pissed him off even more. How he figured out it was me so quickly was not really a mystery as we had an argument earlier in the day.
Many, many years have passed since the manicotti episode. Still, NEVER mention it to my brother to this day. He's still pissed about it. I still giggle about it.
Anyway, being #3 out of 4 and in between two brothers left me vulnerable to their sibling behavior like atomic wedgies, farting on me, etc. Rarely an opportunity opened up so I could get even and give them a taste of their own medicine.
One night I got my chance with little brother.
My older sister had gone out to dinner at one of those ethnic places that served Italian food (I grew up in a sheltered northern European culinary world). Anyway, she did not finish her dinner and brought it home in a box. It was a sausage filled manicotti. Curious to this new and strange food my sister brought home, I had to take a look at it and check it out. I thought it looked just like a turd.
Ding!!!!!! Idea lightbulb.
My younger had pissed me off earlier in the day for reasons I can't remember anymore. I was going to get even and put the shit-looking manicotti in his bed. teeee heeeee teee heeee I waited patiently for night time. Placing the manicotti in his bed required stealth-like maneuvers on my part but I got the job done. Now I sit back and wait.
I had gone to my bedroom waiting for a reaction. I finally got it. My younger brother yelled at the top of his lungs, "WHO IN THE HELL PUT A SHIT IN MY BED!"
He was pissed. I'll never forget the stomping of his feet coming from upstairs. He flew down the stairs and pounded on my door with such force I thought he broke it down. "VERY FUCKING FUNNY, YOU SICK FUCK," he screamed through my door.
I was laughing so hard I was crying, and this pissed him off even more. How he figured out it was me so quickly was not really a mystery as we had an argument earlier in the day.
Many, many years have passed since the manicotti episode. Still, NEVER mention it to my brother to this day. He's still pissed about it. I still giggle about it.
Zero Dark Thirty
I'm not a fan of war nor violence; however, the movie Zero Dark Thirty reaches me on levels that are part of me.
1. Upon visiting Virginia Beach, VA a couple years ago I was warned by my active military duty son, who was stationed there at the time, to stay away from the wooded, sanctioned areas of the base as Seal Team 6 was training for something significant. That's all the information I was given.
2. The female main character, Maya, has all the attributes of myself working in a male dominated occupation. She has to prove herself time and time again and stand up to the testosterone and ego laden know-it-alls and fight for what she feels is the truth. She is underestimated, but eventually proves her hunches. You Go Girl.
3. Analyzing satellite imagery and hacking into computers is a quasi-hobby of mine -- thanks to son who is active military duty. Seeing the room filled with several screens ripe for analysis gives me a rush. You think your phone calls, text messages, and emails are private? Not. Don't piss me off and don't lie to me. I'll have you choking on your own words that have been strategically collected.
4. Don't leave a hard drive behind. You have 4 mics to get out or we leave you.
5. When it's all said and done we cry...... all we want is LOVE.
1. Upon visiting Virginia Beach, VA a couple years ago I was warned by my active military duty son, who was stationed there at the time, to stay away from the wooded, sanctioned areas of the base as Seal Team 6 was training for something significant. That's all the information I was given.
2. The female main character, Maya, has all the attributes of myself working in a male dominated occupation. She has to prove herself time and time again and stand up to the testosterone and ego laden know-it-alls and fight for what she feels is the truth. She is underestimated, but eventually proves her hunches. You Go Girl.
3. Analyzing satellite imagery and hacking into computers is a quasi-hobby of mine -- thanks to son who is active military duty. Seeing the room filled with several screens ripe for analysis gives me a rush. You think your phone calls, text messages, and emails are private? Not. Don't piss me off and don't lie to me. I'll have you choking on your own words that have been strategically collected.
4. Don't leave a hard drive behind. You have 4 mics to get out or we leave you.
5. When it's all said and done we cry...... all we want is LOVE.
Saturday, September 7, 2013
Organic Foods
..this is the biggest marketing scheme ever. If you notice a sudden proliferation of "organic" foods at the grocery store, it's not because production has had an epiphany retracting any evil mass production with harmful practices to our food supply.
