Here is to YOU, MRH. We have been friends since you brought me my first pack of Kool cigarettes in 9th grade at a football game. Yeah....... we were KOOL!!!!!!!!!! Ahhhhhhhhh good times.....
Has life dealt you a hand you don't like? I don't like it either. Good thing that cards burn, so let's light them on FIRE! I dare you. Oh yeah, singe the ass hairs of fate. I've got plenty of matches and lighter fluid.
Point is that after the ass-hair-singe session is over we have plenty of other moral crusades to go on. We will take on that stupid-ass FB that has some of our classmates pictured at Sam's pub nightly with God-Only-Knows-Who hiking up her skirt for the camera and groping the troll-on-steroids boyfriend with the same fake pose/snarl-smile. Where are her kids? What????? Who?????? Them??????? I think they were all left a bowl of cold cereal and a note that said "Mommy is in luv with her 1 and only gr8. Blu Eyez will smile when angels cum and help u get off 2 skool. C U L8R as I am at spin with a bicycle seat up my ass. Have a gr8 day! God Luvs U! U R blessed. Shitting rainblows (misspelling intenned) and unicorns ur way."
Showing posts with label my best friends. Show all posts
Showing posts with label my best friends. Show all posts
Sunday, November 13, 2011
Wednesday, September 21, 2011
Minnesota People I love
No, i don't spew general hatred at the world. However, most of you dumb bastards deserve my general crankiness -- that's why I bitch about you all. Wow... every day I sound more and more like my grouchy, German grandfather from Minnesota. He made Grumpy Old Men look like pussycats. He would have accused them as being gay lovers. Whatever.
Even somebody like myself has some true friends. Each and every one of them hold a special place in my heart.
JLB: I've known you since we were three. We are still best friends. Always will be. I think you should have been a doctor -- you're smart enough. AND.... you are funny as hell. Just don't try to steal the tapper from the keg. You always could speak your mind. I admire that.
MRH: We will occupy the same cell in hell. As long as there is internet access in hell, and the daily Facebook gag posts from G to S continue we will have something to laugh about. The blow-up doll posts also needs daily laugh fests as well. You are the master of detecting gay cover ups.
SSP: Heart of gold. So selfless. You always think about others before yourself. You are such an emotional rock for flighty psychos like myself. You love unconditionally. Plus, you are FUN to drive around and dump ash trays into the street, turn around, drive by, and laugh some more. BTW, I still have a scar on my wrist from when you thought my arm was an ashtray and you tried to burn out a cigarette on it. OUCH!!!!!!
SYB: Bringing women's spirituality to life and recognizing it as the force it SHOULD be in society. And you do so with laughter and positive energy. CIRCLE TIME! We are all in. Deep belly breath.
TYD: I have been jealous of you since we were eight. Thank god you're not an obnoxious snot. You were always the smart, pretty girl in class BETCH!!!!!! Fun times doing choreography in my basement. We put together some wild, creative stuff.:)
PMF: Ok... for somebody as small, petite, and quiet as you -- you always got me into TROUBLE! Keep throwing sandwiches and hot dogs at the Virgin Mary's feet! Nuns and the religious like hated kids like us. You are a rebel in your own way. I love ya!
Even somebody like myself has some true friends. Each and every one of them hold a special place in my heart.
JLB: I've known you since we were three. We are still best friends. Always will be. I think you should have been a doctor -- you're smart enough. AND.... you are funny as hell. Just don't try to steal the tapper from the keg. You always could speak your mind. I admire that.
MRH: We will occupy the same cell in hell. As long as there is internet access in hell, and the daily Facebook gag posts from G to S continue we will have something to laugh about. The blow-up doll posts also needs daily laugh fests as well. You are the master of detecting gay cover ups.
SSP: Heart of gold. So selfless. You always think about others before yourself. You are such an emotional rock for flighty psychos like myself. You love unconditionally. Plus, you are FUN to drive around and dump ash trays into the street, turn around, drive by, and laugh some more. BTW, I still have a scar on my wrist from when you thought my arm was an ashtray and you tried to burn out a cigarette on it. OUCH!!!!!!
SYB: Bringing women's spirituality to life and recognizing it as the force it SHOULD be in society. And you do so with laughter and positive energy. CIRCLE TIME! We are all in. Deep belly breath.
TYD: I have been jealous of you since we were eight. Thank god you're not an obnoxious snot. You were always the smart, pretty girl in class BETCH!!!!!! Fun times doing choreography in my basement. We put together some wild, creative stuff.:)
PMF: Ok... for somebody as small, petite, and quiet as you -- you always got me into TROUBLE! Keep throwing sandwiches and hot dogs at the Virgin Mary's feet! Nuns and the religious like hated kids like us. You are a rebel in your own way. I love ya!
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