Dad Went Up My Nose

This is an odd topic, but it is real:  Dad went up my nose.

I will explain.

My father died on Christmas Day 2021.  It was during the height of COVID.  We all knew dad was sick.  My father was not one to be overly emotional about anything.  He was a crusty cowboy who was not formally educated, but he was the smartest man I have ever known.   He had common sense and could smell B.S. miles away.  

Dad's wishes were that when he died were that we all did not come running when it happened.  Well, December in Minnesota kind of makes that a reality whether we we wanted to be there or not.  Dad was cremated per his wishes and he was placed inside a plastic bag (no kidding).

The next summer mom decided to take dad's ashes to his favorite hunting spot in rural Minnesota.  I suppose that was to be the funeral dad did not want.  One of my dad's sisters was also involved.  It was decided that some of his ashes would be spread at his favorite hunting spot, some at the farm where he grew up, and some at the Lutheran cemetery where his mom and dad are buried (my paternal grandparents).  

Here's the challenge:  We need to separate dad's ashes to take to three different places.  Here is dad's cremated body in what resembles a gallon-sized zip lock bag.  Who is going to open it and take out the ashes to make three bags to take to spread at three different sites?  Me.

I did have my siblings and my mom surrounding me while I did this.  I never thought I would be measuring out dad's remains like cups of flour for a recipe.  It was extremely emotional for me.  I am betting that very few of you out there have ever handled a loved one's cremated remains.  The ashes are heavier than what you would think.  The ashes are also lighter than what you would think.  While I am separating out dad's remains into three separate containers the dust from the ashes went up my nose.  I was not expecting that.  

Instead of freaking out, I took that moment knowing that my dad will always and forever be with me.   I breathed him in.  

It has taken me this long to process what happened.   

 

  

Death Cleaning

Leave it to the Scandinavians to come up with this term.  They're so to the point sometimes and macabre.  No, they just call it for what it is.  No beating around the bush.  Death cleaning.

What is death cleaning you ask?  It's an intense state of de-cluttering and disposing of much of your stuff.  The thought is that you are doing your survivors a favor in the event of your death by going through, giving away, sorting, and tossing just about everything.  That includes getting rid of whatever is in that storage shed you've had for the last 20 years. When you die, there's nothing to fight over. Going through and getting rid of stuff can be extremely exhilarating.  You may have trouble getting rid of your teacup collection - I don't think anybody will want it.  Don't waste too much time posting stuff on line to sell.  Your stuff is not worth nearly as much as you think.  However, family heirlooms are the exception.  Set those aside for last and get rid of all your junk first.  You will be amazed at how little we all really need. 

Some people even hold a death meeting of the family.  They gather together just as they would at the reading of the trust or will, but they do it while they are alive and in perfect health.  The corpse can still talk.  It's a good idea to have it recorded or videoed while the corpse is still talking.  Why?  People get weird when it comes to money and many families have been torn apart fighting over who gets what and so-called "misinterpretations" of the will. 

Here's where it can be nipped in the bud.  If anybody has an issue, bring it up right then and there at the death meeting in front of everybody while the cameras roll and it's being recorded.  Should you fail to have the guts to state in front of all why you're upset Johnny is getting more of an inheritance than you, you forfeit any right to bitch about it after the fact.  In the same breath, be ready for the response you are about to get.  You probably won't like it.  Bottom line, nobody owes you anything - not even your deceased parents.  I'm sure there's a reason you were given less.  Be happy you got anything, you spoiled piece of shit.  Chances are you borrowed money all your life sucking off your parents. That's usually the case.   

Well, that's a cheery blog for today with the beautiful weather and sunshine.  I'm glad I could be a buzz kill.