New Year's Eve

My friend's sister is hosting a New Year's party tonight.  It's been decades since I've actually been out on New Year's Eve.  The last time I went out was 1990.  Pathetic.  No, I take that back.  Five years ago I spent New Year's Eve with my brother in rural Minnesota.  We played cards at his house as the weather was so nasty and cold that even walking to the bar was out of the question. 

I'm usually home on New Year's.  I usually had a house full of kids as I would rather have them safely at my house, despite the fact that they trash my kitchen making home made pizzas, than somewhere out on the roads.

This year is a little different.  I'm cutting the cord.  While there will still be kids/young adults at my house I'm not putting out the pizza-food-entertainment as I did in years past making my own dough, chopping vegetables for toppings, making my own sauce, etc.  They are picking up take-and-bake pizza.  Whew.  It's a lot of work just after hosting Christmas Eve, Christmas morning, and hosting in-laws/family in general for the past month that I'd rather NOT do tonight....and I love cooking...just taking a break from it.

My dancing dress is coming out of the closet along with my shoes!

Older and Wiser: Christmas Shortcuts

I keep finding shortcuts to lessen the stress of Christmas.  I still get stressed out to some degree, but I have found some shortcuts that lighten the load. 

1.  Don't bake:  Cookies, pies, etc., will find their way to your door via well-wishing neighbors and such.  Besides, we are all pre-diabetic anyway; 

2.  Don't wrap presents:  Wrapping paper is the most wasteful environmental crime ever.  Who pays money to throw something away?  Use gift bags instead -- put the gift inside using much less expensive tissue paper -- close the bag up with ribbon.  Use them again next year.  You will save soooooo much time and money.  Don't let gift snoopers be a deterrent to this method.  Why should you care if they spoil their own surprise by peeking? 

3.  Don't Send Christmas Cards Before Christmas:  Granted, this tradition is going the way of the do-do bird.  However, if you still like to receive correspondence via snail mail (and snail mail is coming back en vogue) don't feel pressure for your card to arrive before December 25th.  The Three Wise Men did not arrive until January 6th.  There is a reason we have 12 days of Christmas.  Personally, I LOVE the cards I receive after December 25th.  I actually have time to enjoy them instead of tossing into the heap of unread mail; 

4.  Don't Travel:  Yes, I'm guilty of not going back to see my family in Minnesota at Christmas.  However, we have much more fun when it's not -40* and risk the perils of traveling in wintertime with blizzards and such delaying and cancelling flights; 

5.  Prep Food:  If you are hosting Christmas Eve, Christmas Breakfast, and Christmas Dinner, (or perhaps all of the above) prep as much as possible before hand.  There are thousands of preparation tricks to make hosting a meal less stressful.  You will thank yourself.

6.  Realize You Will Not Complete Your To-Do List Nor Fulfill All Wishes:  Despite our best intentions, there will be people who will be disappointed no matter what you do.  Oh well.  If they love you they will love  you no matter what gifts you give or not give. 

Find the Fish: Monty Python circa 1983

I remember watching this movie for the first time.  I was slightly under the influence of something that is now legal in some states.  Perhaps that is why I found it so amusing.  Now 30 years later it is still the *one* movie that my sister and I insist on watching together whenever I visit her and vice versa.  The other 'must watch' movie we view is the original Clash of the Titans. 

Haunted House: San Mateo

Ooops.  I did it again.  My psychic abilities hit me at the most unexpected places and at the most unexpected times.  I really wish I could control it and explain it.  I can't. 

Today was the anti-Christmas climax.  Personally, I LOVE the ability to exhale as it is now over for another year.  Anyway, today I needed to drive my son to the airport.  My son's friend needed a ride to his home in San Mateo.  I guess things have not really changed that much.  I'm still the Mom Taxi to some extent despite the fact that my son is now in his mid 20's. 

It's a drive from Sonoma County to San Mateo.  When I got to the home of my son's friend, I apologized profusely but told him I needed to use the bathroom.  I had never been to that particular neighborhood in San Mateo before.  It was really understated-cool.  The house was like something right out of Mad Men with the whole mid-century vibe.  Well, what would you expect from a bunch of computer techies guys -- they are the cool nerds. 

