First Class

Call me a snob, but I've paid my dues.  I fly first class whenever I travel.  I've had my years crammed back in coach with screaming babies on one side and loud jack-asses on the other, my seat getting kicked, and somebody's head in my lap because they decided to decline.  I've also paid for Global Entry (TSA Pre-check) so I don't have to stand behind some dumb bitch wearing every piece of jewelry she ownes sending off all beeping screening devices going through security.

Let me tell you right here and now BOTH are a complete rip off.  The TSA pre-check is another blog.  I'm focusing on kids in first class for now. 

Flying first class anymore is a joke.  Somehow business class has transformed into a daycare center where rich brats are yelling, screaming, crying,  running up and down the aisles whilst their oblivious parents make us suffer after we paid a premium to avoid them. 

I can hear the selfish breeders now (BTW, the world is already overpopulated so tie your tubes immediately), "But I paid for the seat as well, we have every right to be there."

Yes, but I paid, too.  How would you like it if I plunked my unruly grandfather right next to your table at a premium restaurant you've had planned for months and ruined your dinner?  He can't help but yell and scream due to his dementia.  He's uncontrollable.  He also shits his pants and drools.  I should just keep him at HOME, right?  Wait.  I'm going to bring him on a trip and fly first class.  He has a ticket and every right to be there as well as your brat.  Fair is fair, right?  I guarantee if this happened the people who bring their wiggling, screaming brats to first class would be the first ones to bitch.  Why should I be tolerant of your brat if you won't be tolerant of my grandfather?  Just wear earplugs if you don't like my grandfather's screams.  It's your problem. 


Remember the kids' table at Thanksgiving?  A child had to have adult manners to get promoted to the adult table.  Children should be seen and not heard.  Sitting at the grown-up table meant that we had graduated into adult society and knew how to conduct ourselves.  Some never made it to the adult table.  There's a reason for that. 

Nowadays not only do we have to put up with obnoxious kids, we have to deal with the obnoxious parents who think their little Lily is the salt of the earth.  Trust me.  Your kids ain't that cute no matter how many comments you get from the airline staff.  They are cursing under breath and so are we.