Why is it MY Problem YOU did not SAVE YOUR $$$$$$$$$$$

 It's headed there.  Yup, there is trouble in my marriage.  I'm angry.  I'm frustrated.  My sister-in-law, who is elderly and broke, is now showing signs of dementia.  I'm now taking care of her personal bill paying.  I can't ask her anything, as she tap dances and does not give me a straight answer.  I have to go online to her accounts to see balances and activity. 

Hubby defends his sister and gets upset when I ask uncomfortable questions like, "Your sister is broke.  She owes $15,000 in credit card debt.  Her IRA distribution of $400 per month will run out in 2.3 years.  She needs that money to survive.  She has $250 in her checking account and zero savings.  We pay for her property taxes, fuel, auto registration, cell phone and more.  She can't get a reverse mortgage because she lives in a mobile home.  The rent on her mobile home space is going up January 1, 2025.  She blew her significant inheritance on crap made in China.  Yes, I have her on a wait list for low-income senior housing, but that wait is 3-5 years.  When we asked her POINT BLANK yesterday at our kitchen table what her long term plan was, she said she does not have one."

What frosted my behind was when I told her she does not have one nickle to spare she just giggled.  

I don't want her living here.  I think that is her passive-aggressive plan.  Plus, she does NOTHING to better her situation.  She does not take care of herself.  She does not exercise.  She can get a free hot lunch at the senior center Monday - Friday to either eat there or take it to go.  She won't do it.  They have services at the senior center.  She won't participate. 

Please people, don't dump your own elder care onto others.  You will get old someday.  You will need care.  Also, don't expect the money fairy to appear out of nowhere (whether it is the government or family members) to bail you out.  

Living alone on an island is sounding better and better.

David Allen Novitsky

 Scorpios.  I'm surrounded by them.  I have tumultuous relationships with Scorpios.  Someone once told me that the most complicated and explosive, intense relationships are between Scorpios and Pisces.  I don't know if that's true or not, but it's been my life experience thus far.  

After the death of my "first" love, I've gone back and read all my journal entries from high school.  Dave was mentioned almost daily for three years.  So much emotion, so much angst, so much insecurity on my part.  I finally got the strength to pull away from him.  Fast forward 41 years.  I never thought I would be participating via streaming for his funeral.  Dave was a huge chapter of my life, despite a confusing and awful one.  

I have pictures from high school dances that I almost shared on this blog.  I got an unnerving chill that Dave did not want that.  I'm not so sure I'm compelled to honor him after the way he treated me.  He certainly did not honor ME.  I might post the pictures, anyway. 

Yes, Dave was an abusive asshole.  One of my coven said it best that what I'm feeling is an uncomfortable sadness.  That assessment was spot on.  All of the memories came bubbling up to the surface watching his service this morning.  Dave could be incredibly funny and charming - he could also be very sadistic.  He was almost like a Jekyll and Hyde.  Believe it or not, I started crying when the priest went to the urn and blessed it, and then watching people come up to the urn after the service and have their moment.  Now Dave is a pile of ash.  Gone. 

Dave's own family did not speak to him (and vice versa) at the end.  Tells you a lot about his character.

https://www.millerfuneralfridley.com/obituaries/david-novitsky