I walked down the hallway and began to sense something.  I felt like somebody was watching me.  I went into the bathroom and closed the door to do my business.  While I was sitting there I was overwhelmed with the sense that there was a woman in the bathroom with me and she had a very strong attachment to the house.  Weird.  That's the LAST thing I expected to sense as I was washing my hands after a routine function.  I was in the house for less than five minutes total. 

When my son and I got back in the car, I asked him the history of his friend's house.  I said flatly that I thought it was haunted by a woman. 

Dead silence. 

I then learned that it was believed to be haunted by a woman as the other house mates have had unexplained experiences that matched what I had experienced, but it more detail. 

12 Days of Christmas: SCTV

I realize I'm dating myself, but Doug and Bob McKenzie from Second City Television back in the 80's just told the simple, plain truth -- which was usually hilarious.  Happy Memories!

T-minus 2 and Counting

Ready or not, here it comes.......Christmas, that is.  I think it sneaked up on us all this year as Thanksgiving came late (blink) Christmas.  Plus, I also think we all go into deep denial burying our heads in the sand hoping that if we ignore it, Christmas will just go away.

Oh no.  Denial is not working.  The constant blaring of cheesy Christmas music over every media won't allow for our escape.  Neither will the bombardment of catalogs, email offers, and telephone solicitors calling for donations.

It's T-minus 2 shopping days left (thankfully).  After that we throw our hands up and surrender, despite our to-do list that still has items unchecked, because what did not get done did not get done.  Waving the white flag. 

I'm sure I will not fulfill somebody's expectations.  Oh well.  There's only so much I can give.  Once again, I did not get Christmas cards out this year.  I did buy some pretty ones as my intentions were good.  I'll get them out next week when the insanity calms down.  They will be my "Three Wise Men" Christmas cards.  They were not there for the actual birthing event, but came after the fact.  Hey, if the Three Wise Men get a pass until January 6, which is Epiphany, why can't I?  Our ancestors were a lot wiser than us (no pun intended) as they celebrated 12 days of Christmas and did not even attempt to cram it into one.  Modern society should take note. 

Holiday Hostess

As one of my kids pointed out, "Mom, since when do you host ALL of the holidays?"

Good question.

As I type this I'm wondering that very same thing myself.  I guess I'm doing it this year because my son won't be here next year, as he will be overseas for quite some time and I have no idea when he will be home for Christmas again. 

I have fantasies of reciprocal hospitality where all I have to do is show up somewhere with a bottle of wine and a pie.  Reciprocal ANYTHING would be appreciated.  Better yet, I have fantasies of just ignoring Christmas altogether.   It's disheartening to have a bunch of people over, eat all of my food, mess up my house, and then leave exclaiming to have had such a wonderful time and then disappear until the following year. 

"But you're such a wonderful hostess and you have the perfect home to entertain in," they chirp.  "I don't have the room nor the cooking skills," they claim. 

Please host anyway.  We don't care if you living arrangements are small and we eat pizza.  It's a lot of work to host holidays.  Doing it year after year gets tiring and grating.  We need a break, too.  Hosting becomes expected of us as now this has become "tradition" perhaps without our intentions.  This is not a pity party, but be merciful to your hostess and at least reciprocate by hosting from time to time.  You'll have a new appreciation for what we go through.  

Yuletide Greetings

You don't hear this phrase much anymore.  It's left over from pre-Christian lore of Norse gods strongly associated with Germanic "Christmas" culture. 

With Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, (fill in the blank with culture of choice) and the greeting of Feliz Navidad I think it's past due that Yuletide gets equal playing time from the media.

....and let's not forget Winter Solstice..... 

Transitional Reinsurance Fee: Punish those who Pay

As I'm getting more and more into this "obama care" the more I'm figuring it's a punishment for employers who have been trying to do the right thing all along. 

I can't make this stuff up.

Employers who have actually reported employees on their payroll paying taxes, workers' compensation insurance, etc., instead of slipping cash under the table are now getting hit with another whammy.  Employers are now being asked to cough up $63 for each belly button on their health insurance plan.  This is called "transitional insurance reinsurance fee."  This is really a grab by the insurance companies/government to fund the masses of sick/uninsured people about to jump into the exchanges.  Insurance companies don't plan on losing any money on Obama Care.  Trust me. 

