Sad Reunion

Time flies and people enter and exit our lives accordingly.  It's not that I stop being your friend (unless you *really* pissed me off) but rather communication has dwindled because of, well.. just life.  Perhaps the level of friendship did not deepen because of fundamental differences in our personalities, but we had fun while our paths were crossed.  I will be pleasant and courteous to you, but don't mistake that for being my soul-friend.  Remember, I am super selective about my inner circle of friends. 

Then there are my friends who know I love them no matter how much time between our visits.  We always pick up where we left off -- no apologies, excuses, or claims of excess business needed. 

It's the group of friend-acquaintances that has me unsettled as of late.  You know, the friends for whom you don't harbor any ill-will towards, but just dropped off the radar.  Now they are popping up like bad pennies out of the blue. 

One appeared for me this week.  This is a person I have not seen in 16 years.  This person appeared at a youth sporting event I was at.  I will refer to this person as X.  I was just sitting on the sidelines chatting with the other moms when X strolled up to my side.  It took a moment or two for it all to register.  Sure, X was 16 years older, grayer, and had all the other visible signs of the natural progression of life on the physical body.  When it clicked and registered I gave X a big hug.  Mistake. 

X was full of woe-is-me stories of the 15 years.   Granted, X has been through the wringer.  However, there was a certain vibe X was giving off that was sounding alarms in my inner energy detector.  It became clear after X went on and on and on and on about personal hardships, health issues, job losses, etc., that X really was a needy person needing a rescue.  The clincher was the overwhelming smell of booze X was emitting.  I am a sympathetic, empathic person and I did not want to blow X off, but it was an emotionally exhausting conversation.  All I wanted to do was watch the game.  X tracked me down and ambushed me.  X lamented about how I have not sent out Christmas cards the past couple of years (taking it as a personal insult), and not keeping in steady communication.  By the end I felt drained and like I had been hit by a Mack truck. 

Why is it that I am a magnet for the needy and clingy?  I don't need more people sucking my energy.   Codependent no more!