Generation X versus Millennials: Voicemail

 I could rant for hours on the generational differences; however, it will get me nowhere with the younger crowd as they always think they are so hip and worldly.  Just wait millennial, your turn is coming.  Some day YOU will be the old fart complaining about the lack of respect received from the subsequent generations.

Here's one thing that drives me NUTS about millennials - they do NOT listen to their voicemails.  They don't even really use email.  Don't bother leaving a voicemail for a millennial.  They will return your call, eventually, and make you repeat everything you already stated.  Sometimes, because Generation X is older, some details get left out from the voicemail we took time to articulate, and we forget to include when we finally get a call back from a millennial that could be of consequence.  I always tell millennials to listen to the voicemail I left them.  They never do.  Because they are the "'victim" generation, it's all my fault.  They are never responsible for anything. 

Another thing they do not do is write thank you cards for freely given generosity nor RSVP for an event.  They think parties take no planning whatsoever and that food magically appears in the appropriate quantities specifically for their benefit.  They will tell you they are coming to a party and then not show up.  There will be radio silence from an issued invitation and then show up with four (uninvited) of their friends along with a hyper dog. 

Generation X will get even with the millennials.

In a few short years I will show up at dinner time unannounced with my friends, complain that food options served are not gluten free, and let my hyper dog jump and piss all over their furniture.  After dinner I will leave a pile of dirty dishes in their sink and slip out without saying goodbye nor thank you. 

Tolkien: Middle Earth Wedding

My son is an avid Tolkien fan.  Back when he was in elementary school, I recall sitting on the couch in the front room after dinner reading The Hobbit and also Lord of the Rings to out loud to him.  Mind you, my son is dyslexic.  His intellect far exceeded his reading ability at the time.  My daughter, being considerably younger, would just snuggle up to my side with her purple Barney and a blanket when it was time to read and fall off to sleep with her head on my lap.  The dog and the cat would also come into snuggle for story time.  The dog would be at my feet and the cat would be on my shoulders.  I would also invent different voices for the different characters in the Tolkien stories.  I'm not sure if I was doing it correctly or not, it's just something I did.

When my son got to high school he connected with other Tolkien fans in his peer group.  My son engaged with those who had intellectual curiosity and were willing to explore it.  Yes, the was the Dungeon and Dragons type who also attended regional renaissance faires along with his troupe in character, and held LAN parties in our garage while hacking into computer systems just for fun.  

No, my son was not average by any means.  He was always asking deep questions.  I'll never forget when he was five years old and we were driving south bound on Highway 101 in Rohnert Park.  He asked me, "Mom, if God loves everybody does God love the devil, too?"

Sigh.

However, just ask him why he did not turn in his homework or why he did not clean his bedroom?  That, my dear friends, is another story all unto itself.  No wonder I'm gray and dye my hair and consume the amount of wine that I do.  

I'm getting off track.  The title of this blog is Tolkien:  Middle Earth Wedding.

Back when my kids were in high school, I was shocked at how many of them were practically orphaned at age 15.  Many of the kids' parents had split.  In these orphaned kids'  lives Dad abandoned the family for a new girlfriend 1/2 Dad's age.  Mom went on a quest to fulfill her higher self - abandoning her kids for the white-robed, spiritual guru who lured her to India to seek total consciousness - the price was a stake in Mom's divorce settlement portfolio (eyes on the Maui condominium that was awarded Mom in the divorce proceedings).  

Meanwhile, Dad and Mom's kids were looking for a place to hang out while they sorted out their own teenage sh**.

That place was my place.

Yes, I kind of resented dad who had to get his ego stroked by girlie 1/2 his age while the teenage kid he already fathered was at my house contemplating suicide.

Yes, I kind of resented mom who took off to India for three months to find images of Ghandi etched in mountain stones on the sacred walk to the fountain of All-Who-Knows a world away while her kids were on my living room floor retching their guts out from bad booze they got at the cornfield maze.  

I'm getting WAAAAAAY off track.

Where I'm going is that I was invited to a wedding of my son's friend from high school who got married yesterday.  Her wedding was all Tolkien as she was a friend of my son in high school and beyond.  Everything for her Tolkien themed wedding was hand-made including her wedding dress.  Long story short, she was one of my "orphans" of yesteryear.

I was honored when she introduced me to her new husband and said that I helped her through some very dark times during her teen years and acted as a mom to her.  

The wedding was beautiful.  I was more than happy to have provided food for it.  It's my love language.  If I cook for you, that means I love you.  

Her wedding was filled with love.  It was done in a public park on a shoestring budget, but that is what makes it all the more meaningful.  Love you, KR.  Wishing you a lifetime of happiness for you and your man.  

p.s. your cake cutting with Sting was original and something I will never forget.  It was also original that you personally served each and every one of your guests the cake.  

 

 

 

Mothers' Day

I wish us moms got more than just one day a year.  LOL.  Hey, us mothers will take what we can get.  Being a mother means you put yourself behind your kids.  The kids come first.  Wait.  I should rephrase that.  The family comes first.  Once that first kid is born your life will never be the same.  It's all real at that point.  This little, defenseless creature depends on you for each and everything it needs.  The creature you created will depend on you for many years to come - say decades - say your entire lifetime.  

You never stop being a mother.