Why don't they assess the "transitional reinsurance fee" for the companies who don't provide their employees health insurance coverage?  I suppose that would be too difficult as they are not reporting employees in the first place.  The insurance companies don't have an instant victim for their stick-em-up.  It's so much easier to grab money from those who are easily traceable  and already paying into the system. 

ADHD: Attention Deficit Disorder

I wasn't feeling well today, so I spent the day pretty much in bed. In between episodes of consciousness, I flipped through some magazines that had been sitting on my night stand for some time, but I have not had the time to look through.

For starters, every other page was a full-blown ad for some bullshit ailment. The one I'll pick on today is for kids with ADD (or ADHD) which is attention deficit disorder. I do not mean to dismiss kids who truly suffer from this, but more and more, it's just some money-making scheme for pharmecutical companies to profit of every parent's fear that "Johnny isn't getting perfect scores in school. Oh my GOD what is WRONG with him and how do I find an EASY FIX for this?"

This particular magazine ad featured a boy happily focused on doing homework well into the evening after describing a full day of activities that included a full day of school, music lessons, and sports activities. And damn, this boy still had the stamina to focus on the mindless busywork that schools issue as homework. Isn't that the picture of what you hope your child can aspire to?

Does anybody but me see the idiocracy of this? Please say I'm not alone....

There is NOTHING wrong with the kids today, and there is EVERYTHING wrong with a society that expects them to behave like miniature adults. Because guess what -- kids are not miniature adults and we're insane to expect them to behave like 30 year-olds at age 10. Look at what we do to them. We put them into the 'education' system at age 5 where they're told to sit still and be quiet in an artificial environment and listen to some boring teacher ramble on about learning the alphabet. And we get upset when the kids lose interest, fidget, and start staring out the window???? Helloooooooooo????

Now, I'm not saying that children should get away with behaving like selfish little assholes (like the behavior their parents model for them). I'm just saying that we need to be realistic about their attention span, and teach what is truly important and not keep pushing more and more shit on them. Kids are stressed out enough. Quit cramming their schedules with shit thinking that YOUR kid will be the next wonder of the world. Give me a break. Read the first sentence of this paragraph that refers to "selfish little assholes" and look in the mirror. Allow them to be KIDS.

God Bless the kids (and their parents) who are fortunate enough in this day in age who are able to lie in the back yard and imagine cloud shapes as superheros, follow an an insect to its home, or maybe interact with neighbors because they're not being shuttled off from one activity to the next.

Parking Meter

Today I went to Walnut Creek for a meeting.  Parking around there is always at a premium, but at Christmas time it's even worse.  I found a side street spot!  Yipeeeeeeeeee.  Plenty of parking!  As I pulled into my spot and was fumbling in my wallet, a vehicle pulled up behind me.  It was a Hispanic young man wearing an Oakland Raiders sweatshirt. 

Feeling in a generous, holiday mood I fed his meter for him for the maximum 2 hour limit.  He gave me a strange look and tried to hand me money, but all I said was "Merry Christmas."  I did not want money.  What comes around goes around, right?  It's all about random acts of kindness, right? 

I attended my business function and returned to my car about 20 minutes after my meter expired.  Whew.  No ticket.  I noticed the same vehicle I gifted meter fares to.  It was still there.  I got in my car and started to return phone calls with my cell phone.  I do not think 5 minutes passed when the Walnut Creek parking enforcement crept up along the street issuing tickets to expired meters. 

Too bad.  The young man I tried to help out was issued a parking ticket.  He did not return to feed the parking meter I voluntarily fronted the money for as a random act of kindness. 

You can lead a horse to water........ but you can not make him drink.

I'm from L.A.

Noooooooooo!!!!!!!  PUH-LEEZE don't come up from the Los Angeles area (or Southern California) and think that because you're from L.A. you're hot stuff and we are all somehow lower than you.  You all like to announce it like it makes you special and holier-than-thou.  Like we are all supposed to bow down or something. 

