Fanime: San Jose, California

Click on above photo to enlarge. Read this guy's shirt. He is TOTALLY what is wrong with the teaching of Jesus today. I don't think Jesus judges, but rather FORGIVES and ACCEPTS....

Yes, Northern Californians certainly know how to stir the pot, don't we? These pics were taken this past weekend in San Jose, California at the Fanime Convention. What is Fanime? Well, for us old-geezers it's basically a bunch of early-20-something-computer-geeks brininging Japanese cartoon forms to life. It's a celebration of Japanese pop-culture. Pretty flipping harmless, wouldn't you think? I mean, come on, do you feel threatened by a life-size Pikachu walking around?

Ohhhhhh..... I'm SCARED! Most of the kids who attend are 4.0 students who play Dungeons & Dragons in their spare time. If you're *really* nice, they will also fix your computer for you. See Weird Al's "White & Nerdy" video if you need proof.

So...... how do Jesus's so-called followers react to these kids? By staging protests and preaching at them from outside the San Jose Convention Center. The guy in the yellow shirt says it all. He is everything that is WRONG with organized religion. To their credit, the conventioneers reacted in the following ways:

1. By loudly chanting "get a job"
2. Chanting "Love and Peace" (which really pushed the born-agains over the edge)
3. Holding up a counter-sign that stated "Tits or GTFO"

But WAIT!!!! Jesus actually shows up! Let's hear what He has to say!!



At least the San Jose police evicted the born-again Jesus-Freaks off the premisis for disturbing the peace. Amen.

Dildo Restraining Order

.....what to bitch about today. I know. I'll write about the lady I met while I was getting my hair cut at the salon the other day. What does that got to do with a dildo? Well... I'll get to that in just a minute.

It's just another mundane day, and I had an appointment to get my hair done. The lady in the salon chair next to me started in on her nasty divorce and how her husband of 8 years had been siphoning money off of her and also decided to have an affair in the process. Of course once she found out about it, not only the money but also the other woman, she was livid beyond belief.

A nasty divorce is in the works. I'm talking NASTY.

She then went into a segment about how her ex had a restraining order filed against her. Her crime? For placing a DILDO in the back of his truck. Can you believe that? It took every fiber of my being not to bust out laughing, as she was visibly stunned and angry that a restraining order could be filed against her for doing such a thing.

She went on saying that her ex cried that "he was sexually intimidated" and "sexually manipulated" by her action. Give me a break. The only reason I could think of why he would be so upset by her action is that he has an extremely small penis.

Still, what would posses a woman to place a dildo in the back of her ex-husband's truck is beyond me. This must have been the King-Kong of all dildos to cause such a legal stir. Too funny. No, I guess I have not yet seen and heard everything yet.

Lame Bloggers

You've seen their profiles.... you've read their blogs. Did you fall asleep??? I sure as shit did. I have no time for blogs that troll on about nothing. Most blogs bore me to tears. GET A BRAIN WOULD YOU, PEOPLE????? More often than not, there are blogs that include topics like:

1. What flowers are growing in my garden right now?
2. What color should I dye my hair?
3. Did you see me in the Jesus Wagon Prayer group photo taken last week?
4. Have you seen my potholders that I have stitched for all vets coming home from Iraq? If not, go to www.potholdesforvets.com.
5. My cat is my best friend;
6. I just gave birth to my 7th child. Want to see the video?
7. I am a pathetic, fucking loser...Do you need a YouTube video for proof?

Shit...... write about something fucking interesting, would you PLEASE?????

Bank of America

I have another banking horror story for you all. This one involves Bank of America. If you have any money there at all, I advise changing banks immediately.

Back in January, I was "nominated" to serve as a a main trustee for an entity based in the East Bay. The trustee before me was extremely organized, and had been running the operation for the past 20 years or so. The records and all paperwork were meticulous when I received them.

This entity banks at Bank of America, and I hold the copies of the bank's own signature cards stating the signers on the account and the instruction as to how the money may be disbursed. So..... I needed to transfer money from one account to the other. I got the singers on the account to "bless" it. I walk into a Sonoma County branch to execute the transaction.

The nightmare begins....

Bank of America shows signers on the account from 10 years ago. Their computer system does not recognize the current signers/personnel. Even when the bank's recognized signer(s) tried to execute the transaction, they were given the run-around, lame excuses, and yet another 800 number to call and be put on eternal hold.