Au contraier, mon ami.
It's because a few subtle changes that amount to nil now qualifies the otherwise non-certifiable "organic" foods as now donning the "organic" label.
How do I know this? It's because I have roots and connections in the farming world. For example, organic milk has been downgraded to the simple requirement of not disturbing the manure fertilizer for three months for feed for the herd.
Unless you can personally follow your food from its source to the table each and every step of the way, you can bet your ass you're getting ripped off with the "organic" food craze.
Think I'm lying? Go ahead. Follow your food from source to table. Then we will talk.
Au contraier, mon ami.
It's because a few subtle changes that amount to nil now qualifies the otherwise non-certifiable "organic" foods as now donning the "organic" label.
How do I know this? It's because I have roots and connections in the farming world. For example, organic milk has been downgraded to the simple requirement of not disturbing the manure fertilizer for three months for feed for the herd.
Unless you can personally follow your food from its source to the table each and every step of the way, you can bet your ass you're getting ripped off with the "organic" food craze.
Think I'm lying? Go ahead. Follow your food from source to table. Then we will talk.
World Peace: Why It Does Not Exist
I'm no war advocate. Let's make that perfectly clear. However, the liberals who drive around in their Prius with the 'give peace a chance' and also 'celebrate diversity' bumper sticker ideology make me want to gag.
These same self-righteous morons are the same ones who fight within their own family units. They screw over their spouses, siblings, in-laws, extended families, etc., usually over money and emotional wounds. Many times they can't even sit at the Thanksgiving table together.
...and yet they are demanding world peace?????? Look in the mirror. If you can't even stomach dealing with your own family, don't expect the rest of the world to play according to your rules that apply to everybody except yourself.
Drive off a cliff in your Prius. Please.
These same self-righteous morons are the same ones who fight within their own family units. They screw over their spouses, siblings, in-laws, extended families, etc., usually over money and emotional wounds. Many times they can't even sit at the Thanksgiving table together.
...and yet they are demanding world peace?????? Look in the mirror. If you can't even stomach dealing with your own family, don't expect the rest of the world to play according to your rules that apply to everybody except yourself.
Drive off a cliff in your Prius. Please.
Hottest Day: Canning Tomatoes
One law of nature that never seems to miss is that you can count on standing over a hot stove canning tomatoes on the hottest day of the year. Mother Nature has a twisted sense of humor. Better let Mother Nature have her fun with us, because she will eventually win each and every argument. I learn from the best.
Home grown tomatoes have such a short shelf life as there are no chemicals or preservatives to prolong the canning process. You have to get to the task immediately. Sun drying some of the tomatoes is an option to help shorten the time over the hot stove canning.
Yes, it's work but the payoff is huge. My kids are so picky now that they refuse to eat any tomato based foods unless it's something from the garden. The taste difference and quality is that noticeable.
Word is out that I'm the garden food preservation queen. Neighbors and friends who have an over abundance from their trees and gardens drop bags of fruits and vegetables on my doorstep.
...just now what to do with the bag of peaches...
Wait. I could turn this into a hobby job. Bring me all of your garden stuff and I will preserve it for you.
Home grown tomatoes have such a short shelf life as there are no chemicals or preservatives to prolong the canning process. You have to get to the task immediately. Sun drying some of the tomatoes is an option to help shorten the time over the hot stove canning.
Yes, it's work but the payoff is huge. My kids are so picky now that they refuse to eat any tomato based foods unless it's something from the garden. The taste difference and quality is that noticeable.
Word is out that I'm the garden food preservation queen. Neighbors and friends who have an over abundance from their trees and gardens drop bags of fruits and vegetables on my doorstep.
...just now what to do with the bag of peaches...
Wait. I could turn this into a hobby job. Bring me all of your garden stuff and I will preserve it for you.