Nothing turns off the NorCal homies faster than the announcement of, "I'm from L.A."

The NorCal crowd immediately wonders when you're leaving.  Damn it.  You're staying.  I guess even rats and cockroaches need water in order to survive. 

Meetings in December

I know, I know.... it's the end of the year and end of the quarter.  However, PLEASE do not schedule face-to-face, meaningless meetings that can wait until the 12th of Never between now and New Years.  Conference calls work wonders in saving valuable time -- something that I'm severely lacking these days.

I can't believe the number of meeting requests I'm receiving.  Don't these people have lives?  Aren't they getting ready for the holidays?  Are you KIDDING me?  They want to meet NOW?  Only people with no real family nor friends are even attempting to schedule anything this time of year.

Apparently, there are a lot of them.

The Fourth Amendment

Food for thought:  Snail mail is protected by the Fourth Amendment.  Email is not.

We should all be very concerned about that.

Moral of the story:  Ditch electronic communication, visit the library to get information, pay cash, and use snail mail. 

...and They Lived Happily Ever After

....we were fed the fairy tales of the Disney Prince Charming whisking us away to the castle to live happily ever after.   That's where the story always ends.  The camera cuts rights after the huge wedding.

Oh no... that's where the story actually BEGINS.  Like it or not, life continues after age 21.  Pretty soon we are 26, then 30, then 36, then 47, then 55...... it all happens in a blink.

What nobody really talks about are the very real life challenges we actually face.  Nobody tells us what pitfalls are out there such as:  job loss, divorce, financial struggles, infidelity, betrayal, domestic violence, addictions, etc.  I did not even mention disability, sickness, nor death.

I'm not intending to bum you all out.  My point is that we lie to our children feeding the myth that if you do all the things society tells you you to do, you will lead a happy, stress-free, perfect life and you're a complete failure if yours isn't.  I've got news.  Nobody has a perfect life and each and every one of is struggling with something -- even if you followed society's prescription perfectly.  

Be especially weary of those portraying perfection -- they are usually the ones with the most hideous shortcomings. 

English Accent

I get amusement from that no matter the historical or future period depicted on television or in the movies, the actors ALWAYS have a fake English accent. 

Roman Times = English Accent
Time of Christ = English Accent
Science Fiction = English Accent
Ancient Egypt = English Accent

Don't take my word for it....pay attention.  Usually all historical shows feature the fake English accent - no matter what culture or language of origin it is trying to portray. 

What is a Terrorist?

Thanks to 911 paranoia the definition of a "terrorist" is loosely defined as "anybody or group that undermines the United States of America." 

Anybody see room for misinterpretation?  I sure do.  That definition is partly to blame for the very reason our privacy is non-existent.  Anybody see room for abuse?  I sure do.  Somebody on a power trip can make your life miserable for no apparent reason. 

While it's so much fun to pick on the government, do NOT forget our friends at Google, Yahoo, Facebook, Microsoft, etc., are even more guilty than the government of collecting our demographics and selling it to business.  I find it amusing that they are now trying to persuade President Obama to do something about protecting our personal information.  If they cared so much they would secure their own practices before whining trying to make the government look bad. 

The government and the communication/internet giants are in this together.  The private internet giants gather our information and hand it over to whomever - usually for a handsome price.  Both the government and the internet giants pretend to have our best interests at heart.  They don't. 

I've blogged about this ad nauseum.  

Moral of the story:  Ditch electronic communication, pay cash, and use snail mail. 

Graton Casino: Grates On My Nerves

I had to do it.  I had to make the trek to Rohnert Park to check out the casino for myself.  I had heard stories from people who reported back what it was really like inside.  I never had a warm fuzzy for the casino from the beginning, but decided to see for myself and make up my own mind.  What if it really was the entertainment and cultural mecca it was trumpeted to be and was going to be our economic messiah?

Parking?  Check.  The casino had ample parking available.  They also had security riding around on bikes making sure the area was safe.  Good first impression.

Entrances to the casino?  Check.  Regardless of where you parked an entrance was not far off.

