Sex and Culture Washout

How can we be expected to "celebrate diversity" and such when we're not allowed to "label" any culture? We need to study each other and our differences in order to become truly culturally diverse. However, on that same note, it's socially and legally taboo to insinuate or assume any cultural labels for others at all -- even if they're correct. We can't ask about anybody's ethnic background, even if it's obvious they're from somewhere else.

That goes for the sexes, too. We're all expected to learn and respect how the differences in the sexes think and act, but yet we're all legally bound to act like sterile androgens and anything otherwise is immediately labeled as sexist.

Roman Emporer Caligula

The Roman Emperor Caligula often dressed as a god. He also commanded that the sun rise upon command each morning. And it did. I wonder if he ever commanded the sun *not* to rise in the morning.

The point is that somebody has the Caligula complex in regards to daylight savings time. I mean, really, who goes about changing clocks one hour forward and then one hour backwards two times a year. Just pick a time and stay with it. Daylight cannot be added or deleted; only schedules can be manipulated.

Mutton Dressed as Lamb

I had never heard this saying until I visited a dear friend in England. I can't remember the exact context in which the saying surfaced, but to this day, it's one of my favorites. There is no American translation that I can specifically point to that illustrates why this phrase is so cutting and direct. It just hits cunningly on so many different levels;)

Here's a sad attempt to try to translate this brilliant phrase from English to American: Everytime I see a 40'ish (or older) woman sporting her bare midriff, mini skirt, silicone boobs, lip injections, suntan, and the botox freeze-face that is so pervasive here in California, I think to myself, "Mutton dressed as lamb."

Everytime I see Nicolette Sheridan on television I think to myself, "Mutton dressed as lamb." click on photo to enlarge (no... don't! eeeeeeeeeek)

...the next phrase I'll translate from English to American will be "All fur coat and no knickers."

Gay Marriage

There's a big deal right now in California whether or not to allow gay marriage. My question to the homosexual community is this: Why are you demanding to be miserable?

Home Alone

When was the last time you were home alone? I wish I could remember actually being alone in my home. It's been years. I'm always up to my armpits in people. Granted, I do like having people in my home, but there are certain "regulars" who hang out here who never seem to go away. When it's Sunday evening and I'm getting ready for the week, I just want everybody to clear out of my way so I can actually get something *done* without tripping over 15 bodies in the process.

My fantasies are simple. Just give me a week of being alone in my home so I can clean out closets, throw stuff out, organize, etc. I've dropped not-so-subtle hints to everybody that all I really want is alone time in the house. They all just stare back at me with vacuumous eyes. It just does not register with them. They ask, "What do you want for your birthday/Christmas/Mothers' Day."

I ALWAYS say, "Just some time alone in the house so I can *really* get to some things without being interrupted."

Has it happened yet? Have I received alone time in the house? Hell no. I seems the more I plead for alone time, the more bodies I have in the house. And no, nothing gets done around here, either.

Heather Mills Money Hungry Psycho Bitch

Sorry, I can't bring myself to call her Heather McCartney because she just used him; and therefore, does not deserve to use his name.

Of course, the divorce is all HIS fault and the public just doesn't understand her. Apparently, her team of lawyers didn't understand her either, so she had to fire them all. Brilliant move, sweetheart, I'm sure you're well-versed in legal matters. Did you earn your legal credentials straddling men's laps at strip clubs? I'm sure it's a legitimate, credentialed program and all.........not.

Heather claims Paul is a drunken asshole and is abusive. I don't buy it. And, just for pathetic argument sake, just playing along that the accusations of abuse are true, all the more reason not to give Heather any of his money because she didn't really know Paul very well when they got married -- which is all the more incriminating on her part for marrying a man she hardly knew. She was sure quick enough to say, "I do" however, with no prenuptual agreement and instant celebrity/royal status.

This is the same woman who swore up and down she didn't want any part of his fortune when they were going to get married. Somehow, now that divorce is happening, $50 million just wasn't enough for this one-time topless model. I guess $50 million just won't buy her the boob jobs and plastic surgery she needs to try to attract another sucker.

Sorry, Heather, you're a money-hungry-psycho-bitch. Legally, I don't believe you have a leg to stand on (no pun intended). You'll just have to eke out a living earning money on sub-celebrity, embarrassingly pathetic television shows in the United States like "Dancing with the Stars." Pretty soon you and Fergie will be in late-night advertisements together for Weight Watchers and low-cost automobile insurance.

Attention Paul: You can do soooooooo much better...trust me.

Record Oil Prices

....and the American people are shocked? Get a brain, would you please? It's the simple "duh" factor again:
1. Bush's days in the White House are numbered (thankfully);
2. Bush's family and cronies are in the oil business;
3. Bush is making as much money for himself and oil cronies before he leaves office.

The positive side of higher oil prices it that it makes people think twice about driving somewhere when they could actually walk or ride a bike. We're all too fat anyway, and some extra exercise is good for us. It also encourages car pooling and use of public transportation.