Friday, September 6, 2013
Joel Osteen
Who is this uber Christian dude that looks like a Jew? If I did not know any better I would swear he was Jerry Seinfeld's cousin. He even has a Jew name. I was flipping through channels last Sunday morning and I was astounded by the masses of people who were hanging on his every word.
Are people that desperate they need to be told what to do and what to believe in? Do they really need a leader that badly? I guess resigning yourself to a leader absolves any personal responsibility in life choices. We all know life choices are overwhelming. Why not delegate it?
Televangelism is alive and well. It must be profitable as Tammy Faye Baker, Jimmy Swaggart and the like keep managing to bilk millions out of believers to fund their mansions and private jets. Hey, I can get up on stage with a slick hair style, shiny shoes, and pearly white teeth to praise the Lord.
Think about it. Tax-free income. I need to found a religion.
Kill the White People
...but buy my record first...
This describes my life on so many levels you have no idea...
....kill the white people....
This describes my life on so many levels you have no idea...
....kill the white people....
Translate THIS
Here is something to translate.... No, you won't find any help with your Latin-based romance language 'how-to-pick-up-chicks-guide' (aimed primarily to dazzle others to make them feel as intellectual inferiors and quasi-art enthusiasts).
몸 어 가 벼 운 느 씹
Sorry, but translation requires something more than staring at nude bodies. I realize this may be a blow to the French, but they need to come to terms with the sexist neanderthals they really are dressed up with champagne and cheese.
몸 어 가 벼 운 느 씹
Sorry, but translation requires something more than staring at nude bodies. I realize this may be a blow to the French, but they need to come to terms with the sexist neanderthals they really are dressed up with champagne and cheese.
Thursday, September 5, 2013
Tom Cruise: Make out Session
Why would I dream about a mad, passionate make-out session with Tom Cruise? I awoke scared, upset, (embarrassed) and wondering WHY I would dream about him? We have nothing in common. I'm taller than him. I don't embrace Scientology. I don't find him attractive. I never even met him. It does NOT make sense.
OMG!! I'm fatally attracted to leprechauns!
Quickly, Mr. Sandman, give me a dream. Make him the cutest I've ever seen.... give him the word that I'm not a rover.... and that his lonesome nights are over... Mr. Sandman, I'm all alone... don't have nobody to call my own, so please turn on your magic beam.... Mr. Sandman, please, please PLEASE, give me a dream.
Just make sure it's not Tom Cruise.
OMG!! I'm fatally attracted to leprechauns!
Quickly, Mr. Sandman, give me a dream. Make him the cutest I've ever seen.... give him the word that I'm not a rover.... and that his lonesome nights are over... Mr. Sandman, I'm all alone... don't have nobody to call my own, so please turn on your magic beam.... Mr. Sandman, please, please PLEASE, give me a dream.
Just make sure it's not Tom Cruise.
Wednesday, September 4, 2013
Kitchen Bitch
Yes, oh yessssssssssss.... It's that time of year, typically known as harvest, where my kitchen is buzzing with activity. I preserve, can, freeze, and dry all the garden goodies that have been growing this season. The only thing missing is dad's bow hunting bounty consisting of a dead buck hanging off a tree limb ready for butchering. LOL.
I guess it hit me today that I have names for all of my favorite pots and pans. I have "old faithful" and also "old iron sides" and "big mamma." There is also "mini-me" and "Dutch boy."
How I came to name my pots and pans is unknown... It's also funny how my kids know EXACTLY which pot and/or pan I'm talking about when I reference such silly names for inanimate cooking utensils.
I guess it hit me today that I have names for all of my favorite pots and pans. I have "old faithful" and also "old iron sides" and "big mamma." There is also "mini-me" and "Dutch boy."
How I came to name my pots and pans is unknown... It's also funny how my kids know EXACTLY which pot and/or pan I'm talking about when I reference such silly names for inanimate cooking utensils.
Mr. Bohemian Club Part III
It was inevitable. He could not run and hide forever and avoid any future contact with me try as he might. He had to look me in the eye.
