The Best Worst Funeral

 Yes, it is a contradicting title for this post.  Today was Bobby's funeral.  True to Bobby's wishes, the funeral was held out at the beach and everybody was encouraged to dress in Hawaiian garb.  Bobby's favorite music was playing:  CSNY, Bob Marley, Beatles, Santana, Grateful Dead.

Lots of people showed up to honor him.  Old friends came from far and wide to honor Bobby.  It was so great to see everybody.  Everybody brought their beach chairs and a dish to share.  Then it came time for people to talk.  The first to speak was Bobby's son. The Sunday before Bobby died he was out in the backyard with his son expressing his wishes for his funeral to be at the beach.  After describing to his son what he wanted, his son made a remark that this was going to be one hell of a party and that Bobby should really be there for it.  Bobby looked at his son and said, "I will be there."

Well, I lost it.  The tears came and I could not turn them off.  After Bobby's son spoke, people were invited to share their memories of Bobby.  My own son got up to speak.  He recounted a time when they were at the grocery store together when my son was about 7 years old.  Bobby nudged my son and said, "Hey, see that person over there?  Go up to that person, say hello, and smile.  I bet you that person will smile at you and then that will encourage that person to go up to somebody else, smile, and say hello."

 I had no idea my son carried that story with him all of these years until he shared it this afternoon.  Bobby encouraged him to spread love and joy.  A smile costs nothing to share.  Bobby also told my son that the most important thing to wear at any occasion was a smile.  Mostly, always leave people better than you found them.  Again, I lost it crying.  

Bobby was truly a gentleman and genuinely loved people.  I wish there were more people like Bobby in this world.  Honestly,  sometimes I would think that he was the Second Coming of Christ.  I do not mean that in a snarky, disrespectful manner.  Bobby truly walked the path of loving kindness by donating his time and resources to the community and to those in need.  He never boasted nor sought recognition for his deeds.  He was kind and humble to the core.

Bobby came from a very privileged upbringing.  He grew up in Pebble Beach in an affluent home complete with servants and attended very prestigious, private schools.  He would work at the golf course in the summer parking cars in the early to mid 1970's for weed money (which was illegal back in the dark ages).   Fun little fact:  Clint Eastwood would ask for Bobby to park his car for him as Bobby was his favorite valet.  

Yes, Bobby had a very charmed upbringing. 

Life took a turn.  Bobby's dad lost his business.  During the turmoil Bobby's dad had an affair that ended his parents' marriage when Bobby's mom found out.  It's a long and complicated story, but what Bobby got out of it was that the unrelenting quest for money, status, and power ruined people.  He vowed to live his life by completely different values......and he did.

Even my crusty cowboy father liked Bobby, and my dad pretty much hated everybody.  That in itself says a lot.   

I will miss you, Bobby.   Truly.