My Mother

...is here visiting from Minnesota.  Yeah, my dad is here as well.  How in the hell they have managed to remain married for 53 years is beyond me.  They are opposites in every way imaginable.  They have NOTHING in common.  Wait.  I take that back.  They are both extremely hard working and are doing something all the time.  That's where the similarities end.

Mom's constant paranoia in regards to pharmaceutical companies, the government, food additives, cleaning agents, etc., is enough to make me want to blow my brains out.  Oh, and that everybody is a potential murderer and is plotting to kill you and dispose of your body in a ditch.  That's what happens on CSI Las Vegas, don't 'cha know.....

Example:  Last night some friends came over.  They have a beautiful teen aged daughter.  Their daughter works at a local coffee shop.  Lately, a male patron has been coming into the coffee shop and seems to be interested as his written poetry/prayers to her indicate.  The male patron is obviously smitten.  How sweet to receive anything hand-written from a guy expressing emotions. 

My mother's immediate reaction to this man's attention is that he's a creeper wanting to worm his way into the teenager's heart and life to do her harm.

Can you say PARANOID???????

Being the bitch daughter I am, I asked my mother how two people were to get to know each other, date, forge a relationship, whatever, if no initiation from the guy happens.  Things have to start somewhere, right? 

No answer.

Granted, there are a lot of asshole guys out there.  I've had the sad experience of watching Prince Charming turn into a toad and breaking my heart in the process; it's happened more times than I wish to count.  There is no shortage of dick-heads, that's for sure....

However, sometimes we just need to take a chance......If we end up murdered in a ditch, at least we tried and died giving love and romance a go.