Once inside the door it was like being in Vegas except with more smoke.  We made our way to the bar located in the middle of the casino to get a glass of wine.  There was a security guard there which was fine.  I ordered a glass of "Graton" Cabernet which was terrible.  If you're going to have a casino located in our beloved wine country of Sonoma County, at least pour some decent wine.  I'm no wine snob, but I could not even finish it.  Pouring wine of that poor quality is an instant insult.  Strike one.

While sitting at the bar, my friend needed to use the ladies room.  During her absence I looked around to people watch.  Interesting.  The lady sitting at the table behind me had a dog.  I did not know dogs were allowed in a casino bar.  Whatever.  Strike two.

Sitting at the bar people watching.  Tick tock, tick tock.  Where did my friend go?  She was taking a long time in the bathroom.  Maybe she ran into an acquaintance and got sidetracked.   No, she was banned from returning to her seat at the bar because she was wearing a hooded sweatshirt.  Wow.  Are you KIDDING me?  She is such a gang-bang threat at age 57 and gray hair.  She was dressed well enough to enter 30 minutes ago and order wine and sit at the bar.  Is this for REAL?  She went to the bathroom and was banned from returning to her seat.  When a DOG gets allowed entrance to a bar and a 57 year old woman is denied re-entry is a logic I can't fathom.  Strike three.

At this point we are borderline amused and angry at what just happened.  Did what just happen really just happen?  A DOG was given preferential treatment over a paying customer?  WTF????  Our stomachs were growling and needing something to eat to soak up the gut rot wine we were served.  The food court had the usual shopping mall artery clot cuisine you could get at the Santa Rosa Mall or any major airport.  Hmmmmmm we wanted 'real' food.  Strike four.

Well, we might as well tour the rest of the casino that has filled the headlines for the past 10 years and check it all out.  I stopped to play a "penny" slot machine that was in reality $5 a pull once loaded up.  That lasted 1.3 minutes before my money was sucked completely dry and left me with a 14 cent voucher.  The table games were no better.  The stakes were too high for somebody who, like myself, actually works for a living and can't afford to bet the farm for sheer entertainment on a Saturday evening. Strike five. 

We thought that Tony's Pizza sounded like it might be good for a decent glass of wine (hopefully) and a bite to eat that actually contained real ingredients.  Oh no.  Tony's had an hour and a half wait and the prices were outrageous.  Strike six.

No matter, we could not have waited around for an hour and a half for overpriced food as the cigarette smoke was beginning to choke us.  Our nostrils and eyes were burning and we could hardly breathe.  Fresh oxygen is kind of important.  Strike seven.

We left the casino property and went to a restaurant where we could actually taste the food and not the cigarette smoke.  In retrospect we both saved money as I'm sure we would have thrown it into a slot machine or paid double the price for food we could get somewhere else SANS smoke. 

After about an hour all my curiosity was satisfied about this establishment that is to define our area for decades to come.   What a letdown.  I'll never return. 



 

The Perfect Day: Synchronicity

OMG!  How do I even describe yesterday?  If the universe had hands, yesterday I got the ultimate high-five.  Synchronicity.  That's all I can say. 

For starters, I happened to be in San Diego for a business trip when I received word that my son, who is active military and stationed in San Diego, was being promoted.  How cool is THAT?  To make it even better I actually got to participate in the promotion ceremony, which is something that civilians don't normally do.  Wow.  That could not have ever been planned!

It gets better.

After the promotion ceremony my son dropped me at my hotel.  I had a business dinner I had to attend last night.  I was thinking of every single excuse I could think of to NOT go.  I generally loathe dinner functions and making small talk with people I don't know.  Plus, I was by myself and had no idea where I would be seated.  I dressed for dinner and made my way to the restaurant.

(Rewind 15 years as this information comes into play:  My son was in elementary school.  Long story short, he needed to be placed at a non-traditional school.  I went to war with the district.  It was ugly.  I still have battle scars.  The superintendent was a pompous prick and fought me tooth and nail AGAINST my son.  I acted as my own attorney and won.)