Here's the truth: Bank of America lost the signature card, and they won't admit it. They have been giving us the run-around for weeks now. We have been demanding they pull the signature card out of the file -- we ALWAYS get a lame excuse. They're too busy posting signs stating "se habla Espanol." I guess they need a fresh batch of suckers.

....and yet these morons will receive just *how* much money in government bailouts?????

Stainless Steel Kitchens

Would somebody put an end to this ridiculous fad already? I think I'm the only person on earth who detests the stainless steel "look" in the kitchen and has NOT purchased any such appliances or countertops. There are lots of reasons I don't care for the look. For starters, I don't want my kitchen resembling the examination table at my vetrinarian's place where I need to hold down Fluffy/Fido while the vet injects shots into his neck.

One of the other reasons I don't like stainless steel kitchens is because it also reminds me of my doctor's office where I'm required to place my legs in stainless steel stirrups and expose parts of my body that are exclusively reserved for purposes other than getting portions of my cervix painfully picked off for a lab slide.

And.... as if I need *another* reason to hate stainless steel kitchens.... it is that unless you're an OCD clean freak, stainless steel will be full of smudges and fingerprints -- no matter how many times you threaten the kids and/or spouse with chopping off their grubby little hands. Sorry, we actually *live* in our house and the kitchen is not a museum modeled after a WWII medical torture chamber. I have better things to do rather than to be constantly wiping down kitchen surfaces.

Questions for God

I'm sure we all have our own list of things we want to ask The Big Guy Upstairs. We are told that everything has a purpose under heaven, and to trust in God's process. Still, I can't help but wonder....

1. What *is* the meaning of life;
2. Why do we harm and kill each other;
3. Why do the good people always seem to suffer and the assholes get away scot-free;
4. What purpose do mosquitoes serve;
5. Is there really true love;
6. How in the hell did Miley Cyrus become Disney's pop Queen?

Ponder, ponder, ponder all of this I will..... Would somebody puh-leeze open me a bottle of wine?

East Coast

What is it about the east coast? Those of us out here on the left coast have a hard time comprehending their ways. East Coasties are not as bad as Texans, but there is a certain aura about them that rubs the rest of us the wrong way. The stereotype is that they are:
1. Pushy
2. Rude
3. Demanding
4. Opinionated
5. Smug
6. Abrasive
7. Despite the belief that they are superior to the rest of the U.S. population, they manage to speak as if they have a mouth-full of shit like 1920's street thugs.

Of course there are exceptions, as I do have some great friends from back east.....

California Special Election

Californians are being bombarded yet again with ballot-box governance. Why do we have elected officials if everything is going to the polls? Here's the problem... Nobody has the time to delve into all of the confusing double-speak that ladles propositions and other assorted ballot measures. Hell, 95% of people don't even open their flipping mail and pay their BILLS let alone ponder and analyze election material.

....and why should we????

It's filled with so much jargon and is so purposely complicated that they've even managed to make the populace's knee-jerk angry "no" votes come out to be a "yes" in their favor by twisting text and words around. It seems that no matter what, the outcome for all ballot measures leaves the average joes who actually hold jobs and pay taxes out in the cold. The poor get everything handed over to them, and the rich get loopholes galore.

Nobody knows what in the hell they're voting for anymore.... I do. The message loud and clear is "fuck you working guy -- GIVE ME MORE MONEY!"

Sit on a Corn Cob and ROTATE

One of my dearest friends from MN uses this phrase whenever she's disgusted with somebody. She is so truly pissed off when she says it, but I can't help but laugh because the visual is just too much! So..... whenever you're angry at somebody tell them to "sit on a corn cob and ROTATE!"

Furries

I agree this post would have had more impact around November, but I saw this car parked in my parking lot and just had to take a picture of the bumper sticker. This post is for my Furry Friends everywhere..... Yes, we DID stop Palin. We won't allow the dingy betch to shoot wolves from helicopters;)

Swine Flu

Remember the Sars virus and the Noro virus? We were all supposed to die of a mass pandemic back then. The world is still just as overpopulated as ever, and now we're threatened with the Swine Flu. Do you think you have the Swine Flu? Here is a GREAT link to check out your symptons and where to get help. Visit www.doihaveswineflu.org