Bad Penny

OMG.... Can't this turd FLUSH already?  My married assistant went to Europe to meet up with the boyfriend she professed was love of her life.  They have had a long-distance fling going for 10 years now?  I've lost track.  She was gone with lover boy for over a month.  I was so thrilled to have the office to myself.  I did not miss her one bit, and there was a part of me that (hoped) she would not come back.  With that being said, I kept up on all her work while she was out.  It was not difficult. 

Her chump of a husband has purchased a house so he can move out, but it needs work.  So....he's still at the home they shared during their marriage knowing she jetted off to Europe to ^#$% some other guy.  Do you think Chump moved out while she was gone?  NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Maybe Chump was secretly hoping she would not come back, either.  Maybe he was hoping that she would stay as that would give him more time to fix up his house. 

We are NOT that lucky.  Like a bad penny, she returns. 

Enjoying my time in the office without her, I texted her to just stay home for the week (with pay) as I had started the monthly transactions and figured I'd just close out the month myself.  I told her I was certain that I don't organize things like she does. Do you think that deters her?  HELL NO.  Here she comes into the office - after I told her to stay home. Irritated, I told her that I did not expect her to come back, and that she would ride off into the sunset with her knight in shining armour.  Her reply, "I would not do that."

WHAT?????????  For the last 10 years all I heard about was how much she loves this guy and wants out of her marriage.  Her plans were to ditch her husband and run off together when her kids graduated high school...and when that did not happen when her kids graduated college....and when that did not happen when her kids were completely independent.  That has not happened yet. 

Let's face it.  This turd will not flush.

I flatly asked her if she was going to run off with boyfriend or what.  She went on to say how "weird" it was to be with somebody different after being married for so long.  Also, she found some of his habits annoying.  Of course, when you're with somebody 24/7 for over a month tooling around Europe in a motor home crammed together getting annoyed with each other is pretty much guaranteed.  Neither one could go off with friends, go to work, or socialize with anybody else except each other.  Quite frankly, being stuck with Assistant for any length of time is like listening to fingernails on a chalkboard. 

I'm totally reorganizing the processes at my office that will eliminate her job.  It becomes effective February 1, 2020.  I have to give her the news.  But.....maybe I don't.  She's the type that will slip on a banana peel in the hallway or find something to sue over.  I don't know what that would be as she pretty much got paid to do nothing. 

In the meantime, I want to set up Chump with a friend of mine.  I think they would be a great couple.  Both are really nice and have their act together.  Both own a home.  Both are great and caring parents.  Both have good hearts.  Both have good jobs.  Both have similar interests.  Both are from the the area.  Both are down on their luck with love.