One of the biggest gifts I received today was from my son, who told me that as he is nearing age 35 he is realizing that the advice I gave him years ago was legitimate and it's too bad that he did not take heed at a younger age.  He dissed my advice because he thought it was BS because it came from MOM.  Here's a secret to you moms out there.  Get somebody else to tell your kid what you want to say to them because if it comes from MOM it will automatically go in one ear and out the other.  This is what aunts and uncles are for. 

The other big gift was from my daughter.   She considers me her best friend and confidant.  My relationship with my daughter is nothing like the relationship I had with my mother, so I'm still trying to unpack that.  My mother was too busy with all of my siblings to even notice my existence let alone to actually have a relationship with her.  Real truth.  I did now know my real name when I went to kindergarten.  My daughter actually wants to hang out with me?  What?  She tells me everything!  To this day I don't think my mother knows 1/100 of who I am.   Such relationship whiplash from my perspective.  I'm grateful my daughter tells me what she does.  I'm also grateful my mother is still alive.  I will continue to try to build a deeper relationship with her.  The worst thing that can happen is nothing. 

 

SSP's Son-In-Law

 What a strange turn of events this week.  My brother's best friend was killed in the line of duty on Saturday.  One of my besties (and soul sister), SSP, texted me to let me know that her son-in-law watched over Josh Owen's body while it was at the coroner's office.  My brother was so thankful that is was SSP's son-in-law was the one who watched over him.  

I get chills as I'm typing this.  

In show of support for the fallen officer, there was a procession of at least 100 emergency vehicles.  Again, I don't think the general public understands what a law enforcement families go through.  Every single day there is the possibility of ........... what if I don't make it home after my shift?  And don't you think for one minute that the spouse and kids don't feel that same anguish.  Talk about constant stress.  

Hats off to all those who work in law enforcement.  It's a thankless job that society undervalues.  For what it's worth, I value their hard work and dedication. 

Officer Down In Minnesota, Suspect In Custody Saturday Evening

 Yes.  A couple months ago I got kicked off a jury for speaking my mind to the judge and to the defendant's counsel.  The topic was if I knew anybody in law enforcement.  I said I was pro-law enforcement and while there are some bad apples, as in any profession, they are the only semblance between civility and chaos.  

My brother-in-law is retiring after 30 years in the California Highway Patrol next Friday.  He can't wait.  He says things have changed so much during his tenure.  There is absolutely no respect.  The judicial system is a joke.  Officers are questioned and scrutinized more than the defendants.  Officers put their lives on the line to keep the public safe, and the judicial system just lets them go with a slap on the wrist.

Then people wonder why crime is rising in their neighborhoods.  

I just received a call from my mom.  Last night my brother's best friend was killed in the line of duty.  My brother is with the Pope County Sheriff's Department in the dispatch center and has been for 30 years.  The call was a domestic dispute.  Three officers, one police officer and two sheriffs, went to the scene.  This is my brother's voice on the radio traffic.  He kept his composure knowing that his best friend was just fatally shot.  

All those who want to "defund the police" should be required to be a police officer for a stint.  It's easy to condemn what you don't understand.  With that being stated, all officers should get beat up by a cop for doing absolutely nothing wrong.  I'm willing to be objective and look at both sides, are you?  

On another side rant, I blogged the other day where the most dangerous place for a woman to be is at home.  Again, another domestic violence statistic this time with and an officer shot and killed.  Where's the outrage against domestic violence?   

Sorry, brother, you had to go through this. 

Hi! We just moved to Sonoma County from SF/Berkeley/Oakland/San Jose

 If I see one more post on NextDoor about somebody relocating here from the greater Bay Area I'm going to puke.  They all say, "Oh, we just moved to Sonoma County from SF and we love it soooooooo much!"

Really?  Fuck you.

You will be one of those annoying fucks who move here and then bitch about everything that makes Sonoma County the place that it is - including the Petaluma Raceway, the Sonoma Aroma, crowing roosters, and cow shit.  This includes all the annoying fucks who move here from Marin as well.  

All you transplants can't handle what you voted for in SF and are arriving to Sonoma County en masse.  

Hint:  Sonoma County has been locked up for over a hundred years.  You will never be considered a local.  Please, leave and drive your fucking Tesla off a cliff.

Reparations for Blacks

We can all play the victim card.  Here's what pisses me off about the proposed reparations for blacks.  To this day the ERA (Equal Rights Amendment) has not been ratified to ensure equal rights to all regardless of sex.  Let's see who deserves reparations.

1.  Women were not allowed the right to vote until the 1920's.

2.  Women's income was not considered in purchasing large assets, i.e., a house until the late twentieth century.

3.  Women make less than men do for the same job.

4.  Women were not allowed to inherit property.

5.  Women were denied jobs with power - and still are.  Look around any Fortune 500 company board room.  The vast majority are male.

6.  Countless women are abandoned by the men they married and/or fathered their children and don't pay court ordered child support. 

7.  The most dangerous place for a woman to be is in her home.  There is no shortage of domestic abuse cases done by the men who "loved" their wife/girlfriend.  Most murders of women are committed by men they know.  I have not even touched on rape and incest.  Can we talk about sexual improprieties and the #metoo movement?  I'm going to state that 85% of women have been subject to sexual improprieties, aggression, exploitation, etc., etc., etc......  However, the government is still arguing about what happens inside our uterus.  

8.  Women were considered "property" until fairly recently.

I could go on and on.  If anybody deserves "reparations" it's women who suffered generational and systematic disadvantages - and continue to do so to this day.  Where's OUR money????????