The energy has shifted. He knows I know what his game is. He knows I can't be bought as I'm not enamored by bright, shiny objects. He knows he can't bullshit me. Now he's wondering if I've tipped off others in the 'audience' to his charade.
Let him wonder.... maybe I have tipped off others, maybe I have not.
The energy has shifted. He knows I know what his game is. He knows I can't be bought as I'm not enamored by bright, shiny objects. He knows he can't bullshit me. Now he's wondering if I've tipped off others in the 'audience' to his charade.
Let him wonder.... maybe I have tipped off others, maybe I have not.
Tuesday, September 3, 2013
North Korean Won
This is truly Guns-n-Roses.
Monday, September 2, 2013
Praise the Lord.....
......and pass the ammunition, and we'll all stay free.
Believe it or not, those are lyrics from a 1942 song by the Merry Macs. I'm sure Jesus wants us shooting each other. Not.
The point is we all think the "sand nigger towel heads" are crazy because they die for Allah. How are we any different?
Believe it or not, those are lyrics from a 1942 song by the Merry Macs. I'm sure Jesus wants us shooting each other. Not.
The point is we all think the "sand nigger towel heads" are crazy because they die for Allah. How are we any different?
Sunday, September 1, 2013
You Know You Live in Wine Country When......
.....you know you live in wine county when there is wine tasting at the grocery store...
Ghost Adventures
Flipping though the tv channels at night in bed I tend to pause on a show called Ghost Adventures. I guess it's because I've had my own 'close encounters' with things that can't be explained by logic and I'm curious about the experiences of others. While I don't claim to be an expert by any means, as my experiences are not broadcasted to the world for fear of being labeled a nut case, I am rendering an opinion on the show as being staged garbage.
The show pretty much always uses historical sites as a venue. That's cool... I love history and hearing the background stories of places around the world. That part gets a pass. From there to goes unauthentic Hollywood.
1. They always have their ghost hunting crew visit at night. Spirits don't care what time it is. The only advantage of doing a night shoot is that there is usually less external noise and light and the living are more prone to seeing their presence without any visual electronic aids.
2. The ghost hunting crew barks out orders at the spirits to perform on command. Spirits are not actors. Spirits don't work for you, nor do they care about your show's ratings. They don't need to prove their existence to anybody. It's the other way around. Spirits hanging around this plane of existence are stubborn and some of them don't even realize they've passed.
3. The ghost hunting crew has an arsenal of video cameras, recording gear, blah, blah, blah, blah...Funny, but every time their EVP captures a breathy ghost voice, it always speaks English. I find that hard to believe when the site is in old Mexico. My personal belief is that audible spirit communication does not adhere to any known language at all.
I still watch the show because, ummmmmmm..... i dunno..... just because. Take it all with a grain of salt. In the meantime, if you really centre yourself and open up, you'll be able to experience for yourself first hand encounters with things that are unexplained. Don't take my word for it.
The show pretty much always uses historical sites as a venue. That's cool... I love history and hearing the background stories of places around the world. That part gets a pass. From there to goes unauthentic Hollywood.
1. They always have their ghost hunting crew visit at night. Spirits don't care what time it is. The only advantage of doing a night shoot is that there is usually less external noise and light and the living are more prone to seeing their presence without any visual electronic aids.
2. The ghost hunting crew barks out orders at the spirits to perform on command. Spirits are not actors. Spirits don't work for you, nor do they care about your show's ratings. They don't need to prove their existence to anybody. It's the other way around. Spirits hanging around this plane of existence are stubborn and some of them don't even realize they've passed.
3. The ghost hunting crew has an arsenal of video cameras, recording gear, blah, blah, blah, blah...Funny, but every time their EVP captures a breathy ghost voice, it always speaks English. I find that hard to believe when the site is in old Mexico. My personal belief is that audible spirit communication does not adhere to any known language at all.
I still watch the show because, ummmmmmm..... i dunno..... just because. Take it all with a grain of salt. In the meantime, if you really centre yourself and open up, you'll be able to experience for yourself first hand encounters with things that are unexplained. Don't take my word for it.
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