I entered the restaurant and made my way to the registration table.  I did not recognize a single soul.  I got my name tag and table seating assignment.  Shit.  This was going to be the dinner meeting from hell.   The place was wall-to-wall people.  I carefully navigated my way to my table, wine glass in hand, and sat down with a group of strangers.

After self-introductions the small talk begins.  The topic came 'round to kids and elementary schools.  Common ground was found.  GOLD!  I told of where mine went, but it was several years ago.  A man reached across the table to shake my hand.  It was Superintendent Pompous Prick who I went to battle with 15 years earlier.  I did not recognize him at first, and he did not recognize me.  No WAY!  This could not be happening!  I was seated next to somebody I wanted to run over with my car 15 years earlier!  The sheer odds of ever seeing this dude ever again were nil.  Winning the lottery has greater odds than ever meeting up again with that jerk. 

It gave me great JOY to the very core of my being to let Superintendent Pompous Prick know that earlier in the day I was at my son's promotion ceremony recognizing his achievements and advances in naval intelligence.  I thought Superintendent Pompous Prick was going to choke on his food.  Synchronicity in pure form.  Karma. 

Moral of the story:  NEVER underestimate a child's potential and write them off.

Liberals vs Conservatives

What I find so amusing about liberals is that they pride themselves on "personal freedom, expression, diversity, acceptance, blah, blah, blah" but only if it fits their own definition.  Here's a true story:

I know of a school in the Bay Area that helps kids with learning issues.  Sadly, many of these kids never find their niche and never self-actualize.  However, some of them do and become crazy successful.  The school likes to bring back these former students to motivate the student body.  This school is based in a very "liberal" population.  One of the former students is an aspiring officer in the military and is very, VERY happy.  However, he is not invited to back to the school because of the "anti-military" culture of the liberals.

Wow.  Talk about discrimination and prejudice. 

It's Not The Government

Interesting conversational material tonight.  The question was why we are so freaked about about giving our social security number, etc., to the government with the fear that they are spying on our every move is unfounded.  The government issued that information to you already.  There is strict protocol on how personal, identifying information is stored and used.  It's not the government you should fear...

It's Google and other private businesses that collect personal information and package it for sale.

In order for the government to collect information that we are all so paranoid about would require breaching several layers of bureaucracy.  Anybody who works within the government structure knows that certain departments do not communicate with others for that very fear of one gaining too much control.  The "government" would require warrants for information that entities like Google collect free of rules and restrictions and control.  See, corporations do not adhere to the same privacy rules that the government does despite the fact that we all are fed to believe otherwise. 
.
The other interesting tidbit of conversation tonight is that the United States does not have a media that is  public owned and operated unlike the United Kingdom with the BBC and Canada as immediate examples.  While I can understand the arguments of a "government" owned and operated media as being a propaganda machine, the thought of a corporation propaganda machine is much more frightening as profits are the ultimate goal.  No wonder our news media is filled with fear and horror.  It sells.  Profits.  The corporation answers to shareholders.  The government, no matter how oppressive or messed up, ultimately answers to the people.

Paper Brain

I finally did it.  I completely ditched my google-yahoo-outlook-iPhone-whatever electronic personal calender/organizer.  I could not take it anymore.  There's always a software glitch or a configuration issue.  You always need an electrical charge.  The other eerie side issue of electronic organizers is what happens to your "personal" contacts and information once it is launched into cyberspace. 

I went back to my paper organizing system I had 25 years ago. 

There is this amazing tool called a pencil.  It requires no batteries, no software updates, and only costs a penny.  If you need to change an appointment or contact information there is this buddy utility component commonly known as an 'eraser' that instantly allows edits!

There is also this super secure method of transmitting correspondence and information.  It's called snail mail and phone calls.  This gadget called the telephone actually allows for a personal touch mimicking the sound of your own voice!  How COOL is THAT!  No more need for clumsy email/text emoticons or risk of having your message come across in a tone you did not intend.  The super cool part is that the person you are communicating with has the capability to respond instantly with THEIR own VOICE! 


Amazing.  Top that, Google Geeks. 

Canada and the United States: Borders Explained

I always wondered why Lake of the Woods had the weird border with Canada. 

Coffee: The Greatest Drink EVER

Why yes, I think I'll have another cup....  :)