Time to Talk Turkey

I talk turkey all the time on this stupid blog.  Where else can I spew random diatribe?

It's (insert dramatic booming timpani drum foreshadowing something ominous) THE HOLIDAYS!!!!  Yes, the annual horror movie is coming to YOUR neighborhood.  It's coming to your HOME if even if you did not invite it!!!!

You know it's bad when you start dreaming about it like I did last night.  I've said this before and I'll say it again.  We all expect world peace but can't sit down with certain family members for one meal without bringing up how so-and-so is a lazy, stupid, selfish, drunken, mooching, ass who is spending mom's money so quickly and manipulating the will/trust that it's feared there will be nothing left for YOU when she dies.

Grow up.  Your parents don't owe you anything.  Nobody owes you anything.  To top it off, mom can spend her money and divvy up assets however she wishes even if it pisses you and your money-grubbing spouse off.

Which brings me to Thanksgiving.  I'm not above being peeved-off about how family money is siphoned off by certain members of the clan and "mom" continues to enable them while the rest of us are busting our butts trying to to the right thing with jobs, saving, etc.  I'm not above being totally peeved at the clan member who continues being spoon fed at age 50.  Why should Lazy Butt get a job and pay bills?  Mommy will step in with a broom and clean up the mess with continued financial bailouts that Lazy Butt PROMISES to repay.  This is the LAST TIME Lazy Butt will ever ask for a handout.  Yup.  Sure.  Until next month when the cycle repeats itself.

The holidays roll around and, of course, Lazy Butt is going to show up for Thanksgiving dinner as a defacto guest of mom and dad because Lazy Butt lives with parents after the second divorce and, like toilet paper trailing from mom and dad's shoes, Lazy Butt follows.  Lazy Butt has no where else to go for the holidays, anyway.  Lazy Butt's own kids can't even stand Lazy Butt.

It will get interesting this week, people.  I'm going to take the higher road and embrace Lazy Butt's existence in my home as I am cooking (as usual).  It does not mean I have to like it.  Of course, Lazy Butt will do nothing but fart on my couch, drink excessively, and watch football.  Lazy Butt will contribute nothing.  Thank goddesses the kids are now old enough to ward off Lazy Butt's sick sexual advances to younger relatives.  A swift kick in the crotch usually deters that. 

I really struggle having Lazy Butt in my home.  It's like condoning incest and sexual abuse...and it's like this behavior is REWARDED by mom and dad with the continued financial enabling and making up excuses for Lazy Butt.  Like I said earlier, we all want world peace but struggle to sit down to one meal together.  Like I said earlier, I'm not above being upset and torn about family dynamics.

OHHMMMMMMMMM    OHMMMMMMMMMM  OHMMMMMMMM and pass the wine.